the darrow enigma(达罗之迷)-第28章
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me； I felt much dissatisfied with Lona； for I thought such a course
unworthy of her。 As I saw more of her I noted still greater changes in her
character。 As I had known her from childhood； she had been most
uniform in her temper and her conduct； now all this was changed。 To…
day； perhaps； she would be like her old self； …=20 only weaker and more
fragile； … to…morrow a new being entirely； stronger and more restless； with
a demoniac light in her eyes； and a sort of feverish malignancy dominating
her whole personality。 When I noticed this I studied to avoid her。 If the
Lona I had known were merely an ideal of which no actual prototype
existed； I wished to be allowed to cherish that ideal rather than to have it
cruelly shattered to make room for the real Lona。 I had not seen her for
many weeks when one day； to my surprise； I received a note from her。 It
was short； and so impressed me that I can remember every word of it。
〃My DEAR COUSIN：
〃I send this note to you by Kandia that you may get it before it is too
late for you to do what I wish。 I am a caged bird in my husband's house。
My every movement is watched； and they would not let you come to me
were my husband at home； so； I beseech you； come at once lest he should
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return before I have had time to intrust to you my last request。 I am
dying； Moro； and it is within your power to say whether my spirit shall
rest in peace； or be torn forever and ever by the fangs of a horrible regret。
My secret is as lead upon my soul and to you only can I tell it。 Come …
come at once！
〃LONA。〃
You can imagine the effect of this revelation upon me better than I can
describe it。 I did not even know she was seriously ill； and with her
urgent request for an interview came the sad tidings that she was dying；
and the confirmation of my fear … that she had adopted the religion of her
English lover。 I lost no time in going to her。 I found her in a state of
feverish expectation； fearful lest I should either not be able to come at all；
or her husband would return before my arrival。 She was worn to a
shadow of her former self； and I realised with a pang that she was indeed
dying。
〃I knew I could depend upon you； Moro；〃 she said as I entered； 〃even
though you think I have lost all claim upon your regard。 I said to myself；
'He will come because of the respect he once had for me；' and I was right。
Yes；〃 she continued； noticing my astonishment at the change in her
condition； 〃I am almost gone。 I should not have lasted so long； were it
not that I could not die till I had spoken。 Now I shall be free to go； and the
horrible struggle will be over。 You have been much among the English；
Moro； both here and in England； and know they believe they will meet
again in heaven those they have loved on earth。〃
She sank back exhausted from excitement and effort； as she said this；
and I feared for a moment she would be unable to proceed。 I told her
what I knew about the Christian's hope of heaven； and suggested to her
that； as her husband might return at any moment； she had best confide to
me at once any trust with which she wished to charge me。 For a moment
she made no reply； but said at length：
〃Yes； you are right。 It is not a very long story； and I suppose I had
better begin at the beginning。 You remember well my being rescued by
an English gentleman； a Mr。 John Darrow。 I afterward became well
acquainted； … in fact we were to be married。 To this union my parents
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strongly objected。 They had promised me to Rama Ragobah； and were
horrified at my seeking to outrage the laws of caste by bestowing my hand
not only outside of my station but upon a foreigner and Christian as well。
This had only the effect of causing me to meet the Sahib secretly。 We
chose for our meeting…place the great banyan on the top of Malabar Hill；
where I passed the happiest moments I have ever known。 Everything went
well until the night on which we had planned to run away。 We were to
meet at the usual place and hour； take the night train for Matheron Station；
and there be married。
〃My heart bounded with joy as I climbed Malabar Hill on that fatal
evening； but my delight was of short duration。 In my fear lest I should
keep my lover waiting I must have arrived fully fifteen minutes before the
appointed time。 I was standing with my back against the banyan tree；
awaiting the first sound of his approach； when my attention was attracted
by what seemed to be two little balls of fire shining from a clump of
bushes almost directly in front of me。 They seemed to burn with a lurid
and wicked glare； and； as my gaze became entangled by them； a tremor
ran through my frame and a cold sweat bathed my entire body。
Overcome by an unspeakable dread I made one last frantic effort to
withdraw my eyes； but could not。 Then gradually； by slow degrees； my
terror was succeeded by an over…whelming fascination。 I felt myself
drawn irresistibly toward the thicket。 Then came a vague sense of falling；
falling； falling； and I knew no more； at least for some little time。
〃The next thing I remember is seeing my lover stretch out his arms to
me； while I was inspired with an unaccountable hatred of him so bitter that
it left me mute and transfixed。 Then he sought to embrace me； and I
threw a young cobra； which； coiled in a wicker basket； had been placed in
my hand； full in his face。 I think； also； that I struck him； and then ran
down the hill and straight to the house of Ragobah。 What happened
during the next few months I know not。 I seemed to have been in a
continual sleep full of dreams。 When I awoke I seemed conscious that I
had dreamt； but could not tell of what。 You can imagine my horror； my
despair； when I was first addressed as Ragobah's wife。 I denied the
relation； but everyone told me the same story … I was Ragobah Sahibah。
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This shock； coming as it did with the memory of my conduct that terrible
night on Malabar Hill； nearly killed me； and was followed by another long
period of the dream existence。 I began to think I was a sufferer from
some terrible brain disease； and to doubt which was my real existence； the
dreams or the waking moments。
〃One day when； for the first time in several weeks； I was in possession
of my normal faculties； Ragobah came into my room and sat down beside
me。 I arose instantly and fled to the farther corner of the apartment。 He
pursued me and sought to conquer my all too apparent aversion for him by
terms of endearment； but the more he pressed his sui
