erewhon revisited-第15章

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well…known　that　lengthened　advertisement　is　unnecessary；　prepares
ladies　or　gentlemen　with　appropriate　remarks　to　be　made　at　dinner…
parties　or　at…homes。　　Mrs。　P。　keeps　herself　well　up　to　date　with
all　the　latest　scandals。〃


〃Poor；　poor；　straighteners！〃　said　my　father　to　himself。　　〃Alas！
that　it　should　have　been　my　fate　to　ruin　youfor　I　suppose　your
occupation　is　gone。〃

Tearing　himself　away　from　the　College　of　Spiritual　Athletics　and
its　affiliated　shop；　he　passed　on　a　few　doors；　only　to　find　himself
looking　in　at　what　was　neither　more　nor　less　than　a　chemist's　shop。
In　the　window　there　were　advertisements　which　showed　that　the
practice　of　medicine　was　now　legal；　but　my　father　could　not　stay　to
copy　a　single　one　of　the　fantastic　announcements　that　a　hurried
glance　revealed　to　him。

It　was　also　plain　here；　as　from　the　shop　already　more　fully
described；　that　the　edicts　against　machines　had　been　repealed；　for
there　were　physical　try…your…strengths；　as　in　the　other　shop　there
had　been　moral　ones；　and　such　machines　under　the　old　law　would　not
have　been　tolerated　for　a　moment。

My　father　made　his　purchases　just　as　the　last　shops　were　closing。
He　noticed　that　almost　all　of　them　were　full　of　articles　labelled
〃Dedication。〃　　There　was　Dedication　gingerbread；　stamped　with　a
moulded　representation　of　the　new　temple；　there　were　Dedication
syrups；　Dedication　pocket…handkerchiefs；　also　shewing　the　temple；
and　in　one　corner　giving　a　highly　idealised　portrait　of　my　father
himself。　　The　chariot　and　the　horses　figured　largely；　and　in　the
confectioners'　shops　there　were　models　of　the　newly　discovered
relicmade；　so　my　father　thought；　with　a　little　heap　of　cherries
or　strawberries；　smothered　in　chocolate。　　Outside　one　tailor's　shop
he　saw　a　flaring　advertisement　which　can　only　be　translated；　〃Try
our　Dedication　trousers；　price　ten　shillings　and　sixpence。〃

Presently　he　passed　the　new　temple；　but　it　was　too　dark　for　him　to
do　more　than　see　that　it　was　a　vast　fane；　and　must　have　cost　an
untold　amount　of　money。　　At　every　turn　he　found　himself　more　and
more　shocked；　as　he　realised　more　and　more　fully　the　mischief　he
had　already　occasioned；　and　the　certainty　that　this　was　small　as
compared　with　that　which　would　grow　up　hereafter。

〃What；〃　he　said　to　me；　very　coherently　and　quietly；　〃was　I　to　do？
I　had　struck　a　bargain　with　that　dear　fellow；　though　he　knew　not
what　I　meant；　to　the　effect　that　I　should　try　to　undo　the　harm　I
had　done；　by　standing　up　before　the　people　on　Sunday　and　saying　who
I　was。　　True；　they　would　not　believe　me。　　They　would　look　at　my
hair　and　see　it　black；　whereas　it　should　be　very　light。　　On　this
they　would　look　no　further；　but　very　likely　tear　me　in　pieces　then
and　there。　　Suppose　that　the　authorities　held　a　post…mortem
examination；　and　that　many　who　knew　me　（let　alone　that　all　my
measurements　and　marks　were　recorded　twenty　years　ago）　identified
the　body　as　mine：　　would　those　in　power　admit　that　I　was　the
Sunchild？　　Not　they。　　The　interests　vested　in　my　being　now　in　the
palace　of　the　sun　are　too　great　to　allow　of　my　having　been　torn　to
pieces　in　Sunch'ston；　no　matter　how　truly　I　had　been　torn；　the
whole　thing　would　be　hushed　up；　and　the　utmost　that　could　come　of
it　would　be　a　heresy　which　would　in　time　be　crushed。

〃On　the　other　hand；　what　business　have　I　with　'would　be'　or　'would
not　be？'　　Should　I　not　speak　out；　come　what　may；　when　I　see　a　whole
people　being　led　astray　by　those　who　are　merely　exploiting　them　for
their　own　ends？　　Though　I　could　do　but　little；　ought　I　not　to　do
that　little？　　What　did　that　good　fellow's　instinctso　straight
from　heaven；　so　true；　so　healthytell　him？　　What　did　my　own
instinct　answer？　　What　would　the　conscience　of　any　honourable　man
answer？　　Who　can　doubt？

