david elginbrod-第94章

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kingdom；　one　passage　was　wound　up　in　this　fashion：

〃Yes；　my　friends；　even　her　most　gracious　Majesty；　Queen　Victoria；
the　ruler　over　millions　diverse　in　speech　and　in　hue；　to　whom　we　all
look　up　with　humble　submission；　and　whom　we　acknowledge　as　our
sovereign　ladyeven　she；　great　as　she　is；　adds　by　her　homage　a
jewel　to　his　crown；　and；　hailing　him　as　her　Lord；　bows　and　renders
him　worship！　　Yet　this　is　he　who　comes　down　to　visit；　yea；　dwells
with　his　own　elect；　his　chosen　ones；　whom　he　has　led　back　to　the
fold　of　his　grace。〃

For　some　reason；　known　to　himself；　Falconer　had　taken　Hugh；　who　had
gone　to　him　according　to　appointment　that　morning；　to　this　same
church。　　As　they　came　out；　Hugh　said：

〃Mr。…is　quite　proud　of　the　honour　done　his　master　by　the　queen。〃

〃I　do　not　think；〃　answered　Falconer；　〃that　his　master　will　think　so
much　of　it；　for　he　once　had　his　feet　washed　by　a　woman　that　was　a
sinner。〃

The　homily　which　Mrs。　Elton　read　at　prayers　that　evening；　bore　upon
the　same　subject　nominally　as　the　chapter　that　preceded　itthat　of
election；　a　doctrine　which　in　the　Bible　asserts　the　fact　of　God's
choosing　certain　persons　for　the　specific　purpose　of　receiving
first；　and　so　communicating　the　gifts　of　his　grace　to　the　whole
world；　but　which；　in　the　homily　referred　to；　was　taken　to　mean　the
choice　of　certain　persons　for　ultimate　salvation；　to　the　exclusion
of　the　rest。　　They　were　sitting　in　silence　after　the　close；　when
Harry　started　up　suddenly；　saying：　〃I　don't　want　God　to　love　me；　if
he　does　not　love　everybody；〃　and；　bursting　into　tears；　hurried　out
of　the　room。　　Mrs。　Elton　was　awfully　shocked　at　his　wickedness。
Euphra；　hastened　after　him；　but　he　would　not　return；　and　went
supperless　to　bed。　　Euphra；　however；　carried　him　some　supper。　　He
sat　up　in　bed　and　ate　it　with　the　tears　in　his　eyes。　　She　kissed
him；　and　bade　him　good　night；　when；　just　as　she　was　leaving　the
room；　he　broke　out　with：

〃But　only　think；　Euphra；　if　it　should　be　true！　　I　would　rather　not
have　been　made。〃

〃It　is　not　true；〃　said　Euphra；　in　whom　a　faint　glimmer　of　faith　in
God　awoke　for　the　sake　of　the　boy　whom　she　lovedawoke　to　comfort
him；　when　it　would　not　open　its　eyes　for　herself。　〃No；　Harry　dear；
if　there　is　a　God　at　all；　he　is　not　like　that。〃

〃No；　he　can't　be；〃　said　Harry；　vehemently；　and　with　the　brightness
of　a　sudden　thought；　〃for　if　he　were　like　that；　he　wouldn't　be　a　God
worth　being；　and　that　couldn't　be；　you　know。〃

Euphra　knelt　by　her　bedside；　and　prayed　more　hopefully　than　for　many
days　before。　　She　prayed　that　God　would　let　her　know　that　he　was　not
an　idol　of　man's　invention。

Till　friendly　sleep　came；　and　untied　the　knot　of　care；　both　Euphra
and　Harry　lay　troubled　with　things　too　great　for　them。　　Even　in
their　sleep；　the　care　would　gather　again；　and　body　itself　into
dreams。　　The　first　thought　that　visited　Harry　when　he　awoke；　was　the
memory　of　his　dream：　that　he　died　and　went　to　heaven；　that　heaven
was　a　great　church　just　like　the　one　Mrs。　Elton　went　to；　only
larger；　that　the　pews　were　filled　with　angels；　so　crowded　together
that　they　had　to　tuck　up　their　wings　very　close　indeedand　Harry
could　not　help　wondering　what　they　wanted　them　for；　that　they　were
all　singing　psalms；　that　the　pulpit　by　a　little　change　had　been
converted　into　a　throne；　on　which　sat　God　the　Father；　looking　very
solemn　and　severe；　that　Jesus　was　seated　in　the　reading…desk；
looking　very　sad；　and　that　the　Holy　Ghost　sat　on　the　clerk's　desk；
in　the　shape　of　a　white　dove；　that　a　cherub；　whose　face　reminded　him
very　much　of　a　policeman　he　knew；　took　him　by　the　shoulder　for
trying　to　pluck　a　splendid　green　feather　out　of　an　archangel's　wing；
and　led　him　up　to　the　throne；　where　God　shook　his　head　at　him　in
such　a　dreadful　way；　that　he　was　terrified；　and　then　stretched　out
his　hand　to　lay　hold　on　him；　that　he　shrieked　with　fear；　and　that
Jesus　put　out　his　hand　and　lifted　him　into　the　reading…desk；　and　hid
him　down　below。　　And　there　Harry　lay；　feeling　so　safe；　stroking　and
kissing　the　feet　that　had　been　weary　and　wounded　for　him；　till；　in
the　growing　delight　of　the　thought　that　he　actually　held　those　feet；
he　came　awake　and　remembered　it　all。　　Truly　it　was　a　childish　dream；
but　not　without　its　own　significance。　　For　surely　the　only　refuge
from　heathenish　representations　of　God　under　Christian　forms；　the
only　refuge　from　man's　blinding　and　paralysing　theories；　from　the
dead　wooden　shapes　substituted　for　the　living　forms　of　human　love
and　hope　and　aspiration；　from　the　interpretations　which　render
scripture　as　dry　as　a　speech　in　Chancerysurely　the　one　refuge　from
all　these　awful　evils　is　the　Son　of　man；　for　no　misrepresentation
and　no　misconception　can　destroy　the　beauty　of　that　face　which　the
marring　of　sorrow　has　elevated　into　the　region　of　reality；　beyond
the　marring　of　irreverent　speculation　and　scholastic　definition。
》From　the　God　of　man's　painting；　we　turn　to　the　man　of　God's　being；
and　he　leads　us　to　the　true　God；　the　radiation　of　whose　glory　we
first　see　in　him。　　Happy　is　that　man　who　has　a　glimpse　of　this；　even
in　a　dream　such　as　Harry's！a　dream　in　other　respects　childish　and
incongruous；　but　not　more　absurd　than　the　instruction　whence　it
sprung。

