the professor(教授)-第12章
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calm his incorrect and offensive surmises； his bitter and haughty
taunts； and himself was chafed by a laugh； scarce louder than a
whisper。
His brow darkened； his thin nostril dilated a little。
“Yes；” he began； “I told you that you were an aristocrat； and
who but an aristocrat would laugh such a laugh as that； and look
such a look？ A laugh frigidly jeering； a look lazily mutinous；
gentlemanlike irony； patrician resentment。 What a nobleman you
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would have made； William Crimsworth！ You are cut out for one；
pity Fortune has baulked Nature！ Look at the features； figure；
even to the hands—distinction all over—ugly distinction！ Now； if
you’d only an estate and a mansion； and a park； and a title； how
you could play the exclusive； maintain the rights of your class；
train your tenantry in habits of respect to the peerage； oppose at
every step the advancing power of the people； support your rotten
order； and be ready for its sake to wade knee…deep in churls’
blood； as it is； you’ve no power； you can do nothing； you’re
wrecked and stranded on the shores of commerce； forced into
collision with practical men； with whom you cannot cope； for you’ll
never be a tradesman。”
The first part of Hunsden’s speech moved me not at all； or； if it
did； it was only to wonder at the perversion into which prejudice
had twisted his judgment of my character； the concluding
sentence； however； not only moved； but shook me； the blow it gave
was a severe one； because Truth wielded the weapon。 If I smiled
now； it； was only in disdain of myself。
Hunsden saw his advantage； he followed it up。
“You’ll make nothing by trade；” continued he； “nothing more
than the crust of dry bread and the draught of fair water on which
you now live； your only chance of getting a competency lies in
marrying a rich widow； or running away with an heiress。”
“I leave such shifts to be put in practice by those who devise
them；” said I； rising。
“And even that is hopeless；” he went on coolly。 “What widow
would have you？ Much less； what heiress？ You’re not bold and
venturesome enough for the one； nor handsome and fascinating
enough for the other。 You think perhaps you look intelligent and
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The Professor 46
polished； carry your intellect and refinement to market； and tell
me in a private note what price is bid for them。”
Mr。 Hunsden had taken his tone for the night； the string he
struck was out of tune； he would finger no other。 Averse to
discord； of which I had enough every day and all day long； I
concluded； at last； that silence and solitude were preferable to
jarring converse； I bade him good…night。
“What！ Are you going； lad？ Well； good…night： you’ll find the
door。” And he sat still in front of the fire； while I left the room and
the house。 I had got a good way on my return to my lodgings
before I found out that I was walking very fast； and breathing very
hard； and that my nails were almost stuck into the palms of my
clenched hands； and that my teeth were set fast； on making this
discovery； I relaxed both my pace； fists； and jaws； but I could not
so soon cause the regrets rushing rapidly through my mind to
slacken their tide。 Why did I make myself a tradesman？ Why did I
enter Hunsden’s house this evening？ Why； at dawn to…morrow；
must I repair to Crimsworth’s mill？ All that night did I ask myself
these questions； and all that night fiercely demanded of my soul an
answer。 I got no sleep； my head burned； my feet froze； at last the
factory bells rang； and I sprang from my bed with other slaves。
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Chapter V
here is a climax to everything； to every state of feeling as
well as to every position in life。 I turned this truism over in
T
my mind as； in the frosty dawn of a January morning； I
hurried down the steep and now icy street which descended from
Mrs。 King’s to the Close。 The factory workpeople had preceded me
by nearly an hour； and the mill was all lighted up and in full
operation when I reached it。 I repaired to my post in the counting…
house as usual； the fire there； but just lit； as yet only smoked；
Steighton had not yet arrived。 I shut the door and sat down at the
desk； my hands； recently washed in half…frozen water； were still
numb； I could not write till they had regained vitality； so I went on
thinking； and still the theme of my thoughts was the “climax。”
Self…dissatisfaction troubled exceedingly the current of my
meditations。
“Come； William Crimsworth；” said my conscience； or whatever
it is that within ourselves takes ourselves to task—“come； get a
clear notion of what you would have； or what you would not have。
You talk of a climax； pray has your endurance reached its climax？
It is not four months old。 What a fine resolute fellow you imagined
yourself to be when you told Tynedale you would tread in your
father’s steps； and a pretty treading you are likely to make of it！
How well you like X—！ Just at this moment how redolent of
pleasant associations are its streets； its shops； its warehouses； its
factories！ How the prospect of this day cheers you！ Letter…copying
till noon； solitary dinner at your lodgings； letter…copying till
evening； solitude； for you neither find pleasure in Brown’s； nor
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Smith’s； nor Nicholl’s； nor Eccles’ company； and as to Hunsden；
you fancied there was pleasure to be derived from his society—he！
he！ how did you like the taste you had of him last night？ was it
sweet？ Yet he is a talented； an original…minded man； and even he
does not like you； your self…respect defies you to like him； he has
always seen you to disadvantage； he always will see you to
disadvantage； your positions are unequal； and were they on the
same level your minds could not； assimilate； never hope； then； to
gather the honey of friendship out of that thorn…guarded plant。
Hello； Crimsworth！ where are your thoughts tending？ You leave
the recollection of Hunsden as a bee would a rock； as a bird a
desert； and your aspirations spread eager wings towar
