letters to his son, 1749-第18章
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y impertinent； and draws himself into a scrape； by showing what he calls a proper spirit； and asserting himself。 A man of fashion does not suppose himself to be either the sole or principal object of the thoughts； looks； or words of the company； and never suspects that he is either slighted or laughed at； unless he is conscious that he deserves it。 And if （which very seldom happens） the company is absurd or ill…bred enough to do either； he does not care twopence； unless the insult be so gross and plain as to require satisfaction of another kind。 As he is above trifles； he is never vehement and eager about them； and； wherever they are concerned； rather acquiesces than wrangles。 A vulgar man's conversation always savors strongly of the lowness of his education and company。 It turns chiefly upon his domestic affairs； his servants； the excellent order he keeps in his own family； and the little anecdotes of the neighborhood； all which he relates with emphasis； as interesting matters。 He is a man gossip。
Vulgarism in language is the next and distinguishing characteristic of bad company and a bad education。 A man of fashion avoids nothing with more care than that。 Proverbial expressions and trite sayings are the flowers of the rhetoric of a vulgar man。 Would he say that men differ in their tastes； he both supports and adorns that opinion by the good old saying； as he respectfully calls it； that WHAT IS ONE MAN'S MEAT； IS ANOTHER MAN'S P01SON。 If anybody attempts being SMART； as he calls it； upon him； he gives them TIT FOR TAT； aye； that he does。 He has always some favorite word for the time being； which； for the sake of using often； he commonly abuses。 Such as VASTLY angry； VASTLY kind； VASTLY handsome； and VASTLY ugly。 Even his pronunciation of proper words carries the mark of the beast along with it。 He calls the earth YEARTH； he is OBLEIGED； not OBLIGED to you。 He goes TO WARDS； and not TOWARDS； such a place。 He sometimes affects hard words； by way of ornament； which he always mangles like a learned woman。 A man of fashion never has recourse to proverbs and vulgar aphorisms； uses neither favorite words nor hard words； but takes great care to speak very correctly and grammatically； and to pronounce properly； that is； according to the usage of the best companies。
An awkward address； ungraceful attitudes and actions； and a certain left… handedness （if I may use that word）； loudly proclaim low education and low company； for it is impossible to suppose that a man can have frequented good company； without having catched something； at least； of their air and motions。 A new raised man is distinguished in a regiment by his awkwardness； but he must be impenetrably dull； if； in a month or two's time； he cannot perform at least the common manual exercise； and look like a soldier。 The very accoutrements of a man of fashion are grievous encumbrances to a vulgar man。 He is at a loss what to do with his hat； when it is not upon his head； his cane （if unfortunately he wears one） is at perpetual war with every cup of tea or coffee he drinks； destroys them first； and then accompanies them in their fall。 His sword is formidable only to his own legs； which would possibly carry him fast enough out of the way of any sword but his own。 His clothes fit him so ill； and constrain him so much； that he seems rather； their prisoner than their proprietor。 He presents himself in company like a criminal in a court of justice； his very air condemns him； and people of fashion will no more connect themselves with the one； than people of character will with the other。 This repulse drives and sinks him into low company； a gulf from whence no man； after a certain age； ever emerged。
'Les manieres nobles et aisees； la tournure d'un homme de condition； le ton de la bonne compagnie； les graces； le jeune sais quoi； qui plait'； are as necessary to adorn and introduce your intrinsic merit and knowledge； as the polish is to the diamond； which； without that polish； would never be worn； whatever it might weigh。 Do not imagine that these accomplishments are only useful with women； they are much more so with men。 In a public assembly； what an advantage has a graceful speaker； with genteel motions； a handsome figure； and a liberal air； over one who shall speak full as much good sense； but destitute of these ornaments？ In business； how prevalent are the graces； how detrimental is the want of them？ By the help of these I have known some men refuse favors less offensively than others granted them。 The utility of them in courts and negotiations is inconceivable。 You gain the hearts； and consequently the secrets； of nine in ten； that you have to do with； in spite even of their prudence； which will； nine times in ten； be the dupe of their hearts and of their senses。 Consider the importance of these things as they deserve； and you will not lose one minute in the pursuit of them。
You are traveling now in a country once so famous both for arts and arms； that （however degenerate at present） it still deserves your attention and reflection。 View it therefore with care； compare its former with its present state； and examine into the causes of its rise and its decay。 Consider it classically and politically； and do not run through it； as too many of your young countrymen do； musically； and （to use a ridiculous word） KNICK…KNACKICALLY。 No piping nor fiddling； I beseech you； no days lost in poring upon almost imperceptible 'intaglios and cameos'： and do not become a virtuoso of small wares。 Form a taste of painting； sculpture； and architecture； if you please； by a careful examination of the works of the best ancient and modern artists； those are liberal arts； and a real taste and knowledge of them become a man of fashion very well。 But； beyond certain bounds； the man of taste ends； and the frivolous virtuoso begins。
Your friend Mendes； the good Samaritan； dined with me yesterday。 He has more good…nature and generosity than parts。 However； I will show him all the civilities that his kindness to you so justly deserves。 He tells me that you are taller than I am； which I am very glad of： I desire that you may excel me in everything else too； and； far from repining； I shall rejoice at your superiority。 He commends your friend Mr。 Stevens extremely； of whom too I have heard so good a character from other people； that I am very glad of your connection with him。 It may prove of use to you hereafter。 When you meet with such sort of Englishmen abroad； who； either from their parts or their rank； are likely to make a figure at home； I would advise you to cultivate them； and get their favorable testimony of you here； especially those who are to return to England before you。 Sir Charles Williams has puffed you （as the mob call it） here extremely。 If three or four more people of parts do the same； before you come back； your first appearance in London will be to great advantage。 Many people do； and indeed ought； to take things upon trust； many more do； who need not； and few dare dissent from an established opinion。 Adieu！
LETTER LXXXIV
LONDON； October 2； O。 S。 1749。
DEAR BOY： I received by the last post your letter of the 22d September； N。 S。； but I have not received that from Mr。 Harte to which you refer； and which you say contained your reasons for leaving Verona； and returning to Venice； so that I am entirely ignorant of them。 Indeed the irregularity and negligence of the post provoke me； as they break the thread of the accounts I want to receive from you； and of the instructions and orders which I send you； almost every post。 Of these last twenty posts。
I am sure that I have wrote eighteen； either to you or to Mr。 Harte； and it does not appear by your letter； that all or even any of my letters have been received。 I desire for the future； that both you and Mr。 Harte will constantly； in your letters； mention the dates of mine。 Had it not been for their miscarriage； you would not have； been in the uncertainty you seem to be in at present； with regard to your future motions。 Had you received my letters； you would have been by this time at Naples： but we must now take things where they are。
Upon the receipt； then； of this letter； you will
