the poet at the breakfast table-第16章

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consistency；　brittle　externally；that　is　for　the　teeth；　which　want
resistance　to　be　overcome；　soft；　spongy；　well　tempered　and　flavored
internally；　that　is　for　the　organ　of　taste；　wholesome；　nutritious；
that　is　for　the　internal　surfaces　and　the　system　generally。

Good；said　the　Master；　and　laughed　a　hearty　terrestrial　laugh。

I　hope　he　will　carry　that　faculty　of　an　honest　laugh　with　him
wherever　he　goes；why　shouldn't　he？　　The　〃order　of　things；〃　as　he
calls　it；　from　which　hilarity　was　excluded；　would　be　crippled　and
one…sided　enough。　　I　don't　believe　the　human　gamut　will　be　cheated　of
a　single　note　after　men　have　done　breathing　this　fatal　atmospheric
mixture　and　die　into　the　ether　of　immortality！

I　did　n't　say　all　that；　if　I　had　said　it；　it　would　have　brought　a
pellet　from　the　popgun；　I　feel　quite　certain。

The　Master　went　on　after　he　had　had　out　his　laugh。　There　is　one
thing　I　am　His　Imperial　Majesty　about；　and　that　is　my　likes　and
dislikes。　　What　if　I　do　like　your　verses；you　can't　help　yourself。
I　don't　doubt　somebody　or　other　hates　'em　and　hates　you　and
everything　you　do；　or　ever　did；　or　ever　can　do。　　He　is　all　right；
there　is　nothing　you　or　I　like　that　somebody　does　n't　hate。　　Was
there　ever　anything　wholesome　that　was　not　poison　to　somebody？　　If
you　hate　honey　or　cheese；　or　the　products　of　the　dairy；I　know　a
family　a　good　many　of　whose　members　can't　touch　milk；　butter；　cheese；
and　the　like；　why；　say　so；　but　don't　find　fault　with　the　bees　and　the
cows。　　Some　are　afraid　of　roses；　and　I　have　known　those　who　thought　a
pond…lily　a　disagreeable　neighbor。　　That　Boy　will　give　you　the
metaphysics　of　likes　and　dislikes。　　Look　here；you　young　philosopher
over　there；do　you　like　candy？

That　Boy。…You　bet！　　Give　me　a　stick　and　see　if　I　don't。

And　can　you　tell　me　why　you　like　candy？

That　Boy。Because　I　do。

There；　now；　that　is　the　whole　matter　in　a　nutshell。　　Why　do　your
teeth　like　crackling　crust；　and　your　organs　of　taste　like　spongy
crumb；　and　your　digestive　contrivances　take　kindly　to　bread　rather
than　toadstools

That　Boy　（thinking　he　was　still　being　catechised）。Because　they　do。

Whereupon　the　Landlady　said；　Sh！　and　the　Young　Girl　laughed；　and　the
Lady　smiled；　and　Dr。　Ben　Franklin　kicked　him；　moderately；　under　the
table；　and　the　Astronomer　looked　up　at　the　ceiling　to　see　what　had
happened；　and　the　Member　of　the　Haouse　cried；　Order！　Order！　and　the
Salesman　said；　Shut　up；　cash…boy！　and　the　rest　of　the　boarders　kept
on　feeding；　except　the　Master；　who　looked　very　hard　but　half
approvingly　at　the　small　intruder；　who　had　come　about　as　nearly　right
as　most　professors　would　have　done。

You　poets；the　Master　said　after　this　excitement　had　calmed　down；
you　poets　have　one　thing　about　you　that　is　odd。　　You　talk　about
everything　as　if　you　knew　more　about　it　than　the　people　whose
business　it　is　to　know　all　about　it。　　I　suppose　you　do　a　little　of
what　we　teachers　used　to　call　〃cramming〃　now　and　then？

If　you　like　your　breakfast　you　must　n't　ask　the　cook　too　many
questions；I　answered。

Oh；　come　now；　don't　be　afraid　of　letting　out　your　secrets。　　I　have
a　notion　I　can　tell　a　poet　that　gets　himself　up　just　as　I　can　tell　a
make…believe　old　man　on　the　stage　by　the　line　where　the　gray　skullcap
joins　the　smooth　forehead　of　the　young　fellow　of　seventy。　　You'll
confess　to　a　rhyming　dictionary　anyhow；　won't　you？

I　would　as　lief　use　that　as　any　other　dictionary；　but　I　don't　want
it。　　When　a　word　comes　up　fit　to　end　a　line　with　I　can　feel　all　the
rhymes　in　the　language　that　are　fit　to　go　with　it　without　naming
them。　　I　have　tried　them　all　so　many　times；　I　know　all　the　polygamous
words　and　all　the　monogamous　ones；　and　all　the　unmarrying　ones；the
whole　lot　that　have　no　mates；as　soon　as　I　hear　their　names　called。
Sometimes　I　run　over　a　string　of　rhymes；　but　generally　speaking　it　is
strange　what　a　short　list　it　is　of　those　that　are　good　for　anything。
That　is　the　pitiful　side　of　all　rhymed　verse。　　Take　two　such　words　as
home　and　world。　　What　can　you　do　with　chrome　or　loam　or　gnome　or
tome？　　You　have　dome；　foam；　and　roam；　and　not　much　more　to　use　in
your　pome；　as　some　of　our　fellow…countrymen　call　it。　　As　for　world；
you　know　that　in　all　human　probability　somebody　or　something　will　be
hurled　into　it　or　out　of　it；　its　clouds　may　be　furled　or　its　grass
impearled；　possibly　something　may　be　whirled；　or　curled；　or　have
swirled；　one　of　Leigh　Hunt's　words；　which　with　lush；　one　of　Keats's；
is　an　important　part　of　the　stock　in　trade　of　some　dealers　in　rhyme。

