carson mccullers - the heart is a lonely hunter-第68章

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The　heat　was　suffocating　him。　He　wanted　to　get　out。　A　film　
seemed　to　have　settled　over　his　eyeballs　so　that　all　the　faces　
around　him　were　blurred。　
Across　the　room　Willie　was　playing　his　harp。　Buddy　and　
Highboy　were　listening。　The　music　was　dark　and　sad。　When　
the　song　was　finished　Willie　polished　his　harp　on　the　front　of　
his　shirt。　'I　so　hungry　and　thirsty　the　slobber　in　my　mouth　done　
wet　out　the　tune。　I　certainly　will　be　glad　to　taste　some　of　that　
boogie…woogie。　To　have　something　good　to　drink　is　the　only　
thing　m…made　me　forget　this　misery。　If　I　just　knowed　where　
my　f…feets　are　now　and　could　drink　a　glass　of　gin　ever　night　I　
wouldn't　mind　so　much。'　
'Don't　fret；　Hon。　You　going　to　have　something；'　Portia　said。　
'Mr。　Blount；　would　you　care　to　take　a　peach　puff　and　a　glass　of　
wine？'　
'Thanks；'　Jake　said。　'That　would　be　good。'　


Quickly　Portia　laid　a　cloth　on　the　table　and　set　down　one　plate
and　a　fork。　She　poured　a　large　tumblerful　of　the　wine。　'You
just　make　yourself　comfortable　here。　And　if　you　don't　mind　
I
going　to　serve　the　others。
'
The　fruit　jars　were　passed　from　mouth　to　mouth。　Before
Highboy　passed　a　jar　to　Willie　he　borrowed　Portia's　lipstick
and　drew　a　red　line　to　set　the　boundary　of　the　drink。　There
were　gurgling　noises　and　laughter。　Jake　finished　his　puff　and
carried　his　glass　back　with　him　to　his　place　between　the　two
old　men。　The　home…made　wine　was　rich　and　strong　as　brandy。
Willie　started　a　low　dolorous　tune　on　his　harp。　Portia　snapped
her　fingers　and　shuffled　around　the　room。
Jake　turned　to　Marshall　Nicolls。　*You　say　Portia's　father　is　
a
doctor？
'
〃Yes；　sir。　Yes；　indeed。　A　skilled　doctor。'252


'What's　the　matter　with　him？
'
The　two　Negroes　glanced　warily　at　each　other。
'He　were　in　an　accident；'　said　John　Roberts。
'What　kind　of　an　accident？
'
'A　bad　one。　A　deplorable　one。
'
Marshall　Nicolls　folded　and　unfolded　his　silk　handkerchief。
'As　we　were　remarking　a　while　ago；　it　is　important　not　to
impair　these　amicable　relations　but　to　promote　them　in　all
ways　earnestly　possible。　We　members　of　the　colored　race
must　strive　in　all　ways　to　uplift　our　citizens。　The　Doctor　in
yonder　has　strived　in　every　way。　But　sometimes　it　has　seemed
to　me　like　he　had　not　recognized　fully　enough　certain
elements　of　the　different　races　and　the　situation。
'
Impatiently　Jake　gulped　down　the　last　swallows　of　his　wine。
'Christ'　sake；　man；　speak　out　plain；　because　I　can't　understand
a　thing　you　say。
'
Marshall　Nicolls　and　John　Roberts　exchanged　a　hurt　look。
Across　the　room　Willie　still　sat　playing　music。　His　lips
crawled　over　the　square　holes　of　the　harmonica　like　fat；
puckered　caterpillars。　His　shoulders　were　broad　and　strong。
The　stumps　of　his　thighs　jerked　in　time　to　the　music。　Highboy
danced　while　Buddy　and　Portia　clapped　out　the　rhythm。
Jake　stood　up；　and　once　on　his　feet　he　realized　that　he　was
drunk。　He　staggered　and　then　glanced　vindictively　around



him；　but　no　one　seemed　to　have　noticed。　'Where's　Singer？'　he　
asked　Portia　thickly。　
The　music　stopped。　'Why；　Mr。　Blount；　I　thought　you　knowed　
he　was　gone。　While　you　were　sitting　at　the　table　with　your　
peach　puff　he　come　to　the　doorway　and　held　out　his　watch　to　
show　it　were　time　for　him　to　go。　You　looked　straight　at　him　
and　shaken　your　head。　I　thought　you　knowed　that。'　
'Maybe　I　was　thinking　about　something　else。'　He　turned　to　
Willie　and　said　angrily　to　him：　'I　never　did　even　get　to　tell　you　
what　I　come　here　for；　I　didn't　come　to　ask　you　to　do　anything。　
All　I　wanted—all　I　wanted　was　this。　You　and　the　other　boys　
were　to　testify　what　happened　and　I　was　to　explain　why。　Why　
is　the　only　important　thing—not　what。　I　would　have　pushed　
you　all　around　in　a　wagon　and　you　would　have　told　your　story　
and　afterward　I　would　have　ex

