a far country-第7章

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investigation。　　Our　spirits　rose　considerably　when　he　returned　to　report
that　Julia　had　unexpectedly　been　a　trump；　having　quieted　his　mother　by
the　surmise　that　he　was　spending　the　day　with　his　Aunt　Fanny。　　So　far；　so
good。　　The　problem　now　was　to　decide　upon　what　to　admit。　　For　we　must
both　tell　the　same　story。

It　was　agreed　that　we　had　fallen　into　Logan's　Pond　from　a　raft：　my
suggestion。　　Well；　said　Tom；　the　Petrel　hadn't　proved　much　better　than　a
raft；　after　all。　　I　was　in　no　mood　to　defend　her。

This　designation　of　the　Petrel　as　a　〃raft〃　was　my　first　legal　quibble。
The　question　to　be　decided　by　the　court　was；　What　is　a　raft？　just　as　the
supreme　tribunal　of　the　land　has　been　required；　in　later　years；　to
decide；　What　is　whiskey？　　The　thing　to　be　concealed　if　possible　was　the
building　of　the　〃raft；〃　although　this　information　was　already　in　the
possession　of　a　number　of　persons；　whose　fathers　might　at　any　moment　see
fit　to　congratulate　my　own　on　being　the　parent　of　a　genius。　　It　was　a
risk；　however；　that　had　to　be　run。　　And；　secondly；　since　Grits　Jarvis　was
contraband；　nothing　was　to　be　said　about　him。

I　have　not　said　much　about　my　mother；　who　might　have　been　likened　on　such
occasions　to　a　grand　jury　compelled　to　indict；　yet　torn　between　loyalty
to　an　oath　and　sympathy　with　the　defendant。　　I　went　through　the　Peters
yard；　climbed　the　wire　fence；　my　object　being　to　discover　first　from
Ella；　the　housemaid；　or　Hannah；　the　cook；　how　much　was　known　in　high
quarters。　　It　was　Hannah　who；　as　I　opened　the　kitchen　door；　turned　at　the
sound；　and　set　down　the　saucepan　she　was　scouring。

〃Is　it　home　ye　are？　　Mercy　to　goodness！〃　　（this　on　beholding　my　shrunken
costume）　〃Glory　be　to　God　you're　not　drownded！　and　your　mother　worritin'
her　heart　out！　　So　it's　into　the　wather　ye　were？〃

I　admitted　it。

〃Hannah？〃　I　said　softly。

〃What　then？〃

〃Does　mother　knowabout　the　boat？〃

〃Now　don't　ye　be　wheedlin'。〃

I　managed　to　discover；　however；　that　my　mother　did　not　know；　and　surmised
that　the　best　reason　why　she　had　not　been　told　had　to　do　with　Hannah's
criminal　acquiescence　concerning　the　operations　in　the　shed。　　I　ran　into
the　front　hall　and　up　the　stairs；　and　my　mother　heard　me　coming　and　met
me　on　the　landing。

〃Hugh；　where　have　you　been？〃

As　I　emerged　from　the　semi…darkness　of　the　stairway　she　caught　sight　of
my　dwindled　garments；　of　the　trousers　well　above　my　ankles。　　Suddenly　she
had　me　in　her　arms　and　was　kissing　me　passionately。　　As　she　stood　before
me　in　her　grey；　belted　skirt；　the　familiar　red…and…white　cameo　at　her
throat；　her　heavy　hair　parted　in　the　middle；　in　her　eyes　was　an　odd；
appealing　look　which　I　know　now　was　a　sign　of　mother　love　struggling　with
a　Presbyterian　conscience。　　Though　she　inherited　that　conscience；　I　have
often　thought　she　might　have　succeeded　in　casting　it　offor　at　least
some　of　ithad　it　not　been　for　the　fact　that　in　spite　of　herself　she
worshipped　its　incarnation　in　the　shape　of　my　father。　　Her　voice　trembled
a　little　as　she　drew　me　to　the　sofa　beside　the　window。

〃Tell　me　about　what　happened；　my　son；〃　she　said。

It　was　a　terrible　moment　for　me。　　For　my　affections　were　still
quiveringly　alive　in　those　days；　and　I　loved　her。　　I　had　for　an　instant
an　instinctive　impulse　to　tell　her　the　whole　story；South　Sea　Islands
and　all！　　And　I　could　have　done　it　had　I　not　beheld　looming　behind　her
another　figure　which　represented　a　stern　and　unsympathetic　Authority；　and
somehow　made　her；　suddenly；　of　small　account。　　Not　that　she　would　have
understood　the　romance；　but　she　would　have　comprehended　me。　　I　knew　that
she　was　powerless　to　save　me　from　the　wrath　to　come。　　I　wept。　　It　was
because　I　hated　to　lie　to　her；yet　I　did　so。　　Fear　gripped　me；　andlike
some　respectable　criminals　I　have　since　knownI　understood　that　any
confession　I　made　would　inexorably　be　used　against　me。。。。　　I　wonder
whether　she　knew　I　was　lying？　　At　any　rate；　the　case　appeared　to　be　a
grave　one；　and　I　was　presently　remanded　to　my　room　to　be　held　over　for
trial。。。。