And　how　much　do　you　versifiers　know　of　all　those　arts　and　sciences
you　refer　to　as　if　you　were　as　familiar　with　them　as　a　cobbler　is
with　his　wax　and　lapstone？

Enough　not　to　make　too　many　mistakes。　　The　best　way　is　to　ask　some
expert　before　one　risks　himself　very　far　in　illustrations　from　a
branch　he　does　not　know　much　about。　　Suppose；　for　instance；　I　wanted
to　use　the　double　star　to　illustrate　anything；　say　the　relation　of
two　human　souls　to　each　other；　what　would　Ido？　　Why；　I　would　ask
our　young　friend　there　to　let　me　look　at　one　of　those　loving
celestial　pairs　through　his　telescope；　and　I　don't　doubt　he'd　let　me
do　so；　and　tell　me　their　names　and　all　I　wanted　to　know　about　them。

I　should　be　most　happy　to　show　any　of　the　double　stars　or　whatever
else　there　might　be　to　see　in　the　heavens　to　any　of　our　friends　at
this　table；the　young　man　said；　so　cordially　and　kindly　that　it　was
a　real　invitation。

Show　us　the　man　in　the　moon；said　That　Boy。…I　should　so　like　to
see　a　double　star！said　Scheherezade；　with　a　very　pretty　air　of
smiling　modesty。

Will　you　go；　if　we　make　up　a　party？I　asked　the　Master。

A　cold　in　the　head　lasts　me　from　three　to　five　days；answered　the
Master。　I　am　not　so　very　fond　of　being　out　in　the　dew　like
Nebuchadnezzar：　that　will　do　for　you　young　folks。

I　suppose　I　must　be　one　of　the　young　folks；　not　so　young　as　our
Scheherezade；　nor　so　old　as　the　Capitalist；young　enough　at　any　rate
to　want　to　be　of　the　party。　　So　we　agreed　that　on　some　fair　night
when　the　Astronomer　should　tell　us　that　there　was　to　be　a　fine　show
in　the　skies；　we　would　make　up　a　party　and　go　to　the　Observatory。　　I
asked　the　Scarabee　whether　he　would　not　like　to　make　one　of　us。

Out　of　the　question；　sir；　out　of　the　question。　　I　am　altogether　too
much　occupied　with　an　important　scientific　investigation　to　devote
any　considerable　part　of　an　evening　to　star…gazing。

Oh；　indeed；said　I；and　may　I　venture　to　ask　on　what　particular
point　you　are　engaged　just　at　present？

…Certainly；　sir；　you　may。　　It　is；　I　suppose；　as　difficult　and
important　a　matter　to　be　investigated　as　often　comes　before　a　student
of　natural　history。　　I　wish　to　settle　the　point　once　for　all　whether
the　Pediculus　Mellitae　is　or　is　not　the　larva　of　Meloe。

＇Now　is　n't　this　the　drollest　world　to　live　in　that　one　could
imagine；　short　of　being　in　a　fit　of　delirium　tremens？　　Here　is　a
fellow…creature　of　mine　and　yours　who　is　asked　to　see　all　the　glories
of　the　firmament　brought　close　to　him；　and　he　is　too　busy　with　a
little　unmentionable　parasite　that　infests　the　bristly　surface　of　a
bee　to　spare　an　hour　or　two　of　a　single　evening　for　the　splendors　of
the　universe！　　I　must　get　a　peep　through　that　microscope　of　his　and
see　the　pediculus　which　occupies　a　larger　space　in　his　mental　vision
than　the　midnight　march　of　the　solar　systems。…The　creature；　the
human　one；　I　mean；　interests　me。＇

I　am　very　curious；I　said；about　that　pediculus　melittae；（just
as　if　I　knew　a　good　deal　about　the　little　wretch　and　wanted　to　know
more；　whereas　I　had　never　heard　him　spoken　of　before；　to　my
knowledge；）could　you　let　me　have　a　sight　of　him　in　your　microscope？

You　ought　to　have　seen　the　way　in　which　the　poor　dried…up　little
Scarabee　turned　towards　me。　　His　eyes　took　on　a　really　human　look；
and　I　almost　thought　those　antennae…like　arms　of　his　would　have
stretched　themselves　out　and　embraced　me。　　I　don't　believe　any　of　the
boarders　had　ever　shown　any　interest　inhim；　except　the　little
monkey　of　a　Boy；　since　he　had　been　in　the　house。　　It　is　not　strange；
he　had　not　seemed　to　me　much　like　a　human　being；　until　all　at　once　I
touched　the　one　point　where　his　vitality　had　con