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would   be   ornamental   in   a   child。    We   then   had   the   latheron   summoned 

before the session�察�and was not long of making her confess that the father 

was Nichol Snipe�察�Lord Glencairn's gamekeeper�察�and both her and Nichol 

were obligated to stand in the kirk�此         �but Nichol was a graceless reprobate�察�

for    he  came    with    two   coats�察  �one   buttoned     behind    him�察  �and    another 

buttoned before him�察�and two wigs of my lord's�察�lent him by the valet´de´ 

chamer�察�the one over his face�察�and the other in the right way�察�and he stood 

with his face to the church´ wall。          When I saw him from the poopit�察�I said 

to him;Nichol�察�you must turn your face towards me� ─                  �At the which�察�he 



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turned round to be sure�察�but there he presented the same show as his back。 

I   was   confounded�察  �and   did   not   know   what   to   say�察  �but   cried   out   with   a 

voice of anger;Nichol�察�Nichol� �if ye had been a' back�察�ye wouldna hae 

been there this day�察─�which had such an effect on the whole congregation�察�

that   the   poor    fellow   suffered     afterwards     more    derision�察   �than   if  I  had 

rebuked him in the manner prescribed by the session。 

     This   affair�察  �with   the   previous   advice   of   Mr   Auld�察  �was�察  �however�察  �a 

warning   to   me�察  �that   no   pastor   of   his   parish   should   be   long   without   a 

helpmate。       Accordingly�察       �as  soon    as   the   year   was    out�察  �I  set  myself 

earnestly   about   the   search   for   one�察  �but   as   the   particulars   fall   properly 

within the scope and chronicle of the next year�察�I must reserve them for it�察�

and     I  do  not   recollect    that   any   thing    more    particular    befell   in  this�察�

excepting that William Mutchkins�察�the father of Mr Mutchkins�察�the great 

spirit´dealer in Glasgow�察�set up a change´house in the clachan�察�which was 

the first in the parish�察�and which�察�if I could have helped�察�would have been 

the last�察�for it was opening a howf to all manner of wickedness�察�and was 

an   immediate   get   and   offspring   of   the   smuggling   trade�察  �against   which   I 

had    so   set  my    countenance。       But     William     Mutchkins      himself     was   a 

respectable   man�察  �and   no   house   could   be   better   ordered   than   his   change。 

At a stated hour he made family worship�察�for he brought up his children in 

the fear of God and the Christian religion�察�and although the house was full�察�

he    would    go   in   to  the  customers�察     �and   ask   them    if  they   would     want 

anything for half an hour�察�for that he was going to make exercise with his 

family�察�and many a wayfaring traveller has joined in the prayer。                     There is 

no such thing�察�I fear�察�nowadays�察�of publicans entertaining travellers in this 

manner。 



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             CHAPTER VI                              YEAR 1765 



     As there was little in the last year that concerned the parish�察�but only 

myself�察�so in this the like fortune continued�察�and saving a rise in the price 

of barley�察�occasioned�察�as was thought�察�by the establishment of a house for 

brewing   whisky   in   a   neighbouring   parish�察  �it   could   not   be   said   that   my 

people were exposed to the mutations and influences of the stars�察�which 

ruled in the seasons of Ann。 Dom。 1765。             In the winter there was a dearth 

of fuel�察�such as has not been since�察�for when the spring loosened the bonds 

of the ice�察�three new coal´heughs were shanked in the Douray moor�察�and 

ever since there has been a great plenty of that necessary article。 Truly�察�it is 

very wonderful to see how things come round。                When the talk was about 

the shanking of their heughs�察�and a paper to get folk to take shares in them�察�

was   carried   through   the   circumjacent   parishes�察  �it   was   thought   a   gowk's 

errand�察�but no sooner was the coal reached�察�but up sprung such a traffic�察�

that   it  was   a  godsend    to  the  parish�察  �and   the  opening    of  a  trade   and 

commerce�察�that has�察�to use an old byword�察�brought gold in gowpins amang 

us。   From   that   time   my   stipend   has   been   on   the   regular   increase�察  �and 

therefore I think that the incoming of the heritors must have been in like 

manner augmented。 

     Soon after this�察�the time was drawing near for my second marriage。 I 

had placed my affections�察�with due consideration�察�on Miss Lizy Kibbock�察�

the   well   brought´up   daughter   of   Mr   Joseph   Kibbock   of   the   Gorbyholm�察�

who was the first that made a speculation in the farming way in Ayrshire�察�

and whose cheese were of such an excellent quality�察�that they have�察�under 

the name of Delap´cheese�察�spread far and wide over the civilized world。 

Miss   Lizy   and   me   were   married   on   the   29th   day   of   April�察  �with   some 

inconvenience to both sides�察�on account of the dread that we had of being 

married in May�察�for it is said ´ 

       ;Of the marriages in May�察�The bairns die of a decay。; 

       However�察�married we were�察�and we hired the Irville chaise�察�and with 

Miss Jenny her sister�察�and Becky Cairns her niece�察�who sat on a portmanty 

at our feet�察�we went on a pleasure jaunt to Glasgow�察�where we bought a 



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miracle     of   useful    things   for   the   manse�察    �that   neither   the   first  Mrs 

Balwhidder nor me ever thought of�察�but the second Mrs Balwhidder that 

was�察�had a geni for management�察�and it was extraordinary what she could 

go through。       Well may I speak of her with commendations�察�for she was 

the bee that made my honey�察�although at first things did not go so clear 

with us。     For she found the manse rookit and herrit�察�and there was such a 

supply of plenishing of all sort wanted�察�that I thought myself ruined and 

undone by  her  care  and industry。           There  was such   a buying   of   wool   to 

make blankets�察�with a booming of the meikle wheel to spin the same�察�and 

such birring of the little wheel for sheets and napery�察�that the manse was 

for   many   a   day   like   an   organ   kist。  Then   we   had   milk   cows�察  �and   the 

calves to bring up�察�and a kirning of butter�察�and a making of cheese�察�in short�察�

I was almost by myself with the jangle and din�察�which prevented me from 

writing a book as I had proposed�察�and I for a time thought of the peaceful 

and    kindly    nature    of  the   first  Mrs   Balwhidder      with    a  sigh�察  �but  the 

outcoming   was       soon    manifest。    The     second    Mrs    Balwhidder      sent  her 

butter on the market´days to Irville�察�and her cheese from time to time to 

Glasgow�察 �to   Mrs   Firlot�察  �that   kept   the  huxtry  in   the  Saltmarket�察  �and   they 

were   both   so   well   made�察  �that   our   dairy   was   just   a   coining   of   money�察�

insomuch that�察�after the first year�察�we had the whole tot of my stipend to 

put untouched into the bank。 

     But   I   must   say�察  �that   although   we   were  thus   making   siller   like   sclate 

stones�察�I was not satisfied in my own mind that I had got the manse merely 

to be a factory of butter and cheese�察�and to breed up veal calves for the 

slaughter�察�so I spoke to the second Mrs Balwhidder�察�and pointed out to her 

what I thought the error of our way�察�but she had been so ingrained with the 

profitable management of cows and grumphies in her father's house�察�that 

she   could   not   desist�察  �at   the   which   I   was   greatly   grieved。  By´and´by�察�

however�察  �I   began   to   discern   that   there   was   something   as   good  

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