Vividly；　as　I　write；　I　recall　the　misery　of　the　hours　I　have　spent；　while
awaiting　sentence；　in　the　little　chamber　with　the　honeysuckle　wall…paper
and　steel　engravings　of　happy　but　dumpy　children　romping　in　the　fields
and　groves。　　On　this　particular　March　afternoon　the　weather　had　become
morne；　as　the　French　say；　and　I　looked　down　sadly　into　the　grey　back　yard
which　the　wind　of　the　morning　had　strewn　with　chips　from　the　Petrel。　　At
last；　when　shadows　were　gathering　in　the　corners　of　the　room；　I　heard
footsteps。　　Ella　appeared；　prim　and　virtuous；　yet　a　little　commiserating。
My　father　wished　to　see　me；　downstairs。　　It　was　not　the　first　time　she
had　brought　that　summons；　and　always　her　manner　was　the　same！

The　scene　of　my　trials　was　always　the　sitting　room；　lined　with　grim　books
in　their　walnut　cases。　　And　my　father　sat；　like　a　judge；　behind　the　big
desk　where　he　did　his　work　when　at　home。　　Oh；　the　distance　between　us　at
such　an　hour！　　I　entered　as　delicately　as　Agag；　and　the　expression　in　his
eye　seemed　to　convict　me　before　I　could　open　my　mouth。

〃Hugh；〃　he　said；　〃your　mother　tells　me　that　you　have　confessed　to　going；
without　permission；　to　Logan's　Pond；　where　you　embarked　on　a　raft　and
fell　into　the　water。〃

The　slight　emphasis　he　contrived　to　put　on　the　word　raft　sent　a　colder
shiver　down　my　spine　than　the　iced　water　had　done。　　What　did　he　know？　or
was　this　mere　suspicion？　　Too　late；　now；　at　any　rate；　to　plead　guilty。

〃It　was　a　sort　of　a　raft；　sir；〃　I　stammered。

〃A　sort　of　a　raft；〃　repeated　my　father。　　〃Where；　may　I　ask；　did　you　find
it？〃

〃II　didn't　exactly　find　it；　sir。〃

〃Ah！〃　said　my　father。　　（It　was　the　moment　to　glance　meaningly　at　the
jury。）　The　prisoner　gulped。　　〃You　didn't　exactly　find　it；　then。　　Will　you
kindly　explain　how　you　came　by　it？〃

〃Well；　sir；　weIput　it　together。〃

〃Have　you　any　objection　to　stating；　Hugh；　in　plain　English；　that　you　made
it？〃

〃No；　sir；　I　suppose　you　might　say　that　I　made　it。〃

〃Or　that　it　was　intended　for　a　row…boat？〃

Here　was　the　time　to　appeal；　to　force　a　decision　as　to　what　constituted　a
row…boat。

〃Perhaps　it　might　be　called　a　row…boat；　sir；〃　I　said　abjectly。

〃Or　that；　in　direct　opposition　to　my　wishes　and　commands　in　forbidding
you　to　have　a　boat；　to　spend　your　money　foolishly　and　wickedly　on　a　whim；
you　constructed　one　secretly　in　the　woodshed；　took　out　a　part　of　the　back
partition；　thus　destroying　property　that　did；　not　belong　to　you；　and　had
the　boat　carted　this　morning　to　Logan's　Pond？〃
I　was　silent；　utterly　undone。　　Evidently　he　had　specific　information。。。。
There　are　certain　expressions　that　are；　at　times；　more　than　mere　figures
of　speech；　and　now　my　father's　wrath　seemed　literally　towering。　　It　added
visibly　to　his　stature。

〃Hugh；〃　he　said；　in　a　voice　that　penetrated　to　the　very　corners　of　my
soul；　〃I　utterly　fail　to　understand　you。　　I　cannot　imagine　how　a　son　of
mine；　a　son　of　your　mother　who　is　the　very　soul　of　truthfulness　and
honourcan　be　a　liar。〃　　（Oh；　the　terrible　emphasis　he　put　on　that　word！）
〃Nor　is　it　as　if　this　were　a　new　tendencyI　have　punished　you　for　it
before。　　Your　mother　and　I　have　tried　to　do　our　duty　by　you；　to　instil
into　you　Christian　teaching。　　But　it　seems　wholly　useless。　　I　confess
that　I　am　at　a　less　how　to　proceed。　　You　seem　to　have　no　conscience
whatever；　no　conception　of　what　you　owe　to　your　parents　and　your　God。
You　not　only　persistently　disregard　my　wishes　and　commands；　but　you　have；
for　many　months；　been　leading　a　double　life；　facing　me　every　day；　while
you　were　secretly　and　continually　disobeying　me。　　I　shudder　to　think
where　this　determination　of　yours　to　have　what　you　desire　at　any　price
will　lead　you　in　the　future。　　It　is　just　such　a　desire　that　distinguishes
wicked　men　from　good。〃

I　will　not　linger　upon　a　scene　the　very　remembrance　of　which　is　painful
to　this　day。。。。　　I　went　from　my　father's　presence　in　disgrace；　in　an
agony　of　spirit　that　was　overwhelming；　to　lock　the　door　of　my　room　and
drop　face　downward　on　the　bed；　to　sob　until　my　muscles　twitched。　　For　he
had；　indeed；　put　into　me　an　awful　fear。　　The　greatest　horror　of　my　boyish
imagination　was　a　wicked　man。