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第28章

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tone bluff on the creek and shoot enough lead into you to  ballast a submarine air…ship。  I'm captain of this company; and I've  swore allegiance to the Amalgamated States regardless of sectional;  secessional; and Congressional differences。  Have you got any smoking… tobacco?' winds up Sam。  'Mine got wet when I swum the creek this  morning。'

〃The reason I drag all this non ex parte evidence in is because Willie  Robbins was standing there listening to us。  I was a second sergeant  and he was a private then; but among us Texans and Westerners there  never was as much tactics and subordination as there was in the  regular army。  We never called our captain anything but 'Sam' except  when there was a lot of major…generals and admirals around; so as to  preserve the discipline。


〃And says Willie Robbins to me; in a sharp construction of voice much  unbecoming to his light hair and previous record:

〃'You ought to be shot; Ben; for emitting any such sentiments。  A man  that won't fight for his country is worse than a; horse…thief。  If I  was the cap; I'd put you in the guard…house for thirty days on round  steak and tamales。  War;' says Willie; 'is great and glorious。  I  didn't know you were a coward。'

〃'I'm not;' says I。  'If I was; I'd knock some of the pallidness off  of your marble brow。  I'm lenient with you;' I says; 'just as I am  with the Spaniards; because you have always reminded me of something  with mushrooms on the side。  Why; you little Lady of Shalott;' says I;  'you underdone leader of cotillions; you glassy fashion and moulded  form; you white…pine soldier made in the Cisalpine Alps in Germany for  the late New…Year trade; do you know of whom you are talking to?   We've been in the same social circle;' says I; 'and I've put up with  you because you seemed so meek and self…un…satisfying。  I don't  understand why you have so sudden taken a personal interest in  chivalrousness and murder。  Your nature's undergone a complete  revelation。  Now; how is it?'

〃'Well; you wouldn't understand; Ben;' says Willie; giving one of his  refined smiles and turning away。

〃'Come back here!' says I; catching him by the tail of his khaki coat。   'You've made me kind of mad; in spite of the aloofness in which I have  heretofore held you。  You are out for making a success in this hero  business; and I believe I know what for。  You are doing it either  because you are crazy or because you expect to catch some girl by it。   Now; if it's a girl; I've got something here to show you。'

〃I wouldn't have done it; but I was plumb mad。  I pulled a San  Augustine paper out of my hip…pocket; and showed him an item。  It was  a half a column about the marriage of Myra Allison and Joe Granberry。

〃Willie laughed; and I saw I hadn't touched him。

〃'Oh;' says he; 'everybody knew that was going to happen。  I heard  about that a week ago。'  And then he gave me the laugh again。

〃'All right;' says I。  'Then why do you so recklessly chase the bright  rainbow of fame? Do you expect to be elected President; or do you  belong to a suicide club ?'

〃And then Captain Sam interferes。

〃'You gentlemen quit jawing and go back to your quarters;' says he;  'or I'll have you escorted to the guard…house。  Now; scat; both of  you!  Before you go; which one of you has got any chewing…tobacco?'

〃'We're off; Sam;' says I。  'It's supper…time; anyhow。  But what do  you think of what we was talking about?  I've noticed you throwing out  a good many grappling…hooks for this here balloon called fame   What's ambition; anyhow?  What does a man risk his life day after day  for?  Do you know of anything he gets in the end that can pay him for  the trouble?  I want to go back home;' says I。  'I don't care whether  Cuba sinks or swims; and I don't give a pipeful of rabbit tobacco  whether Queen Sophia Christina or Charlie Culberson rules these fairy  isles; and I don't want my name on any list except the list of  survivors。  But I've noticed you; Sam;' says I; 'seeking the bubble  notoriety in the cannon's larynx a number of times。  Now; what do you  do it for?  Is it ambition; business; or some freckle…faced Pheebe at  home that you are heroing for ?'

〃'Well; Ben;' says Sam; kind of hefting his sword out from between his  knees; 'as your superior officer I could court…martial you for  attempted cowardice and desertion。  But I won't。  And I'll tell you  why I'm trying for promotion and the usual honors of war and conquest。   A major gets more pay than a captain; and I need the money。'

〃'Correct for you!' says I。  'I can understand that。  Your system of  fame…seeking is rooted in the deepest soil of patriotism。  But I can't  comprehend;' says I; 'why Willie Robbins; whose folks at home are well  off; and who used to be as meek and undesirous of notice as a cat with  cream on his whiskers; should all at once develop into a warrior bold  with the most fire…eating kind of proclivities。  And the girl in his  case seems to have been eliminated by marriage to another fellow。  I  reckon;' says I; 'it's a plain case of just common ambition。  He wants  his name; maybe; to go thundering down the coroners of time。  It must  be that。'

〃Well; without itemizing his deeds; Willie sure made good as a hero。   He simply spent most of his time on his knees begging our captain to  send him on forlorn hopes and dangerous scouting expeditions。  In  every fight he was the first man to mix it at close quarters with the  Don Alfonsos。  He got three or four bullets planted in various parts  of his autonomy。  Once he went off with a detail of eight men and  captured a whole company of Spanish。  He kept Captain Floyd busy  writing out recommendations of his bravery to send in to head… quarters; and he began to accumulate medals for all kinds of things… heroism and target…shooting and valor and tactics and  uninsubordination; and all the little accomplishments that look good  to the third assistant secretaries of the War Department。

〃Finally; Cap Floyd got promoted to be a major…general; or a knight  commander of the main herd; or something like that。  He pounded around  on a white horse; all desecrated up with gold…leaf and hen…feathers  and a Good Templar's hat; and wasn't allowed by the regulations to  speak to us。  And Willie Robbins was made captain of our company。

〃And maybe he didn't go after the wreath of fame then!  As far as I  could see it was him that ended the war。  He got eighteen of us boys friends of his; tookilled in battles that he stirred up himself; and  that didn't seem to me necessary at all。  One night he took twelve of  us and waded through a little nil about a hundred and ninety yards  wide; and climbed a couple of mountains; and sneaked through a mile of  neglected shrubbery and a couple of rock…quarries and into a rye…straw  village; and captured a Spanish general named; as they said; Benny  Veedus。  Benny seemed to me hardly worth the trouble; being a blackish  man without shoes or cuffs; and anxious to surrender and throw himself  on the commissary of his foe。

〃But that job gave Willie the big boost he wanted。  The San Augustine  News and the Galveston; St。  Louis; New York; and Kansas City papers  printed his picture and columns of stuff about him。  Old San Augustine  simply went crazy over its 'gallant son。'  The News had an editorial  tearfully begging the Government to call off the regular army and the  national guard; and let Willie carry on the rest of the war single… handed。  It said that a refusal to do so would be regarded as a proof  that the Northern jealousy of the South was still as rampant as ever。

〃If the war hadn't ended pretty soon; I don't know to what heights of  gold braid and encomiums Willie would have climbed; but it did。  There  was a secession of hostilities just three days after he was appointed  a colonel; and got in three more medals by registered mail; and shot  two Spaniards while they were drinking lemonade in an ambuscade。

〃Our company went back to San Augustine when the war was over。  There  wasn't anywhere else for it to go。  And what do you think?  The old  town notified us in print; by wire cable; special delivery; and a  nigger named Saul sent on a gray mule to San Antone; that they was  going to

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