dreams-第13章

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　nearer；　it　hung　alone　between　two　worlds。　　Hour　by　hour　in　that　bitter　struggle　its　limbs　grew　larger；　till　there　fell　from　it　rag　by　rag　the　garments　which　it　started　with。　　Drops　fell　from　its　eyes　as　it　strained　them；　each　step　it　climbed　was　wet　with　blood。　　Then　it　came　out　here。〃

And　I　thought　of　the　garden　where　men　sang　with　their　arms　around　one　another；　and　the　mountain…side　where　they　worked　in　company。　　And　I　shuddered。

And　I　said；　〃Is　it　not　terribly　alone　here？〃

God　said；　〃It　is　never　alone！〃

I　said；　〃What　has　it　for　all　its　labour？　　I　see　nothing　return　to　it。〃

Then　God　touched　my　eyes；　and　I　saw　stretched　out　beneath　us　the　plains　of　Heaven　and　Hell；　and　all　that　was　within　them。

God　said；　〃From　that　lone　height　on　which　he　stands；　all　things　are　open。　　To　him　is　clear　the　shining　in　the　garden；　he　sees　the　flower　break　forth　and　the　streams　sparkle；　no　shout　is　raised　upon　the　mountain…side　but　his　ear　may　hear　it。　　He　sees　the　crown　grow　and　the　light　shoot　from　it。　　All　Hell　is　open　to　him。　　He　sees　the　paths　mount　upwards。　　To　him；　Hell　is　the　seed　ground　from　which　Heaven　springs。　　He　sees　the　sap　ascending。〃

And　I　saw　the　figure　bend　over　its　work；　and　the　light　from　its　face　fell　upon　it。

And　I　said　to　God；　〃What　is　it　making？〃

And　God　said；　〃Music！〃

And　he　touched　my　ears；　and　I　heard　it。

And　after　a　long　while　I　whispered　to　God；　〃This　is　Heaven。〃

And　God　asked　me　why　I　was　crying。　　But　I　could　not　answer　for　joy。

And　the　face　turned　from　its　work；　and　the　light　fell　upon　me。　　Then　it　grew　so　bright　I　could　not　see　things　separately；　and　which　were　God；　or　the　man；　or　I；　I　could　not　tell；　we　were　all　blended。　　I　cried　to　God；　〃Where　are　you？〃　but　there　was　no　answer；　only　music　and　light。

Afterwards；　when　it　had　grown　so　dark　again　that　I　could　see　things　separately；　I　found　that　I　was　standing　there　wrapped　tight　in　my　little　old；　brown；　earthly　cloak；　and　God　and　the　man　were　separated　from　each　other；　and　from　me。

I　did　not　dare　say　I　would　go　and　make　music　beside　the　man。　　I　knew　I　could　not　reach　even　to　his　knee；　nor　move　the　instrument　he　played。　　But　I　thought　I　would　stand　there　on　my　little　peak　and　sing　an　accompaniment　to　that　great　music。　　And　I　tried；　but　my　voice　failed。　　It　piped　and　quavered。　　I　could　not　sing　that　tune。　　I　was　silent。

Then　God　pointed　to　me；　that　I　should　go　out　of　Heaven。

And　I　cried　to　God；　〃Oh；　let　me　stay　here！　　If　indeed　it　be；　as　I　know　it　is；　that　I　am　not　great　enough　to　sing　upon　the　mountain；　nor　strong　enough　to　labour　on　its　side；　nor　bright　enough　to　shine　and　love　within　the　garden；　at　least　let　me　go　down　to　the　great　gateway；　humbly　I　will　kneel　there　sweeping；　and；　as　the　saved　pass　in；　I　will　see　the　light　upon　their　faces。　　I　shall　hear　the　singing　in　the　garden；　and　the　shout　upon　the　hillside〃

God　said；　〃It　may　not　be；〃　he　pointed。

And　I　cried；　〃If　I　may　not　stay　in　Heaven；　then　let　me　go　down　to　Hell；　and　I　will　grasp　the　hands　of　men　and　women　there；　and　slowly；　holding　one　another's　hands；　we　will　work　our　way　upwards。〃

Still　God　pointed。

And　I　threw　myself　upon　the　earth　and　cried；　〃Earth　is　so　small；　so　mean！　　It　is　not　meet　a　soul　should　see　Heaven　and　be　cast　out　again！〃

And　God　laid　his　hand　on　me；　and　said；　〃Go　back　to　earth：　　that　which　you　seek　is　there。〃

I　awoke：　　it　was　morning。　　The　silence　and　darkness　of　the　night　were　gone。　Through　my　narrow　attic　window　I　saw　the　light　of　another　day。　　I　closed　my　eyes　and　turned　towards　the　wall：　　I　could　not　look　upon　the　dull　grey　world。

In　the　streets　below；　men　and　women　streamed　past　by　hundreds；　I　heard　the　beat　of　their　feet　on　the　pavement。　　Men　on　their　way　to　business；　servants　on　errands；　boys　hurrying　to　school；　weary　professors　pacing　slowly　the　old　street；　prostitutes；　men　and　women；　dragging　their　feet　wearily　after　last　night's　debauch；　artists　with　quick；　impatient　footsteps；　tradesmen　for　orders；　children　to　seek　for　bread。　　I　heard　the　stream　beat　by。　　And　at　the　alley's　mouth；　at　the　street　corner；　a　broken　barrel…organ　was　playing；　sometimes　it　quavered　and　almost　stopped；　then　went　on　again；　like　a　broken　human　voice。

I　listened：　　my　heart　scarcely　moved；　it　was　as　cold　as　lead。　　I　could　not　bear　the　long　day　before　me；　and　I　tried　to　sleep　again；　yet　still　I　heard　the　feet　upon　the　pavement。　　And　suddenly　I　heard　them　cry　loud　as　they　beat；　〃We　are　seeking！we　are　seeking！we　are　seeking！〃　and　the　broken　barrel…organ　at　the　street　corner　sobbed；　〃The　Beautiful！the　Beautiful！　the　Beautiful！〃　　And　my　heart；　which　had　been　dead；　cried　out　with　every　throb；　〃Love！Truth！the　Beautiful！the　Beautiful！〃　　It　was　the　music　I　had　heard　in　Heaven　that　I　could　not　sing　there。

And　fully　I　awoke。

Upon　the　faded　quilt；　across　my　bed　a　long　yellow　streak　of　pale　London　sunlight　was　lying。　　It　fell　through　my　narrow　attic　window。

I　laughed。　　I　rose。

I　was　glad　the　long　day　was　before　me。

Paris　and　London。





End