classic mystery and detective stories-第74章

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speak　rather　more　earnestly　than　usual；　when　suddenly　she　turned　to

me　and　exclaimed　in　a　lower　voice：



〃'I　am　willing　to　credit　anything　you　say；　only　pray　don't　continue

talking　to　me　so　earnestly。'



〃'Why　not？'　I　asked；　surprised。



〃She　looked　at　me　with　peculiar　significance；　but　remained　silent。



〃'May　I　ask　why　not？'　I　asked。



〃'Because；　if　you　do；　somebody　may　be　jealous。'　　There　was　a

laughing　defiance　in　her　eye　as　she　spoke。



〃'And　pray；　who　has　a　right　to　be　jealous　of　me？'



〃'Oh！　you　know　well　enough。'



〃It　was　true；　I　did　know；　and　she　knew　that　I　knew　it。　　To　my　shame

be　it　said　that　I　was　weak　enough　to　yield　to　an　equivocation　which

I　now　see　to　have　been　disloyal；　but　which　I　then　pretended　to　have

been　no　more　than　delicacy　to　Ottilie。　　As；　in　point　of　fact；　there

had　never　been　a　word　passed　between　us　respecting　our　mutual

feelings；　I　considered　myself　bound　in　honor　to　assume　that　there

was　nothing　tacitly　acknowledged。



〃Piqued　by　her　tone　and　look；　I　disavowed　the　existence　of　any

claims　upon　my　attention；　and　to　prove　the　sincerity　of　my　words；　I

persisted　in　addressing　my　attentions　to　her。　　Once　or　twice　I

fancied　I　caught　flying　glances；　in　which　some　of　the　company

criticised　my　conduct；　and　Ottilie　also　seemed　to　me　unusually

quiet。　　But　her　manner；　though　quiet；　was　untroubled　and　unchanged。

I　talked　less　to　her　than　usual；　partly　because　I　talked　so　much　to

Agalma；　and　partly　because　I　felt　that　Agalma's　eyes　were　on　us。

But　no　shadow　of　'temper'　or　reserve　darkened　our　interchange　of

speech。



〃On　our　way　back；　I　know　not　what　devil　prompted　me　to　ask　Agalma

whether　she　had　really　been　in　earnest　in　her　former　allusion　to

'somebody。'



〃'Yes；'　she　said；　'I　was　in　earnest　then。'



〃'And　now？'



〃'Now　I　have　doubts。　　I　may　have　been　misinformed。　　It's　no　concern

of　mine；　anyway；　but　I　had　been　given　to　understand。　　However；　I

admit　that　my　own　eyes　have　not　confirmed　what　my　ears　heard。'



