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第39章

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〃'I belted one of 'em once in the Duquesne Hotel; in Pittsburgh;' says  I; 'and he didn't offer to resent it。  He was there dividing his  attentions between Monongahela whiskey and heiresses; and he got  fresh。'

〃'Of course;' she goes on; 'my father wouldn't allow a drummer to set  his foot in Elmeroft。  If he knew that I was talking to one over the  fence he would lock me in my room。'

〃'Would you let me come there?' says I。  'Would you talk to me if I  was to call?  For;' I goes on; 'if you said I might come and see you;  the earls might be belted or suspendered; or pinned up with safety… pins; as far as I am concerned。'

〃'I must not talk to you;' she says; 'because we have not been  introduced。  It is not exactly proper。  So I will say good…bye; Mr。' 〃'Say the name;' says I。  'You haven't forgotten it。'

〃'Pescud;' says she; a little mad。

〃'The rest of the name!' I demands; cool as could be。

〃'John;' says she。

〃'John…what?' I says。

〃'John A。;' says she; with her head high。  'Are you through; now?'

〃'I'm coming to see the belted earl to…morrow;' I says。

〃'He'll feed you to his fox…hounds;' says she; laughing。

〃'If he does; it'll improve their running;' says I。  'I'm something of  a hunter myself。'

〃'I must be going in now;' says she。  'I oughtn't to have spoken to  you at all。  I hope you'll have a pleasant trip back to Minneapolis  or Pittsburgh; was it?  Good…bye!'

〃'Good…night;' says I; 'and it wasn't Minneapolis。  What's your name;  first; please?'

〃She hesitated。  Then she pulled a leaf off a bush; and said:

〃'My name is Jessie;' says she。

〃'Good…night; Miss Allyn;' says I。

〃The next morning at eleven; sharp; I rang the door…bell of that  World's Fair main building。  After about three…quarters of an hour an  old nigger man about eighty showed up and asked what I wanted。  I gave  him my business card; and said I wanted to see the colonel。  He showed  me in。

〃Say; did you ever crack open a wormy English walnut?  That's what  that house was like。  There wasn't enough furniture in it to fill an  eight…dollar flat。  Some old horsehair lounges and three…legged chairs  and some framed ancestors on the walls were all that met the eye。  But  when Colonel Allyn comes in; the place seemed to light up。  You could  almost hear a band playing; and see a bunch of old…timers in wigs and  white stockings dancing a quadrille。  It was the style of him;  although he had on the same shabby clothes I saw him wear at the  station。

〃For about nine seconds he had me rattled; and I came mighty near  getting cold feet and trying to sell him some plate…glass。  But I got  my nerve back pretty quick。  He asked me to sit down; and I told him  everything。  I told him how I followed his daughter from Cincinnati;  and what I did it for; and all about my salary and prospects; and  explained to him my little code of livingto be always decent and  right in your home town; and when you're on the road; never take more  than four glasses of beer a day or play higher than a twenty…five…cent  limit。  At first I thought he was going to throw me out of the window;  but I kept on talking。  Pretty soon I got a chance to tell him that  story about the Western Congressman who had lost his pocket…book and  the grass widowyou remember that story。  Well; that got him to  laughing; and I'll bet that was the first laugh those ancestors and  horsehair sofas had heard in many a day。

〃We talked two hours。  I told him everything I knew; and then he began  to ask questions; and I told him the rest。  All I asked of him was to  give me a chance。  If I couldn't make a hit with the little lady; I'd  clear out; and not bother any more。  At last he says:

〃'There was a Sir Courtenay Pescud in the time of Charles I; if I  remember rightly。'

〃'If there was;' says I; 'he can't claim kin with our bunch。  We've  always lived in and around Pittsburgh。  I've got an uncle in the real… estate business; and one in trouble somewhere out in Kansas。  You can  inquire about any of the rest of us from anybody in old Smoky Town;  and get satisfactory replies。  Did you ever run across that story  about the captain of the whaler who tried to make a sailor say his  prayers?' says I。

〃'It occurs to me that I have never been so fortunate;' says the  colonel。

〃So I told it to him。  Laugh!  I was wishing to myself that he was a  customer。  What a bill of glass I'd sell him!  And then he says:

〃'The relating of anecdotes and humorous occurrences has always seemed  to me; Mr。  Pescud; to be a particularly agreeable way of promoting  and perpetuating amenities between friends。  With your permission; I  will relate to you a fox…hunting story with which I was personally  connected; and which may furnish you some amusement。'

So he tells it。  It takes forty minutes by the watch。  Did I laugh?   Well; say!  When I got my face straight he calls in old Pete; the  super…annuated darky; and sends him down to the hotel to bring up my  valise。  It was Elmcroft for me while I was in the town。

〃Two evenings later I got a chance to speak a word with Miss Jessie  alone on the porch while the colonel was thinking up another story。

〃'It's going to be a fine evening;' says I。

〃'He's coming;' says she。  'He's going to tell you; this time; the  story about the old negro and the green watermelons。  It always comes  after the one about the Yankees and the game rooster。  There was  another time;' she goes on; 'that you nearly got leftit was at  Pulaski City。'

〃'Yes;' says I; 'I remember。  My foot slipped as I was jumping on the  step; and I nearly tumbled off。'

〃'I know;' says she。  'Andand II was afraid you had; John A。  I  was afraid you had。'

〃And then she skips into the house through one of the big windows。〃


IV


〃Coketown!〃 droned the porter; making his way through the slowing car。

Pescud gathered his hat and baggage with the leisurely promptness of  an old traveller。

〃I married her a year ago;〃 said John。  〃I told you I built a house in  the East End。  The beltedI mean the colonelis there; too。  I find  him waiting at the gate whenever I get back from a trip to hear any  new story I might have picked up on the road。〃

I glanced out of the window。  Coketown was nothing more than a ragged  hillside dotted with a score of black dismal huts propped up against  dreary mounds of slag and clinkers。  It rained in slanting torrents;  too; and the rills foamed and splashed down through the black mud to  the railroad…tracks。

〃You won't sell much plate…glass here; John;〃 said I。  〃Why do you get  off at this end…o'…the…world?〃

〃Why;〃 said Pescud; 〃the other day I took Jessie for a little trip to  Philadelphia; and coming back she thought she saw some petunias in a  pot in one of those windows over there just like some she used to  raise down in the old Virginia home。  So I thought I'd drop off here  for the night; and see if I could dig up some of the cuttings or  blossoms for her。  Here we are。  Good…night; old man。  I gave you the  address。  Come out and see us when you have time。〃

The train moved forward。  One of the dotted brown ladies insisted on  having windows raised; now that the rain beat against them。  The  porter came along with his mysterious wand and began to light the car。

I glanced downward and saw the best…seller。  I picked it up and set it  carefully farther along on the floor of the car; where the rain…drops  would not fall upon it。  And then; suddenly; I smiled; and seemed to  see that life has no geographical metes and bounds。

〃Good…luck to you; Trevelyan;〃 I said。  〃And may you get the petunias  for your princess!〃



RUS IN URBE



Considering men in relation to money; there are three kinds whom I  dislike: men who have more money than they can spend; men who have  more money than they do spend; and men who spend more money than they  have。  Of the three varieties; I believe I have the least liking for  the first。  But; as a man; I liked Spencer Grenville North pretty  well; although he had something like two or ten or thirty millions I've forgotten exactly how many。

I did not leave town that summer。  I usually went down to a village on  the south shore of Long Island。  The place was surr

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