253　

plained　why。　And　maybe　it　might　have　meant　something。　
Maybe　it'　
He　felt　they　were　laughing　at　him。　Confusion　caused　him　to　
forget　what　he　had　meant　to　say。　The　room　was　full　of　dark；　
strange　faces　and　the　air　was　too　thick　to　breathe。　He　saw　a　
door　and　staggered　across　to　it。　He　was　in　a　dark　closet　
smelling　of　medicine。　Then　his　hand　was　turning　another　
doorknob。　
He　stood　on　the　threshold　of　a　small　white　room　furnished　
only　with　an　iron　bed；　a　cabinet；　and　two　chairs。　On　the　bed　
lay　the　terrible　Negro　he　had　met　on　the　stairs　at　Singer's　
house。　His　face　was　very　black　against　the　white；　stiff　pillows。　
The　dark　eyes　were　hot　with　hatred　but　the　heavy；　bluish　lips　
were　composed。　His　face　was　motionless　as　a　black　mask　
except　for　the　slow；　wide　flutters　of　his　nostrils　with　each　
breath。　
'Get　out；'　the　Negro　said。　
'Wait'　Jake　said　helplessly。　'Why　do　you　say　that？'　
'This　is　my　house。'　
Jake　could　not　draw　his　eyes　away　from　the　Negro's　terrible　
face。　'But　why？'　
'You　are　a　white　man　and　a　stranger。'　
Jake　did　not　leave。　He　walked　with　cumbersome　caution　to　


one　of　the　straight　white　chairs　and　seated　himself。　The　Negro　
moved　his　hands　on　the　counterpane。　His　black　eyes　glittered　
with　fever。　Jake　watched　him。　They　waited。　In　the　room　there　
was　a　feeling　tense　as　conspiracy　or　as　the　deadly　quiet　before　
an　explosion。　
It　was　long　past　midnight。　The　warm；　dark　air　of　the　spring　
morning　swirled　the　blue　layers　of　smoke　in　the　room。　On　the　
floor　were　crumpled　balls　of　paper　and　a　half…empty　bottle　of　
gin。　Scattered　ashes　were　gray　on　the　counterpane。　Doctor　
Copeland　pressed　his　head　tensely　into　the　pillow。　He　had　
removed　his　dressing…gown　and　the　sleeves　of　his　white　cotton　
nightshirt　were　rolled　to　the　elbow。　Jake　leaned　forward　in　his　
chair。　His　tie　was　loosened　and　the　collar　of　his　shirt　had　
wilted　with　sweat　Through　the　hours　there　had　grown　between　
them　a　long；　exhausting　dialogue。　And　now　a　pause　had　come。　
'So　the　time　is　ready　for'　Jake　began。254　

But　Doctor　Copeland　interrupted　him。　'Now　it　is　perhaps　
necessary　that　we'　he　murmured　huskily。　They　
halted。　Each　looked　into　the　eyes　of　the　other　and　waited。　'I　
beg　your　pardon；'　Doctor　Copeland　said。　
'Sorry；'　said　Jake。　'Go　on。'　
'No；　you　continue。'　
'Well'　Jake　said。　'I　won't　say　what　I　started　to　say。　
Instead　we'll　have　one　last　word　about　the　South。　The　
strangled　South。　The　wasted　South；　The　slavish　South。'　
'And　the　Negro　people。'　
To　steady　himself　Jake　swallowed　a　long；　burning　draught　
from　the　bottle　on　the　floor　beside　him。　Then　deliberately　he　
walked　to　the　cabinet　and　picked　up　a　small；　cheap　globe　of　
the　world　that　served　as　a　paperweight。　Slowly　he　turned　the　
sphere　in　his　hands。　'All　I　can　say　is　this：　The　world　is　full　of　
meanness　and　evil。　Huh！　Three　fourths　of　this　globe　is　in　a　
state　of　war　or　oppression。　The　liars　and　fiends　are　united　and　
the　men　who　know　are　isolated　and　without　defense。　But！　But　
if　you　was　to　ask　me　to　point　out　the　most　uncivilized　area　on　
the　face　of　this　globe　I　would　point　here'　
'Watch　sharp；'　said　Doctor　Copeland。　'You're　out　in　the　ocean。'　
Jake　turned　the　globe　again　and　pressed　his　blunt；　grimy　
thumb　on　a　carefully　selected　spot。　'Here。　These　thirteen　


states。　I　know　what　I'm　talking　about。　I　read　books　and　I　go　
around。　I　been　in　every　damn　one　of　these　thirteen　states。　I've　
worked　in　every　one。　And　the　reason　I　think　like　I　do　is　this：　
We　live　in　the　richest　country　in　the　world。　There's　plenty　and　
to　spare　for　no　man；　woman；　or　child　to　be　in　want。　And　in　
addition　to　this　our　country　was　founded　on　what　should　have　
been　a　great；　true　principle—the　freedom；　equality；　and　rights　
of　each　individual。　Huh！　And　what　has　come　of　that　start？　
There　are　corporations　worth　billions　of　dollars—and　
hundreds　of　thousands　of　people　who　don't　get　to　eat。　And　
here　in　these　thirteen　states　the　exploitation　of　human　beings　
is　so　that—that　it's　a　thing　you　got　to　take　in　with　your　own　
eyes。　In　my　life　I　seen　things　that　would　make　a　man　go　cra2y。　
At　least　one　third　of　all　Southerners　live　and　die　no　better　off　
than　the　lowest　peasant　in　any　European　Fascist　

255　

state。　The　average　wage　of　a　worker　on　a　tenant　farm　is　only　
seventy…three　dollars　per　year。　And　mind　you；　that's　the　
average！　The　wages　of　sharecroppers　run　from　thir