〃This　speech　was　irritating　on　two　separate　grounds。　　It　implied

that　people　were　talking　freely　of　my　attachment；　which；　until　I

had　formally　acknowledged　it；　I　resented　as　an　impertinence；　and　it

implied　that；　from　personal　observation；　Agalma　doubted　Ottilie's

feelings　for　me。　　This　alarmed　my　quick…retreating　pride！　　I；　too；

began　to　doubt。　　Once　let　loose　on　that　field；　imagination　soon　saw

shapes　enough　to　confirm　any　doubt。　　Ottilie's　manner　certainly　had

seemed　less　tendernay；　somewhat　indifferentduring　the　last　few

days。　　Had　the　arrival　of　that　heavy　lout；　her　cousin；　anything　to

do　with　this　change？



〃Not　to　weary　you　by　recalling　all　the　unfolding　stages　of　this

miserable　story　with　the　minuteness　of　detail　which　my　own　memory

morbidly　lingers　on；　I　will　hurry　to　the　catastrophe。　　I　grew　more

and　more　doubtful　of　the　existence　in　Ottilie's　mind　of　any　feeling

stronger　than　friendship　for　me；　and　as　this　doubt　strengthened；

there　arose　the　flattering　suspicion　that　I　was　becoming　an　object

of　greater　interest　to　Agalma；　who　had　quite　changed　her　tone

towards　me；　and　had　become　serious　in　her　speech　and　manner。　　Weeks

passed。　　Ottilie　had　fallen　from　her　pedestal；　and　had　taken　her

place　among　agreeable　acquaintances。　　One　day　I　suddenly　learned

that　Ottilie　was　engaged　to　her　cousin。



〃You　will　not　wonder　that　Agalma；　who　before　this　had　exercised

great　fascination　over　me；　now　doubly　became　an　object　of　the　most

tender　interest。　　I　fell　madly　in　love。　　Hitherto　I　had　never　known

that　passion。　　My　feeling　for　Ottilie　I　saw　was　but　the

inarticulate　stammerings　of　the　mighty　voice　which　now　sounded

throught　the　depths　of　my　nature。　　The　phrase；　madly　in　love；　is　no

exaggeration；　madness　alone　knows　such　a　fever　of　the　brain；　such　a

tumult　of　the　heart。　　It　was　not　that　reason　was　overpowered；　on

the　contrary；　reason　was　intensely　active；　but　active　with　that

logic　of　flames　which　lights　up　the　vision　of　maniacs。



〃Although；　of　course；　my　passion　was　but　too　evident　to　every　one；

I　dreaded　its　premature　avowal；　lest　I　should　lose　her；　and　almost

equally　dreaded　delay；　lest　I　should　suffer　from　that　also。　　At

length　the　avowal　was　extorted　from　me　by　jealousy　of　a　brilliant

PoleKorinskiwho　had　recently　appeared　in　our　circle；　and　was

obviously　casting　me　in　the　shade　by　his　superior　advantages　of

novelty；　of　personal　attraction；　and　of　a　romantic　history。　　She

accepted　me；　and　now；　for　a　time；　I　was　the　happiest　of　mortals。

The　fever　of　the　last　few　weeks　was　abating；　it　gave　place　to　a

deep　tide　of　hopeful　joy。　　Could　I　have　died　then！　　Could　I　have

even　died　shortly　afterwards；　when　I　knew　the　delicious　mystery　of

a　jealousy　not　too　absorbing！　　For　you　must　know　that　my　happiness

was　brief。　　Jealousy；　to　which　all　passion　of　a　deep　and　exacting

power　is　inevitably　allied；　soon　began　to　disturb　my　content。

Agalma　had　no　tenderness。　　She　permitted　caresses；　never　returned

them。　　She　was　ready　enough　to　listen　to　all　my　plans　for　the

future；　so　long　as　the　recital　moved　amid　details　of　fortune　and

her　position　in　societythat　is；　so　long　as　her　vanity　was

interested；　but　I　began　to　observe　with　pain　that　her　thoughts

never　rested　on　tender　domesticities　and　poetic　anticipations。

This　vexed　me　more　and　more。　　The　very　spell　which　she　exercised

over　me　made　her　want　of　tenderness　more　intolerable。　　I　yearned

for　her　lovefor　some　sympathy　with　the　vehement　passion　which　was

burning　within　me；　and　she　was　as　marble。



〃You　will　not　be　surprised　to　hear　that　I　reproached　her　bitterly

for　her　indifference。　　That　is　the　invariable　and　fatal　folly　of

loversthey　seem　to　imagine　that　a　heart　can　be　scolded　into

tenderness！　　To　my　reproaches　she　at　first　answered　impatiently

that　they　were　unjust；　that　it　was　not　her　fault　if　her　nature　was

less　expansive　than　mine；　and　that　it　was　insulting　to　be　told　she

was　indifferent　to　the　man　whom　she　had　consented　to　marry。　　Later

she　answered　my　reproaches　with　haughty　defiance；　one　day

intimating　that　if　I　really　thought　what　I　said；　and　repented　our

engagement；　it　would　be　most　prudent　for　us　to　separate　ere　it　was

too　late。　　This　quieted　me　for　a　while。　　But　it　brought　no　balm　to

my　wounds。



〃And　now　fresh　tortures　were　added。　　Korinski　became　quite　marked

in　his　attentions　to　Agalma。　　These　she　received　with　evident

delight；　so　much　so；　that　I　saw　by　the　glances　of　others　that　they

were　scandalized　at　it；　and　this；　of　course；　increased　my　pain。　　My

renewed　reproaches　only　made　her　manner　colder　to　me；　to　Korinski

it　became　what　I　would　gladly　have　seen　towards　myself。



〃The　stress　and　agitation　of　those　days　were　too　much　for　me。　　I

fell　ill；　and　for　seven　weeks　lay　utterly　prostrate。　　On

recovering；　this　note　was　handed　to　me。　　It　was　from　Agalma。〃



Bourgonef　here　held　out　to　me　a　crumpled　letter；　and　motioned　that

I　should　open　it　and　read。　　It　ran　thus：





〃I　have　thought　much　of　what　you　have　so　often　said；　that　it　would

be　for　the　happiness　of　both　if　our　unfortunate　engagement　were　set

aside。　　That　you　have　a　real　affection　for　me　I　believe；　and　be

assured　that　I　once　had　a　real　affection　for　you；　not；　perhaps；　the

passionate　love　which　a　nature　so　exacting　as　yours　demands；　and

which　I　earnestly　hope　it　may　one　day　find；　but　a　genuine　affection

nevertheless；　which　would　have　made　me　proud　to　share　your　lot。

But　it　would　be　uncandid　in　me　to　pretend　that　this　now　exists。

Your　incessant　jealousy；　the　angry　feelings　excited　by　your

reproaches；　the　fretful　irritation　in　which　for　some　time　we　have

lived　together；　has　completely　killed　what　love　I　had；　and　I　no

longer　feel　prepared　to　risk　the　happiness　of　both　of　us　by　a

marriage。　　What　you　said　the　other　night　convinces　me　that　it　is

even　your　desire　our　engagement　should　cease。　　It　is　certainly

mine。　　Let　us　try　to　think　kindly　of　each　other　and　meet　again　as

friends。



AGALMA