the half-brothers-第3章
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closed in early； and were often thick and misty； besides which； old
Adam； now paralytic and bedridden； foretold a downfall of snow before
long。 I soon got to my journey's end； and soon had done my business；
earlier by an hour； I thought； than my father had expected； so I took
the decision of the way by which I would return into my own hands；
and set off back again over the Fells； just as the first shades of
evening began to fall。 It looked dark and gloomy enough； but
everything was so still that I thought I should have plenty of time
to get home before the snow came down。 Off I set at a pretty quick
pace。 But night came on quicker。 The right path was clear enough in
the day…time； although at several points two or three exactly similar
diverged from the same place； but when there was a good light； the
traveller was guided by the sight of distant objects；a piece of
rock；a fall in the groundwhich were quite invisible to me now。 I
plucked up a brave heart； however； and took what seemed to me the
right road。 It was wrong； nevertheless； and led me whither I knew
not； but to some wild boggy moor where the solitude seemed painful；
intense； as if never footfall of man had come thither to break the
silence。 I tried to shoutwith the dimmest possible hope of being
heardrather to reassure myself by the sound of my own voice； but my
voice came husky and short； and yet it dismayed me； it seemed so
weird and strange； in that noiseless expanse of black darkness。
Suddenly the air was filled thick with dusky flakes； my face and
hands were wet with snow。 It cut me off from the slightest knowledge
of where I was； for I lost every idea of the direction from which I
had come； so that I could not even retrace my steps； it hemmed me in；
thicker； thicker； with a darkness that might be felt。 The boggy soil
on which I stood quaked under me if I remained long in one place； and
yet I dared not move far。 All my youthful hardiness seemed to leave
me at once。 I was on the point of crying； and only very shame seemed
to keep it down。 To save myself from shedding tears； I shouted
terrible； wild shouts for bare life they were。 I turned sick as I
paused to listen； no answering sound came but the unfeeling echoes。
Only the noiseless； pitiless snow kept falling thicker； thicker
faster； faster！ I was growing numb and sleepy。 I tried to move
about； but I dared not go far； for fear of the precipices which； I
knew； abounded in certain places on the Fells。 Now and then； I stood
still and shouted again； but my voice was getting choked with tears；
as I thought of the desolate helpless death I was to die； and how
little they at home； sitting round the warm； red； bright fire； wotted
what was become of me；and how my poor father would grieve for me
it would surely kill himit would break his heart； poor old man！
Aunt Fanny toowas this to be the end of all her cares for me？ I
began to review my life in a strange kind of vivid dream； in which
the various scenes of my few boyish years passed before me like
visions。 In a pang of agony； caused by such remembrance of my short
life； I gathered up my strength and called out once more； a long；
despairing； wailing cry； to which I had no hope of obtaining any
answer； save from the echoes around； dulled as the sound might be by
the thickened air。 To my surprise I heard a cryalmost as long； as
wild as mineso wild that it seemed unearthly； and I almost thought
it must be the voice of some of the mocking spirits of the Fells；
about whom I had heard so many tales。 My heart suddenly began to
beat fast and loud。 I could not reply for a minute or two。 I nearly
fancied I had lost the power of utterance。 Just at this moment a dog
barked。 Was it Lassie's barkmy brother's collie？an ugly enough
brute； with a white； ill…looking face； that my father always kicked
whenever he saw it； partly for its own demerits； partly because it
belonged to my brother。 On such occasions； Gregory would whistle
Lassie away； and go off and sit with her in some outhouse。 My father
had once or twice been ashamed of himself； when the poor collie had
yowled out with the suddenness of the pain； and had relieved himself
of his self…reproach by blaming my brother； who； he said； had no
notion of training a dog； and was enough to ruin any collie in
Christendom with his stupid way of allowing them to lie by the
kitchen fire。 To all which Gregory would answer nothing； nor even
seem to hear； but go on looking absent and moody。
Yes！ there again！ It was Lassie's bark！ Now or never！ I lifted up
my voice and shouted 〃Lassie！ Lassie！ for God's sake； Lassie！〃
Another moment； and the great white…faced Lassie was curving and
gambolling with delight round my feet and legs； looking； however； up
in my face with her intelligent； apprehensive eyes； as if fearing
lest I might greet her with a blow； as I had done oftentimes before。
But I cried with gladness； as I stooped down and patted her。 My mind
was sharing in my body's weakness； and I could not reason； but I knew
that help was at hand。 A gray figure came more and more distinctly
out of the thick； close…pressing darkness。 It was Gregory wrapped in
his maud。
〃Oh； Gregory！〃 said I； and I fell upon his neck； unable to speak
another word。 He never spoke much； and made me no answer for some
little time。 Then he told me we must move； we must walk for the dear
lifewe must find our road home； if possible； but we must move； or
we should be frozen to death。
〃Don't you know the way home？〃 asked I。
〃I thought I did when I set out； but I am doubtful now。 The snow
blinds me； and I am feared that in moving about just now； I have lost
the right gait homewards。〃
He had his shepherd's staff with him； and by dint of plunging it
before us at every step we tookclinging close to each other； we
went on safely enough； as far as not falling down any of the steep
rocks； but it was slow； dreary work。 My brother； I saw； was more
guided by Lassie and the way she took than anything else； trusting to
her instinct。 It was too dark to see far before us； but he called
her back continually； and noted from what quarter she returned； and
shaped our slow steps accordingly。 But the tedious motion scarcely
kept my very blood from freezing。 Every bone； every fibre in my body
seemed first to ache； and then to swell； and then to turn numb with
the intense cold。 My brother bore it better than I； from having been
more out upon the hills。 He did not speak； except to call Lassie。 I
strove to be brave； and not complain； but now I felt the deadly fatal
sleep stealing over me。
〃I can go no farther；〃 I said； in a drowsy tone。 I remember I
suddenly became dogged and resolved。 Sleep I would； were it only for
five minutes。 If death were to be the consequence； sleep I would。
Gregory stood still。 I suppose； he recognized the peculiar phase of
suffering to which I had been brought by the cold。
〃It is of no use；〃 said he； as if to himself。 〃We are no nearer home
than we were when we started； as far as I can tell。 Our only chance
is in Lassie。 Here！ roll thee in my maud； lad； and lay thee down on
this sheltered side of this bit of rock。 Creep close under it； lad；
and I'll lie by thee； and strive to keep the warmth in us。 Stay！
hast gotten aught about thee they'll know at home？〃
I felt him unkind thus to keep me from slumber； but on his repeating
the question； I pulled out my pocket…handkerchief； of some showy
pattern； which Aunt Fanny had hemmed for meGregory took it； and
tied it round Lassie's neck。
〃Hie thee； Lassie； hie thee home！〃 And the white…faced ill…favoured
brute was off like a shot in the darkness。 Now I might lie downnow
I might sleep。 In my drowsy stupor I felt that I was being tenderly
covered up by my brother； but what with I neither knew nor caredI
was too dull； too selfish； too numb to think and reason； or I might
have known that in that bleak ba
