erewhon revisited-第22章
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〃And I shall say； somewhat sulkily； 'Then I suppose I must have
eggs and bacon。'
〃But in the morning there will come up a red mullet； beautifully
cooked； a couple of kidneys and three sausages browned to a turn；
and seasoned with just so much sage and thyme as will savour
without overwhelming them； and I shall eat everything。 It shall
then transpire that the angel knew about the luggage； and what I
was to have for breakfast； all the time； but wanted to give me the
pleasure of finding things turn out better than I had expected。
Heaven would be a dull place without such occasional petty false
alarms as these。〃
I have no business to leave my father's story； but the mouth of the
ox that treadeth out the corn should not be so closely muzzled that
he cannot sometimes filch a mouthful for himself； and when I had
copied out the foregoing somewhat irreverent paragraphs； which I
took down （with no important addition or alteration） from my
father's lips； I could not refrain from making a few reflections of
my own； which I will ask the reader's forbearance if I lay before
him。
Let heaven and hell alone； but think of Hades； with Tantalus；
Sisyphus； Tityus； and all the rest of them。 How futile were the
attempts of the old Greeks and Romans to lay before us any
plausible conception of eternal torture。 What were the Danaids
doing but that which each one of us has to do during his or her
whole life？ What are our bodies if not sieves that we are for ever
trying to fill； but which we must refill continually without hope
of being able to keep them full for long together？ Do we mind
this？ Not so long as we can get the wherewithal to fill them； and
the Danaids never seem to have run short of water。 They would
probably ere long take to clearing out any obstruction in their
sieves if they found them getting choked。 What could it matter to
them whether the sieves got full or no？ They were not paid for
filling them。
Sisyphus； again！ Can any one believe that he would go on rolling
that stone year after year and seeing it roll down again unless he
liked seeing it？ We are not told that there was a dragon which
attacked him whenever he tried to shirk。 If he had greatly cared
about getting his load over the last pinch； experience would have
shown him some way of doing so。 The probability is that he got to
enjoy the downward rush of his stone； and very likely amused
himself by so timing it as to cause the greatest scare to the
greatest number of the shades that were below。
What though Tantalus found the water shun him and the fruits fly
from him when he tried to seize them？ The writer of the 〃Odyssey〃
gives us no hint that he was dying of thirst or hunger。 The pores
of his skin would absorb enough water to prevent the first； and we
may be sure that he got fruit enough； one way or another； to keep
him going。
Tityus； as an effort after the conception of an eternity of
torture； is not successful。 What could an eagle matter on the
liver of a man whose body covered nine acres？ Before long he would
find it an agreeable stimulant。 If； then； the greatest minds of
antiquity could invent nothing that should carry better conviction
of eternal torture； is it likely that the conviction can be carried
at all？
Methought I saw Jove sitting on the topmost ridges of Olympus and
confessing failure to Minerva。 〃I see； my dear；〃 he said； 〃that
there is no use in trying to make people very happy or very
miserable for long together。 Pain； if it does not soon kill；
consists not so much in present suffering as in the still recent
memory of a time when there was less； and in the fear that there
will soon be more； and so happiness lies less in immediate pleasure
than in lively recollection of a worse time and lively hope of
better。〃
As for the young gentleman above referred to； my father met him
with the assurance that there had been several cases in which
living people had been caught up into heaven or carried down into
hell； and been allowed to return to earth and report what they had
seen； while to others visions had been vouchsafed so clearly that
thousands of authentic pictures had been painted of both states。
All incentive to good conduct； he had then alleged； was found to be
at once removed from those who doubted the fidelity of these
pictures。
This at least was what he had then said； but I hardly think he
would have said it at the time of which I am now writing。 As he
continued to sit in the Musical Bank； he took from his valise the
pamphlet on 〃The Physics of Vicarious Existence；〃 by Dr。 Gurgoyle；
which he had bought on the preceding evening； doubtless being led
to choose this particular work by the tenor of the old lady's
epitaph。
The second title he found to run； 〃Being Strictures on Certain
Heresies concerning a Future State that have been Engrafted on the
Sunchild's Teaching。〃
My father shuddered as he read this title。 〃How long；〃 he said to
himself； 〃will it be before they are at one another's throats？〃
On reading the pamphlet； he found it added little to what the
epitaph had already conveyed； but it interested him； as showing
that； however cataclysmic a change of national opinions may appear
to be； people will find means of bringing the new into more or less
conformity with the old。
Here it is a mere truism to say that many continue to live a
vicarious life long after they have ceased to be aware of living。
This view is as old as the non omnis moriar of Horace； and we may
be sure some thousands of years older。 It is only； therefore； with
much diffidence that I have decided to give a resume of opinions
many of which those whom I alone wish to please will have laid to
heart from their youth upwards。 In brief； Dr。 Gurgoyle's
contention comes to little more than saying that the quick are more
dead； and the dead more quick； than we commonly think。 To be
alive； according to him； is only to be unable to understand how
dead one is； and to be dead is only to be invincibly ignorant
concerning our own livingnessfor the dead would be as living as
the living if we could only get them to believe it。
CHAPTER XI： PRESIDENT GURGOYLE'S PAMPHLET 〃ON THE PHYSICS OF
VICARIOUS EXISTENCE〃
Belief； like any other moving body； follows the path of least
resistance； and this path had led Dr。 Gurgoyle to the conviction；
real or feigned； that my father was son to the sun； probably by the
moon； and that his ascent into the sky with an earthly bride was
due to the sun's interference with the laws of nature。
Nevertheless he was looked upon as more or less of a survival； and
was deemed lukewarm； if not heretical； by those who seemed to be
the pillars of the new system。
My father soon found that not even Panky could manipulate his
teaching more freely than the Doctor had done。 My father had
taught that when a man was dead there was an end of him； until he
should rise again in the flesh at the last day； to enter into
eternity either of happiness or misery。 He had； indeed； often
talked of the immortality which some achieve even in this world；
but he had cheapened this； declaring it to be an unsubstantial
mockery； that could give no such comfort in the hour of death as
was unquestionably given by belief in heaven and hell。
Dr。 Gurgoyle； however； had an equal horror； on the one hand； of
anything involving resumption of life by the body when it was once
dead； and on the other； of the view that life ended with the change
which we call death。 He did not； indeed； pretend that he could do
much to take away the sting from death； nor would he do this if he
could； for if men did not fear death unduly； they would often court
it unduly。 Death can only be belauded at the cost of belittling
life； but he held that a reasonable assurance of fair fame after
death is a truer consolation to the dying； a truer comfort to
surviving friends； and a more real incentive to good conduct in
this life； than any of the consolations or incentives falsely
fathered upon the Sunchild。
He began by setting aside every saying ascribed； however truly； to
my father； if it made against his views； and by putting his own
glosses on all that he co
