the garden of allah-第12章
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and almost childish； feeling that she was putting the broad sea
between herself and it。 Yet before she had started it had been buried
in the grave。 She never wished to behold such truth again。 She wanted
to look upon some other truth of lifethe truth of beauty； of calm；
of freedom。 Lord Rens had always been a slave； the slave of love； most
of all when he was filled with hatred； and Domini； influenced by his
example； instinctively connected love with a chain。 Only the love a
human being has for God seemed to her sometimes the finest freedom；
the movement of the soul upward into the infinite obedient to the call
of the great Liberator。 The love of man for woman； of woman for man；
she thought of as imprisonment； bondage。 Was not her mother a slave to
the man who had wrecked her life and carried her spirit beyond the
chance of heaven？ Was not her father a slave to her mother？ She shrank
definitely from the contemplation of herself loving； with all the
strength she suspected in her heart； a human being。 In her religion
only she had felt in rare moments something of love。 And now here； in
this tremendous and conquering land； she felt a divine stirring in her
love for Nature。 For that afternoon Nature； so often calm and
meditative； or gently indifferent； as one too complete to be aware of
those who lack completeness； had impetuously summoned her to worship；
had ardently appealed to her for something more than a temperate
watchfulness or a sober admiration。 There had been a most definite
demand made upon her。 Even in her fatigue and in this dreamy twilight
she was conscious of a latent excitement that was not lulled to sleep。
And as she sat there； while the darkness grew in the sky and spread
secretly along the sandy rills among the trees； she wondered how much
she held within her to give in answer to this cry to her of self…
confident Nature。 Was it only a little？ She did not know。 Perhaps she
was too tired to know。 But however much it was it must seem meagre。
What is even a woman's heart given to the desert or a woman's soul to
the sea？ What is the worship of anyone to the sunset among the hills；
or to the wind that lifts all the clouds from before the face of the
moon？
A chill stole over Domini。 She felt like a very poor woman； who can
never know the joy of giving； because she does not possess even a
mite。
The church bell chimed again among the palms。 Domini heard voices
quite clearly below her under the arcade。 A French cafe was installed
there； and two or three soldiers were taking their /aperitif/ before
dinner out in the air。 They were talking of France； as people in exile
talk of their country； with the deliberateness that would conceal
regret and the child's instinctive affection for the mother。 Their
voices made Domini think again of the recruits； and then； because of
them； of Notre Dame de la Garde； the mother of God； looking towards
Africa。 She remembered the tragedy of her last confession。 Would she
be able to confess here to the Father whom she had seen strolling in
the tunnel？ Would she learn to know here what she really was？
How warm it was in the night； and how warmth； as it develops the
fecundity of the earth； develops also the possibilities in many men
and women。 Despite her lassitude of body； which kept her motionless as
an idol in her chair； with her arm lying along the parapet of the
verandah； Domini felt as if a confused crowd of things indefinable；
but violent； was already stirring within her nature； as if this new
climate was calling armed men into being。 Could she not hear the
murmur of their voices； the distant clashing of their weapons？
Without being aware of it she was dropping into sleep。 The sound of a
footstep on the wooden floor of the verandah recalled her。 It was at
some distance behind her。 It crossed the verandah and stopped。 She
felt quite certain that it was the step of her fellow…traveller； not
because she knew he was staying in the hotel； but rather because of
the curious； uneven heaviness of the tread。
What was he doing？ Looking over the parapet into the fruit gardens；
where the white figures of the Arabs were flitting through the trees？
He was perfectly silent。 Domini was now wide awake。 The feeling of
calm serenity had left her。 She was nervously troubled by this
presence near her； and swiftly recalled the few trifling incidents of
the day which had begun to delineate a character for her。 They were；
she found； all unpleasant； all； at least； faintly disagreeable。 Yet；
in sum； what was their meaning？ The sketch they traced was so slight；
so confused； that it told little。 The last incident was the strangest。
And again she saw the long and luminous pathway of the tunnel；
flickering with light and shade； carpeted with the pale reflections of
the leaves and narrow branches of the trees； the black figure of the
priest far down it； and the tall form of the stranger in an attitude
of painful hesitation。 Each time she had seen him； apparently desirous
of doing something definite； hesitation had overtaken him。 In his
indecision there was something horrible to her； something alarming。
She wished he was not standing behind her； and her discomfort
increased。 She could still hear the voices of the soldiers in the
cafe。 Perhaps he was listening to them。 They sounded louder。
The speakers were getting up from their seats。 There was a jingling of
spurs； a tramp of feet； and the voices died away。 The church bell
chimed again。 As it did so Domini heard heavy and uneven steps cross
the verandah hurriedly。 An instant later she heard a window shut
sharply。
〃Suzanne！〃 she called。
Her maid appeared； yawning； with various parcels in her hands。
〃Yes； Mademoiselle。〃
〃I sha'n't go down to the /salle…a…manger/ to…night。 Tell them to give
me some dinner in my /salon/。〃
〃Yes； Mademoiselle。〃
〃You did not see who was on the verandah just now？〃
The maid looked surprised。
〃I was in Mademoiselle's room。〃
〃Yes。 How near the church is。〃
〃Mademoiselle will have no difficulty in getting to Mass。 She will not
be obliged to go among all the Arabs。〃
Domini smiled。
〃I have come here to be among the Arabs； Suzanne。〃
〃The porter of the omnibus tells me they are dirty and very dangerous。
They carry knives； and their clothes are full of fleas。〃
〃You will feel quite differently about them in the morning。 Don't
forget about dinner。〃
〃I will speak about it at once； Mademoiselle。〃
Suzanne disappeared； walking as one who suspects an ambush。
After dinner Domini went again to the verandah。 She found Batouch
there。 He had now folded a snow…white turban round his head； and
looked like a young high priest of some ornate religion。 He suggested
that Domini should come out with him to visit the Rue des Ouled Nails
and see the strange dances of the Sahara。 But she declined。
〃Not to…night； Batouch。 I must go to bed。 I haven't slept for two
nights。〃
〃But I do not sleep； Madame。 In the night I compose verses。 My brain
is alive。 My heart is on fire。〃
〃Yes； but I am not a poet。 Besides； I may be here for a long time。 I
shall have many evenings to see the dances。〃
The poet looked displeased。
〃The gentleman is going；〃 he said。 〃Hadj is at the door waiting for
him now。 But Hadj is afraid when he enters the street of the dancers。〃
〃Why？〃
〃There is a girl there who wishes to kill him。 Her name is Aishoush。
She was sent away from Beni…Mora for six months； but she has come
back； and after all this time she still wishes to kill Hadj。〃
〃What has he done to her？〃
〃He has not loved her。 Yes； Hadj is afraid； but he will go with the
gentleman because he must earn money to buy a costume for the /fete/
of Ramadan。 I also wish to buy a new costume。〃
He looked at Domini with a dignified plaintiveness。 His pose against
the pillar of the verandah was superb。 Over his blue cloth jacket he
had thrown a thin white burnous； which hung round him in classic
folds。 Domini could scarcely believe that so magnificent a creature
was touting for a franc。 The idea certainly did occur to her； but she
banished it。 For she was a novice in Africa。
〃I am too tired to go out to…night；〃 she said decisi
