the darrow enigma(达罗之迷)-第19章
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had been led to think me false to her； and that this act was the swift
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vengeance of her hot Eastern blood； flashed momentarily through my
mind； … all that could be explained as soon as I had her nestling in my arms。
I reached forward to embrace her； but she struck me in the face and fled！
For an instant my heart stood still。 It seemed to me it would never start；
but it soon began to throb again like a thing of lead； and the blood it
pumped was cold； for the winter had closed in upon it。 The elasticity of
my life； that ineffable resiliency of the soul which makes us more than
beasts of burden； was gone forever。 An automaton； informed only with
the material life； remained； … the spirit followed that fleeting figure down
the hill。 More than twenty years have passed and still the unrewarded
chase continues！
But it is to facts I have to call your attention； rather than to their effects。
A flutter of white muslin in the moonlit distance was all that was visible of
the retreating girl when I started mechanically； and without any particular
purpose in view； in pursuit of her。 My path lay by the banyan tree under
which we had so often sat； but every air…root seemed changed to a
writhing serpent。 As I threaded my way among them； a man stepped
from behind the trunk and disputed my passage。 His gigantic form was
silhouetted against the mass of rock forming the entrance to the little cave。
The bright moonlight did what it could to illumine that sinister face。 It
was Rama Ragobah！ For fully a minute we stood silently face to face；
each expecting the assault of the other。 It was Ragobah who spoke first。
〃She is mine； body and soul； and the English cur may find a mate in his
own kennel！〃 He bent toward me and hissed these words in my very face。
His hot breath seemed to poison me。 It made me beside myself。 I knew
he meant to take advantage of his physical superiority and attack me； by
the narrow watch he kept upon the heavy walking…stick I still carried in
my right hand。 He had expected I would attempt to strike with this； but
my constant practice at boxing had made my fists the more natural weapon。
I was so enraged I did not notice he was too close to use my stick to
advantage。 I simply acted without any thought whatever。 His attitude
was such； as he hissed his venom into my face； as to enable me to give
him a powerful 〃upper cut〃 under the jaw。 This； as I was so much lighter
than he； was the most effective blow I could deliver； yet； although it took
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him off his feet； it did not disable him。 I had not succeeded in placing it
as I had intended； and it had only the effect of rendering him demoniacal。
In an instant he was again upon his feet； and unsheathing a long knife。 I
knew it meant death for me if he were able to close with me。 It was
useless for me to call for help； for in those days this part of Malabar Hill
was as deserted as a wilderness。 Now； the very spot on which we stood
is highly cultivated； and forms a part of the garden of the Blasehek villa。
There； early in the eighties； as the guest of the hospitable Herr Blasehek；
Professor Ernst Haeckel botanised a week； on his way to Ceylon。 Now；
in response to a cry from his intended victim； an assassin might be
frustrated by assistance from a dozen bungalows； but at the time of which
I write； the victim； if he were wise； saved his breath for the struggle which
he knew he must make unaided。
Ragobah paused； and coolly bared his right arm to the elbow。 There
was a studied deliberation in his movements； which said only too plainly：
〃There is no hurry in killing you； for you cannot escape。〃 I grasped my
stick firmly as my only hope； and awaited his onslaught。 My early
military drill now stood me in good stead； and to it I owe my life。
Without the knowledge which I had derived from the use of the
broadsword； I should have been all but certain to have attempted to strike
him a downward blow upon the head。 This is just what he was expecting；
and it would have cost me my life。 He would have had only to throw up
his left arm to catch the blow； while with his right hand he plunged the
knife into my heart。 My experience had taught me how much easier it is
to protect one's self from a cutting blow than from a thrust； and I
determined to adopt this latter means of assault。 Ragobah advanced upon
me slowly； much as a cat steals upon an unsuspecting bird。 I raised my
stick as if to strike him； and he instinctively threw up his left arm； and
advanced upon me。 My opportunity had come； I lowered the point of my
cane to the level of his face； and made a vigorous lunge forward； throwing
my whole weight upon the thrust。 As nearly as I could tell； the point of
my stick caught him in the socket of the left eye； just as he sprang forward；
and hurled him backward； blinded and stupefied。 Before he had
recovered sufficiently to protect himself； I dealt him a blow upon the head
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that brought him quickly to the earth。 Without stopping to ascertain
whether or not I had killed him； I fled precipitately to my lodgings； hastily
packed my belongings； and set out for Matheron Station by the same train
I had so fondly believed would convey Lona and me to our nuptial altar。
Words cannot describe the suffering I endured upon that journey。 For the
first time since my terrible desertion I had an opportunity to think； and I
did think； if the pulse of an overwhelming pain； perpetually recurring like
the beat of a loaded wheel； can be called thought。 Although there is no
insanity in our family nearer than a great…uncle； I marvel that I retained my
wits under this terrible blow。 I seriously contemplated suicide； and
probably should have taken my life had not my mental condition gradually
undergone a change。 I was no longer conscious of suffering； nor of a
desire to end my life。 I was simply indifferent。 It was all one to me
whether I lived or died。 The power of loving or caring for anything or
anybody had entirely left me； and when I would reflect how utterly
indifferent I was even to my own father and mother； I would regard myself
as an unnatural monster。 I tried to conceal my lack of affection by a
greater attention to their wishes； and it was in this way that I yielded；
without remonstrance； to those same views regarding my marriage； to
which； but a little while before； I had made such strenuous objections as to
quite enrage my father。 I was an only child； and （as often happens
