a far country-第3章
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devoured with country appetites； watching our plates。
〃What's the matter； Hugh？ You haven't eaten all your lamb。〃
〃He doesn't like fat； Robert；〃 my mother explained。
〃I'd teach him to like it if he were my boy。〃
〃Well； Robert； he isn't your boy；〃 Cousin Jenny would remind him。。。。
His bark was worse than his bite。 Like many kind people he made use of
brusqueness to hide an inner tenderness； and on the train he was hail
fellow well met with every Tom； Dick and Harry that commuted；although
the word was not invented in those days；and the conductor and brakeman
too。 But he had his standards； and held to them。。。。
Mine was not a questioning childhood； and I was willing to accept the
scheme of things as presented to me entire。 In my tenderer years； when I
had broken one of the commandments on my father's tablet （there were more
than ten）； and had； on his home…coming； been sent to bed； my mother would
come softly upstairs after supper with a book in her hand； a book of
selected Bible stories on which Dr。 Pound had set the seal of his
approval； with a glazed picture cover； representing Daniel in the lions'
den and an angel standing beside him。 On the somewhat specious plea that
Holy Writ might have a chastening effect； she was permitted to minister
to me in my shame。 The amazing adventure of Shadrach； Meshach and
Abednego particularly appealed to an imagination needing little
stimulation。 It never occurred to me to doubt that these gentlemen had
triumphed over caloric laws。 But out of my window； at the back of the
second storey； I often saw a sudden； crimson glow in the sky to the
southward； as though that part of the city had caught fire。 There were
the big steel…works； my mother told me； belonging to Mr。 Durrett and Mr。
Hambleton； the father of Ralph Hambleton and the grandfather of Hambleton
Durrett； my schoolmates at Miss Caroline's。 I invariably connected the
glow； not with Hambleton and Ralph； but with Shadrach； Meshach and
Abednego！ Later on； when my father took me to the steel…works； and I
beheld with awe a huge pot filled with molten metal that ran out of it
like water； I asked himif I leaped into that stream； could God save me？
He was shocked。 Miracles； he told me； didn't happen any more。
〃When did they stop？〃 I demanded。
〃About two thousand years ago； my son；〃 he replied gravely。
〃Then；〃 said I； 〃no matter how much I believed in God； he wouldn't save
me if I jumped into the big kettle for his sake？〃
For this I was properly rebuked and silenced。
My boyhood was filled with obsessing desires。 If God； for example； had
cast down； out of his abundant store； manna and quail in the desert； why
couldn't he fling me a little pocket money？ A paltry quarter of a
dollar； let us say； which to me represented wealth。 To avoid the
reproach of the Pharisees； I went into the closet of my bed…chamber to
pray； requesting that the quarter should be dropped on the north side of
Lyme Street； between Stamford and Tryon； in short； as conveniently near
home as possible。 Then I issued forth； not feeling overconfident； but
hoping。 Tom Peters； leaning over the ornamental cast…iron fence which
separated his front yard from the street； presently spied me scanning the
sidewalk。
〃What are you looking for； Hugh？〃 he demanded with interest。
〃Oh； something I dropped；〃 I answered uneasily。
〃What？〃
Naturally； I refused to tell。 It was a broiling； midsummer day； Julia
and Russell； who had been warned to stay in the shade； but who were
engaged in the experiment of throwing the yellow cat from the top of the
lattice fence to see if she would alight on her feet； were presently
attracted； and joined in the search。 The mystery which I threw around it
added to its interest； and I was not inconsiderably annoyed。 Suppose one
of them were to find the quarter which God had intended for me？ Would
that be justice？
〃It's nothing；〃 I said； and pretended to abandon the questto be renewed
later。 But this ruse failed； they continued obstinately to search； and
after a few minutes Tom； with a shout； picked out of a hot crevice
between the bricksa nickel！
〃It's mine！〃 I cried fiercely。
〃Did you lose it？〃 demanded Julia； the canny one； as Tom was about to
give it up。
My lying was generally reserved for my elders。
〃N…no；〃 I said hesitatingly； 〃but it's mine all the same。 It wassent
to me。〃
〃Sent to you！〃 they exclaimed； in a chorus of protest and derision。 And
how； indeed； was I to make good my claim？ The Peterses； when assembled；
were a clan； led by Julia and in matters of controversy； moved as one。
How was I to tell them that in answer to my prayers for twenty…five
cents； God had deemed five all that was good for me？
〃Somesomebody dropped it there for me。〃
〃Who？〃 demanded the chorus。 〃Say； that's a good one！〃
Tears suddenly blinded me。 Overcome by chagrin； I turned and flew into
the house and upstairs into my room； locking the door behind me。 An
interval ensued； during which I nursed my sense of wrong； and it pleased
me to think that the money would bring a curse on the Peters family。 At
length there came a knock on the door； and a voice calling my name。
〃Hugh！ Hugh！〃
It was Tom。
〃Hughie； won't you let me in？ I want to give you the nickel。〃
〃Keep it！〃 I shouted back。 〃You found it。〃
Another interval； and then more knocking。
〃Open up；〃 he said coaxingly。 〃II want to talk to you。〃
I relented； and let him in。 He pressed the coin into my hand。 I
refused； he pleaded。
〃You found it；〃 I said； 〃it's yours。〃
〃Butbut you were looking for it。〃
〃That makes no difference；〃 I declared magnanimously。
Curiosity overcame him。
〃Say； Hughie； if you didn't drop it； who on earth did？〃
〃Nobody on earth；〃 I replied cryptically。。。。
Naturally； I declined to reveal the secret。 Nor was this by any means
the only secret I held over the Peters family； who never quite knew what
to make of me。 They were not troubled with imaginations。 Julia was a
little older than Tom and had a sharp tongue； but over him I exercised a
distinct fascination； and I knew it。 Literal himself； good…natured and
warm…hearted； the gift I had of tingeing life with romance （to put the
thing optimistically）； of creating kingdoms out of back yardsat which
Julia and Russell sniffedheld his allegiance firm。
II。
I must have been about twelve years of age when I realized that I was
possessed of the bard's inheritance。 A momentous journey I made with my
parents to Boston about this time not only stimulated this gift； but gave
me the advantage of which other travellers before me have likewise
availed themselvesof being able to take certain poetic liberties with a
distant land that my friends at home had never seen。 Often during the
heat of summer noons when we were assembled under the big maple beside
the lattice fence in the Peters' yard； the spirit would move me to relate
the most amazing of adventures。 Our train； for instance； had been held
up in the night by a band of robbers in black masks； and rescued by a
traveller who bore a striking resemblance to my Cousin Robert Breck。 He
had shot two of the robbers。 These fabrications； once started； flowed
from me with ridiculous ease。 I experienced an unwonted exhilaration；
exaltation； I began to believe that they had actually occurred。 In vain
the astute Julia asserted that there were no train robbers in the east。
What had my father done？ Well； he had been very brave； but he had had no
pistol。 Had I been frightened？ No； not at all； I； too； had wished for a
pistol。 Why hadn't I spoken of this before？ Well； so many things had
happened to me I couldn't tell them all at once。 It was plain that
Julia； though often fascinated against her will； deemed this sort of
thing distinctly immoral。
I was a boy divided in two。 One part of me dwelt in a fanciful realm of
his own weaving； and the other part was a commonplace and protesting
inhabitant of a world of lessons； disappointments and discipline。 My
instincts were not vicious。 Ideas bubbled up within me continually from
an apparently inexhaustible spring； and the very strength of the longings
they set in m
