the lion and the unicorn-第4章

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end？　　She　knows　how　I　care；　and　yet　she　won't　see　why　we
can't　go　on　being　friends　as　we　once　were。　　What's　the　use　of　it
all？　〃

〃She　is　young；　I　tell　you；〃　repeated　Miss　Cavendish；　〃and　she's
too　sure　of　you。　　You've　told　her　you　care；　now　try　making　her
think　you　don't　care。〃

Carroll　shook　his　head　impatiently。

〃I　will　not　stoop　to　such　tricks　and　pretence；　Marion；〃　he　cried
impatiently。　　〃All　I　have　is　my　love　for　her；　if　I　have　to　cheat
and　to　trap　her　into　caring；　the　whole　thing　would　be　degraded。〃

Miss　Cavendish　shrugged　her　shoulders　and　walked　to　the　door。　
〃Such　amateurs！〃　she　exclaimed；　and　banged　the　door　after　her。

Carroll　never　quite　knew　how　he　had　come　to　make　a　confidante　of
Miss　Cavendish。　　Helen　and　he　had　met　her　when　they　first　arrived
in　London；　and　as　she　had　acted　for　a　season　in　the　United
States；　she　adopted　the　two　Americansand　told　Helen　where　to　go
for　boots　and　hats；　and　advised　Carroll　about　placing　his　plays。　
Helen　soon　made　other　friends；　and　deserted　the　artists；　with
whom　her　work　had　first　thrown　her。　　She　seemed　to　prefer　the
society　of　the　people　who　bought　her　paintings；　and　who
admired　and　made　much　of　the　painter。　　As　she　was　very　beautiful
and　at　an　age　when　she　enjoyed　everything　in　life　keenly　and
eagerly；　to　give　her　pleasure　was　in　itself　a　distinct
pleasure；　and　the　worldly　tired　people　she　met　were　considering
their　own　entertainment　quite　as　much　as　hers　when　they　asked　her
to　their　dinners　and　dances；　or　to　spend　a　week　with　them　in　the
country。　　In　her　way；　she　was　as　independent　as　was　Carroll　in
his；　and　as　she　was　not　in　love；　as　he　was；　her　life　was　not
narrowed　down　to　but　one　ideal。　　But　she　was　not　so　young　as　to
consider　herself　infallible；　and　she　had　one　excellent　friend　on
whom　she　was　dependent　for　advice　and　to　whose　directions　she
submitted　implicitly。　　This　was　Lady　Gower；　the　only　person　to
whom　Helen　had　spoken　of　Carroll　and　of　his　great　feeling　for
her。　　Lady　Gower；　immediately　after　her　marriage；　had　been　a
conspicuous　and　brilliant　figure　in　that　set　in　London　which
works　eighteen　hours　a　day　to　keep　itself　amused；　but　after　the
death　of　her　husband　she　had　disappeared　into　the　country　as
completely　as　though　she　had　entered　a　convent；　and　after
several　years　had　then　re…entered　the　world　as　a　professional
philanthropist。　　Her　name　was　now　associated　entirely　with
Women's　Leagues；　with　committees　that　presented　petitions　to
Parliament；　and　with　public　meetings；　at　which　she　spoke　with
marvellous　ease　and　effect。　　Her　old　friends　said　she　had　taken
up　this　new　pose　as　an　outlet　for　her　nervous　energies；　and　as　an
effort　to　forget　the　man　who　alone　had　made　life　serious　to　her。　
Others　knew　her　as　an　earnest　woman；　acting　honestly　for　what　she
thought　was　right。　　Her　success；　all　admitted；　was　due　to　her
knowledge　of　the　world　and　to　her　sense　of　humor；　which　taught
her　with　whom　to　use　her　wealth　and　position；　and　when　to　demand
what　she　wanted　solely　on　the　ground　that　the　cause　was　just。

She　had　taken　more　than　a　fancy　for　Helen；　and　the　position　of
the　beautiful；　motherless　girl　had　appealed　to　her　as　one　filled
with　dangers。　　When　she　grew　to　know　Helen　better；　she　recognized
that　these　fears　were　quite　unnecessary；　and　as　she　saw　more　of
her　she　learned　to　care　for　her　deeply。　　Helen　had　told　her　much
of　Carroll　and　of　his　double　purpose　in　coming　to　London；　of
his　brilliant　work　and　his　lack　of　success　in　having　it
recognized；　and　of　his　great　and　loyal　devotion　to　her；　and　of
his　lack　of　success；　not　in　having　that　recognized；　but　in　her
own　inability　to　return　it。　　Helen　was　proud　that　she　had　been
able　to　make　Carroll　care　for　her　as　he　did；　and　that　there　was
anything　about　her　which　could　inspire　a　man　whom　she　admired　so
much；　to　believe　in　her　so　absolutely　and　for　so　long　a　time。　
But　what　convinced　her　that　the　outcome　for　which　he　hoped　was
impossible；　was　the　very　fact　that　she　could　admire　him；　and　see
how　fine　and　unselfish　his　love　for　her　was；　and　yet　remain
untouched　by　it。