〃And　yet；　is　there　not　reason？　and　is　it　not　God…given　as　much　as
instinct？　　I　remember　having　heard　an　anthem　in　my　young　days；　'O
where　shall　wisdom　be　found？　the　deep　saith　it　is　not　in　me。'　　As
the　singers　kept　on　repeating　the　question；　I　kept　on　saying
sorrowfully　to　myself'Ah；　where；　where；　where？'　and　when　the
triumphant　answer　came；　'The　fear　of　the　Lord；　that　is　wisdom；　and
to　depart　from　evil　is　understanding；'　I　shrunk　ashamed　into　myself
for　not　having　foreseen　it。　　In　later　life；　when　I　have　tried　to
use　this　answer　as　a　light　by　which　I　could　walk；　I　found　it　served
but　to　the　raising　of　another　question；　'What　is　the　fear　of　the
Lord；　and　what　is　evil　in　this　particular　case？'　　And　my　easy
method　with　spiritual　dilemmas　proved　to　be　but　a　case　of　ignotum
per　ignotius。

〃If　Satan　himself　is　at　times　transformed　into　an　angel　of　light；
are　not　angels　of　light　sometimes　transformed　into　the　likeness　of
Satan？　　If　the　devil　is　not　so　black　as　he　is　painted；　is　God
always　so　white？　　And　is　there　not　another　place　in　which　it　is
said；　'The　fear　of　the　Lord　is　the　beginning　of　wisdom；'　as　though
it　were　not　the　last　word　upon　the　subject？　　If　a　man　should　not　do
evil　that　good　may　come；　so　neither　should　he　do　good　that　evil　may
come；　and　though　it　were　good　for　me　to　speak　out；　should　I　not　do
better　by　refraining？

〃Such　were　the　lawless　and　uncertain　thoughts　that　tortured　me　very
cruelly；　so　that　I　did　what　I　had　not　done　for　many　a　long　yearI
prayed　for　guidance。　　'Shew　me　Thy　will；　O　Lord；'　I　cried　in　great
distress；　'and　strengthen　me　to　do　it　when　Thou　hast　shewn　it　me。'
But　there　was　no　answer。　　Instinct　tore　me　one　way　and　reason
another。　　Whereon　I　settled　that　I　would　obey　the　reason　with　which
God　had　endowed　me；　unless　the　instinct　He　had　also　given　me　should
thrash　it　out　of　me。　　I　could　get　no　further　than　this；　that　the
Lord　hath　mercy　on　whom　He　will　have　mercy；　and　whom　He　willeth　He
hardeneth；　and　again　I　prayed　that　I　might　be　among　those　on　whom
He　would　shew　His　mercy。

〃This　was　the　strongest　internal　conflict　that　I　ever　remember　to
have　felt；　and　it　was　at　the　end　of　it　that　I　perceived　the　first；
but　as　yet　very　faint；　symptoms　of　that　sickness　from　which　I　shall
not　recover。　　Whether　this　be　a　token　of　mercy　or　no；　my　Father
which　is　in　heaven　knows；　but　I　know　not。〃

From　what　my　father　afterwards　told　me；　I　do　not　think　the　above
reflections　had　engrossed　him　for　more　than　three　or　four　minutes；
the　giddiness　which　had　for　some　seconds　compelled　him　to　lay　hold
of　the　first　thing　he　could　catch　at　in　order　to　avoid　falling；
passed　away　without　leaving　a　trace　behind　it；　and　his　path　seemed
to　become　comfortably　clear　before　him。　　He　settled　it　that　the
proper　thing　to　do　would　be　to　buy　some　food；　start　back　at　once
while　his　permit　was　still　valid；　help　himself　to　the　property
which　he　had　sold　the　Professors；　leaving　the　Erewhonians　to
wrestle　as　they　best　might　with　the　lot　that　it　had　pleased　Heaven
to　send　them。

This；　however；　was　too　heroic　a　course。　　He　was　tired；　and　wanted　a
night's　rest　in　a　bed；　he　was　hungry；　and　wanted　a　substantial
meal；　he　was　curious；　moreover；　to　see　the　temple　dedicated　to
himself；　and　hear　Hanky's　sermon；　there　was　also　this　further
difficulty；　he　should　have　to　take　what　he　had　sold　the　Professors
without　returning　them　their　4　pounds；　10s。；　for　he　could　not　do
without　his　blanket；　&c。；　and　even　if　he　left　a　bag　of　nuggets　made
fast　to　the　sucker；　he　must　either　place　it　where　it　could　be　seen
so　easily　that　it　would　very　likely　get　stolen；　or　hide　it　so
cleverly　that　the　Professors　would　never　find　it。　　He　therefore
compromised　by　concluding　that　he　would　sup　and　sleep　in
Sunch'ston；　get　through　the　morrow　as　he　best　could　without
attracting　attention；　deepen　the　stain　on　his　face　and　hair；　and
rely　on　the　change　so　made　in　his　appearance　to　prevent　his　being
recognised　at　the　dedication　of　the　temple。　　He　would　do　nothing　to
disillusion　the　peopleto　do　this　would　only　be　making　bad　worse。
As　soon　as　the　service　was　over；　he　would　set　out　towards　the
preserves；　and；　when　it　was　well　dark；　make　for　the　statues。　　He
hoped　that　on　such　a　great　day　the　rangers　might　be　many　of　them　in
Sunch'ston；　if　there　were　any　about；　he　must　trust　the　moonless
night　and　his　own　quick　eyes　and　ears　to　get　him　through　the
preserves　safely。

The　shops　wer