glaucus-or the wonders of the shore(格劳高斯)-第32章
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pure water； and the balmy breath of woods and heaths； were made by
God to give； and how the little geranium did its best； like a heaven…sent
angel； to right the wrong which man's ignorance had begotten； and drank
in； day by day； the poisoned atmosphere； and formed it into fair green
leaves； and breathed into the children's faces from every pore； whenever
they bent over it； the life…giving oxygen for which their dulled blood and
festered lungs were craving in vain； fulfilling God's will itself； though
man would not； too careless or too covetous to see； after thousands of
years of boasted progress； why God had covered the earth with grass；
herb； and tree； a living and life…giving garment of perpetual health and
youth。
It is too sad to think long about； lest we become very Heraclituses。
Let us take the other side of the matter with Democritus； try to laugh
man out of a little of his boastful ignorance and self…satisfied clumsiness；
and tell him； that if the House of Commons would but summon one of
the little Paramecia from any Thames' sewer…mouth； to give his evidence
before their next Cholera Committee； sanitary blue…books； invaluable as
they are； would be superseded for ever and a day； and sanitary reformers
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would no longer have to confess； that they know of no means of
stopping the smells which in past hot summers drove the members out of
the House； and the judges out of Westminster Hall。
Nay； in the boat at the minute of which I have been speaking； silent
and neglected； sat a fellow…passenger； who was a greater adept at
removing nuisances than the whole Board of Health put together； and
who had done his work； too； with a cheapness unparalleled； for all his
good deeds had not as yet cost the State one penny。 True； he lived by
his business； so do other inspectors of nuisances： but Nature； instead of
paying Maia Squinado； Esquire； some five hundred pounds sterling per
annum for his labour； had contrived； with a sublime simplicity of
economy which Mr。 Hume might have envied and admired afar off； to
make him do his work gratis； by giving him the nuisances as his
perquisites； and teaching him how to eat them。 Certainly （without
going the length of the Caribs； who upheld cannibalism because； they
said； it made war cheap； and precluded entirely the need of a
commissariat）； this cardinal virtue of cheapness ought to make Squinado
an interesting object in the eyes of the present generation； especially as
he was at that moment a true sanitary martyr； having； like many of his
human fellow…workers； got into a fearful scrape by meddling with those
existing interests； and 〃vested rights which are but vested wrongs；〃
which have proved fatal already to more than one Board of Health。 For
last night； as he was sitting quietly under a stone in four fathoms water；
he became aware （whether by sight； smell； or that mysterious sixth sense；
to us unknown； which seems to reside in his delicate feelers） of a
palpable nuisance somewhere in the neighbourhood； and； like a trusty
servant of the public； turned out of his bed instantly and went in search；
till he discovered； hanging among what he judged to be the stems of ore…
weed （Laminaria）； three or four large pieces of stale thornback； of most
evil savour； and highly prejudicial to the purity of the sea； and the health
of the neighbouring herrings。 Happy Squinado！ He needed not to
discover the limits of his authority； to consult any lengthy Nuisances'
Removal Act； with its clauses； and counter… clauses； and explanations of
interpretations； and interpretations of explanations。 Nature； who can
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afford to be arbitrary； because she is perfect； and to give her servants
irresponsible powers； because she has trained them to their work； had
bestowed on him and on his forefathers； as general health inspectors；
those very summary powers of entrance and removal in the watery
realms for which common sense； public opinion； and private
philanthropy are still entreating vainly in the terrestrial realms； so
finding a hole； in he went； and began to remove the nuisance； without
〃waiting twenty…four hours；〃 〃laying an information；〃 〃serving a notice；〃
or any other vain delay。 The evil was there； … and there it should not
stay； so having neither cart nor barrow； he just began putting it into his
stomach； and in the meanwhile set his assistants to work likewise。 For
suppose not； gentle reader； that Squinado went alone； in his train were
more than a hundred thousand as good as he； each in his office； and as
cheaply paid； who needed no cumbrous baggage train of force…pumps；
hose； chloride of lime packets； whitewash； pails or brushes； but were
every man his own instrument； and； to save expense of transit； just grew
on Squinado's back。 Do you doubt the assertion？ Then lift him up
hither； and putting him gently into that shallow jar of salt water； look at
him through the hand…magnifier； and see how Nature is maxima in
minimis。
There he sits； twiddling his feelers （a substitute； it seems； with
crustacea for biting their nails when they are puzzled）； and by no means
lovely to look on in vulgar eyes； … about the bigness of a man's fist； a
round…bodied； spindle…shanked； crusty； prickly； dirty fellow； with a
villanous squint； too； in those little bony eyes； which never look for a
moment both the same way。 Never mind： many a man of genius is
ungainly enough； and Nature； if you will observe； as if to make up to
him for his uncomeliness； has arrayed him as Solomon in all his glory
never was arrayed； and so fulfilled one of the proposals of old Fourier …
that scavengers； chimney… sweeps； and other workers in disgusting
employments； should be rewarded for their self…sacrifice in behalf of the
public weal by some peculiar badge of honour； or laurel crown。 Not
that his crown； like those of the old Greek games； is a mere useless
badge； on the contrary； his robe of state is composed of his fellow…
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