But　the　troubles　returned　with　the　day。　　Prayers　revived　them。　　He
sought　Euphra　in　her　room。

〃They　say　I　must　repent　and　be　sorry　for　my　sins；〃　said　he。　〃I　have
been　trying　very　hard；　but　I　can't　think　of　any；　except　once　that　I
gave　Gog〃　（his　Welsh　pony）　〃such　a　beating　because　he　would　go　where
I　didn't　want　him。　　But　he's　forgotten　it　long　ago；　and　I　gave　him
two　feeds　of　corn　after　it；　and　so　somehow　I　can't　feel　very　sorry
now。　　What　shall　I　do？But　that's　not　what　I　mind　most。　　It　always
seems　to　me　it　would　be　so　much　grander　of　God　to　say：　'Come　along；
never　mind。　　I'll　make　you　good。　　I　can't　wait　till　you　are　good；　I
love　you　so　much。'〃

His　own　words　were　too　much　for　Harry；　and　he　burst　into　tears　at
the　thought　of　God　being　so　kind。　　Euphra；　instead　of　trying　to
comfort　him；　cried　too。　　Thus　they　continued　for　some　time；　Harry
with　his　head　on　her　knees；　and　she　kindly　fondling　it　with　her
distressed　hands。　　Harry　was　the　first　to　recover；　for　his　was　the
April　time；　when　rain　clears　the　heavens。　　All　at　once　he　sprung　to
his　feet；　and　exclaimed：

〃Only　think；　Euphra！　　What　if；　after　all；　I　should　find　out　that　God
is　as　kind　as　you　are！〃

How　Euphra's　heart　smote　her！

〃Dear　Harry；〃　answered　she；　〃God　must　be　a　great　deal　kinder　than　I
am。　　I　have　not　been　kind　to　you　at　all。〃

〃Don't　say　that；　Euphra。　　I　shall　be　quite　content　if　God　is　as　kind
as　you。〃

〃Oh；　Harry！　　I　hope　God　is　like　what　I　dreamed　about　my　mother　last
night。〃

〃Tell　me　what　you　dreamed　about　her；　dear　Euphra。〃

〃I　dreamed　that　I　was　a　little　child〃

〃Were　you　a　little　girl　when　your　mother　died？〃

〃Oh；　yes；　such　a　tiny！　　But　I　can　just　remember　her。〃

〃Tell　me　your　dream；　then。〃

〃I　dreamed　that　I　was　a　little　girl；　out　all　alone　on　a　wild
mountain…moor；　tripping　and　stumbling　on　my　night…gown。　　And　the
wind　was　so　cold！　　And；　somehow　or　other；　the　wind　was　an　enemy　to
me；　and　it　followed　and　caught　me；　and　whirled　and　tossed　me　about；
and　then　ran　away　again。　　Then　I　hastened　on；　and　the　thorns　went
into　my　feet；　and　the　stones　cut　them。　　And　I　heard　the　blood　from
them　trickling　down　the　hill…side　as　I　walked。〃

〃Then　they　would　be　like　the　feet　I　saw　in　my　dream　last　night。〃

〃Whose　feet　were　they？〃

〃Jesus'　feet。〃

〃Tell　me　about　it。〃

〃You　must　finish　yours　first；　please；　Euphra。〃

So　Euphra　went　on：

〃I　got　dreadfully　lame。　　And　the　wind　ran　after　me；　and　caught　me
again；　and　took　me　in　his　great　blue　ghostly　arms；　and　shook　me
about；　and　then　dropped　me　again　to　go　on。　　But　it　was　very　hard　to
go　on；　and　I　couldn't　stop；　and　there　was　no　use　in　stopping；　for
the　wind　was　everywhere　in　a　moment。　　Then　suddenly　I　saw　before　me
a　great　cataract；　all　in　white；　falling　flash　from　a　precipice；　and
I　thought　with　myself；　'I　will　go　into　the　cataract；　and　it　will
beat　my　life　out；　and　then　the　wind　will　not　get　me　any　more。'　　So　I
hastened　towards　it；　but　the　wind　caught　me　many　times　before　I　g