She　had　been　telling　Lady　Gower　one　day　of　the　care　he　had　taken
of　her　ever　since　she　was　fourteen　years　of　age；　and　had　quoted
some　of　the　friendly　and　loverlike　acts　he　had　performed　in　her
service；　until　one　day　they　had　both　found　out　that　his　attitude
of　the　elder　brother　was　no　longer　possible；　and　that　he　loved
her　in　the　old　and　only　way。　　Lady　Gower　looked　at　her　rather
doubtfully　and　smiled。

〃I　wish　you　would　bring　him　to　see　me；　Helen〃　she　said；　〃I　think
I　should　like　your　friend　very　much。　　From　what　you　tell　me　of
him　I　doubt　if　you　will　find　many　such　men　waiting　for　you　in
this　country。　　Our　men　marry　for　reasons　of　property；　or　they
love　blindly；　and　are　exacting　and　selfish　before　and　after　they
are　married。　　I　know；　because　so　many　women　came　to　me　when　my
husband　was　alive　to　ask　how　it　was　that　I　continued　so　happy　in
my　married　life。〃

〃But　I　don't　want　to　marry　any　one；〃　Helen　remonstrated　gently。　
〃American　girls　are　not　always　thinking　only　of　getting　married。〃

〃What　I　meant　was　this；〃　said　Lady　Gower；　〃that；　in　my
experience；　I　have　heard　of　but　few　men　who　care　in　the　way　this
young　man　seems　to　care　for　you。　　You　say　you　do　not　love　him；
but　if　he　had　wanted　to　gain　my　interest；　he　could　not　have
pleaded　his　cause　better　than　you　have　done。　　He　seems　to　see
your　faults　and　yet　love　you　still；　in　spite　of　themor　on
account　of　them。　　And　I　like　the　things　he　does　for　you。　　I　like；
for　instance；　his　sending　you　the　book　of　the　moment　every
week　for　two　years。　　That　shows　a　most　unswerving　spirit　of
devotion。　　And　the　story　of　the　broken　bridge　in　the　woods　is　a
wonderful　story。　　If　I　were　a　young　girl；　I　could　love　a　man　for
that　alone。　　It　was　a　beautiful　thing　to　do。〃

Helen　sat　with　her　chin　on　her　hands；　deeply　considering　this　new
point　of　view。

〃I　thought　it　very　foolish　of　him；〃　she　confessed　questioningly；
〃to　take　such　a　risk　for　such　a　little　thing。〃

Lady　Gower　smiled　down　at　her　from　the　height　of　her　many　years。

〃Wait；〃　she　said　dryly；　〃you　are　very　young　nowand　very　rich；
every　one　is　crowding　to　give　you　pleasure；　to　show　his
admiration。　　You　are　a　very　fortunate　girl。　　But　later；　these
things　which　some　man　has　done　because　he　loved　you；　and　which
you　call　foolish；　will　grow　large　in　your　life；　and　shine　out
strongly；　and　when　you　are　discouraged　and　alone；　you　will　take
them　out；　and　the　memory　of　them　will　make　you　proud　and　happy。　
They　are　the　honors　which　women　wear　in　secret。〃

Helen　came　back　to　town　in　September；　and　for　the　first　few　days
was　so　occupied　in　refurnishing　her　studio　and　in　visiting　the
shops　that　she　neglected　to　send　Carroll　word　of　her　return。　
When　she　found　that　a　whole　week　had　passed　without　her　having
made　any　effort　to　see　him；　and　appreciated　how　the　fact　would
hurt　her　friend；　she　was　filled　with　remorse；　and　drove　at　once
in　great　haste　to　Jermyn　Street；　to　announce　her　return　in
person。　　On　the　way　she　decided　that　she　would　soften　the　blow　of
her　week　of　neglect　by　asking　him　to　take　her　out　to　luncheon。　
This　privilege　she　had　once　or　twice　accorded　him；　and　she　felt
that　the　pleasure　these　excursions　gave　Carroll　were　worth　the
consternation　they　caused　to　Lady　Gower。

The　servant　was　uncertain　whether　Mr。　Carroll　was　at　home　or　not；
but　Helen　was　too　intent　upon　making　restitution　to　wait　for　the
fact　to　be　determined；　and；　running　up　the　stairs；　knocked
sharply　at　the　door　of　his　study。

A　voice　bade　her　come　in；　and　she　entered；　radiant　and　smiling
her　welcome。　　But　Carroll　was　not　there　to　receive　it；　and
instead；　Marion　Cavendish　looked　up　at　her　from　his　desk　where
she　was　busily　writing。　　Helen　paused　with　a　surprised　laugh；　but
Marion　sprang　up　and　hailed　her　gladly。　　They　met　half　way　across
the　room　and　kissed　each　other　with　the　most　friendly　feeling。

Philip　was　out；　Marion　said；　and　she　had　just　stepped　in　for　a
moment　to　write　him　a　note。　　If　Helen　would　excuse　her；　she　would
finish　it；　as　she　was　late　for　rehearsal。

But　she　asked　over　her　shoulder；　with　great　interest；　if　Helen
had　passed　a　pleasant　summer。　　She　thou