the essays of montaigne, v17-第1章
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The Essays of Montaigne； V17
by Michel de Montaigne
Translated by Charles Cotton
Edited by William Carew Hazilitt
1877
CONTENTS OF VOLUME 17。
IX。 Of Vanity
CHAPTER IX
OF VANITY
There is； peradventure； no more manifest vanity than to write of it so
vainly。 That which divinity has so divinely expressed to us ＇〃Vanity
of vanities： all is vanity。〃Eccles。； i。 2。＇ ought to be carefully and
continually meditated by men of understanding。 Who does not see that I
have taken a road； in which； incessantly and without labour； I shall
proceed so long as there shall be ink and paper in the world？ I can give
no account of my life by my actions； fortune has placed them too low： I
must do it by my fancies。 And yet I have seen a gentleman who only
communicated his life by the workings of his belly： you might see on his
premises a show of a row of basins of seven or eight days' standing； it
was his study； his discourse； all other talk stank in his nostrils。
Here； but not so nauseous； are the excrements of an old mind； sometimes
thick； sometimes thin； and always indigested。 And when shall I have done
representing the continual agitation and mutation of my thoughts； as they
come into my head； seeing that Diomedes wrote six thousand books upon the
sole subject of grammar？
＇It was not Diomedes； but Didymus the grammarian； who； as Seneca
（Ep。； 88） tells us； wrote four not six thousand books on questions
of vain literature； which was the principal study of the ancient
grammarian。Coste。 But the number is probably exaggerated； and for
books we should doubtless read pamphlets or essays。＇
What； then； ought prating to produce； since prattling and the first
beginning to speak； stuffed the world with such a horrible load of
volumes？ So many words for words only。 O Pythagoras； why didst not thou
allay this tempest？ They accused one Galba of old for living idly； he
made answer； 〃That every one ought to give account of his actions； but
not of his home。〃 He was mistaken； for justice also takes cognisance of
those who glean after the reaper。
But there should be some restraint of law against foolish and impertinent
scribblers； as well as against vagabonds and idle persons； which if there
were； both I and a hundred others would be banished from the reach of our
people。 I do not speak this in jest： scribbling seems to be a symptom of
a disordered and licentious age。 When did we write so much as since our
troubles？ when the Romans so much； as upon the point of ruin？ Besides
that； the refining of wits does not make people wiser in a government：
this idle employment springs from this； that every one applies himself
negligently to the duty of his vocation； and is easily debauched from it。
The corruption of the age is made up by the particular contribution of
every individual man； some contribute treachery； others injustice；
irreligion； tyranny； avarice； cruelty； according to their power； the
weaker sort contribute folly； vanity； and idleness； of these I am one。
It seems as if it were the season for vain things； when the hurtful
oppress us； in a time when doing ill is common； to do but what signifies
nothing is a kind of commendation。 'Tis my comfort； that I shall be one
of the last who shall be called in question； and whilst the greater
offenders are being brought to account； I shall have leisure to amend：
for it would； methinks； be against reason to punish little
inconveniences； whilst we are infested with the greater。 As the
physician Philotimus said to one who presented him his finger to dress；
and who he perceived； both by his complexion and his breath； had an ulcer
in his lungs： 〃Friend； it is not now time to play with your nails。〃
＇Plutarch； How we may distinguish a Flatterer from a Friend。＇
And yet I saw； some years ago； a person； whose name and memory I have in
very great esteem； in the very height of our great disorders； when there
was neither law nor justice； nor magistrate who performed his office； no
more than there is now； publish I know not what pitiful reformations
about cloths； cookery； and law chicanery。 Those are amusements wherewith
to feed a people that are ill…used； to show that they are not totally
forgotten。 Those others do the same； who insist upon prohibiting
particular ways of speaking； dances； and games； to a people totally
abandoned to all sorts of execrable vices。 'Tis no time to bathe and
cleanse one's self； when one is seized by a violent fever； it was for the
Spartans alone to fall to combing and curling themselves； when they were
just upon the point of running headlong into some extreme danger of their
life。
For my part； I have that worse custom； that if my slipper go awry； I let
my shirt and my cloak do so too； I scorn to mend myself by halves。
When I am in a bad plight； I fasten upon the mischief； I abandon myself
through despair； I let myself go towards the precipice； and； as they say；
〃throw the helve after the hatchet〃； I am obstinate in growing worse； and
think myself no longer worth my own care； I am either well or ill
throughout。 'T is a favour to me； that the desolation of this kingdom
falls out in the desolation of my age： I better suffer that my ill be
multiplied； than if my well had been disturbed。＇That； being ill； I
should grow worse； than that； being well； I should grow ill。＇ The words
I utter in mishap are words of anger： my courage sets up its bristles；
instead of letting them down； and； contrary to others； I am more devout
in good than in evil fortune； according to the precept of Xenophon； if
not according to his reason； and am more ready to turn up my eyes to
heaven to return thanks； than to crave。 I am more solicitous to improve
my health； when I am well； than to restore it when I am sick；
prosperities are the same discipline and instruction to me that
adversities and rods are to others。 As if good fortune were a thing
inconsistent with good conscience； men never grow good but in evil
fortune。 Good fortune is to me a singular spur to modesty and
moderation： an entreaty wins； a threat checks me； favour makes me bend；
fear stiffens me。
Amongst human conditions this is common enough： to be better pleased with
foreign things than with our own； and to love innovation and change：
〃Ipsa dies ideo nos grato perluit haustu；
Quod permutatis hora recurrit equis：〃
＇〃The light of day itself shines more pleasantly upon us because it
changes its horses every hour。〃 Spoke of a water hour…glass；
adds Cotton。＇
I have my share。 Those who follow the other extreme； of being quite
satisfied and pleased with and in themselves； of valuing what they have
above all the rest； and of concluding no beauty can be greater than what
they see； if they are not wiser than we； are really more happy； I do not
envy their wisdom； but their good fortune。
This greedy humour of new and unknown things helps to nourish in me the
desire of travel； but a great many more circumstances contribute to it；
I am very willing to quit the government of my house。 There is； I
confess； a kind of convenience in commanding； though it were but in a
barn； and in being obeyed by one's people； but 'tis too uniform and
languid a pleasure； and is； moreover； of necessity mixed with a thousand
vexatious thoughts： one while the poverty and the oppression of your
tenants： another； quarrels amongst neighbours： another； the trespasses
they make upon you afflict you；
〃Aut verberatae grandine vineae；
Fundusque mendax； arbore nunc aquas
Culpante； nunc torrentia agros
Sidera； nunc hyemes iniquas。〃
＇〃Or hail…smitten vines and the deceptive farm； now trees damaged
by the rains； or years of dearth； now summer's heat burning up the
petals； now destructive winters。〃Horatius； Od。； iii。 I； 29。＇
and that God scarce in six months sends a season wherein your bailiff can
do his business as he should； but that if it serves the vines； it spoils
the meadows：
〃Aut nimiis torret fervoribus aetherius sol；
