the essays of montaigne, v15-第14章
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too prompt。 To stay its flight and delay it with preambles： all things
a glance； a bow； a word； a sign； stand for favour and recompense betwixt
them。 Were it not an excellent piece of thrift in him who could dine on
the steam of the roast？ 'Tis a passion that mixes with very little solid
essence； far more vanity and feverish raving； and we should serve and pay
it accordingly。 Let us teach the ladies to set a better value and esteem
upon themselves； to amuse and fool us： we give the last charge at the
first onset； the French impetuosity will still show itself； by spinning
out their favours； and exposing them in small parcels； even miserable old
age itself will find some little share of reward； according to its worth
and merit。 He who has no fruition but in fruition； who wins nothing
unless he sweeps the stakes； who takes no pleasure in the chase but in
the quarry； ought not to introduce himself in our school： the more steps
and degrees there are； so much higher and more honourable is the
uppermost seat： we should take a pleasure in being conducted to it； as in
magnificent palaces； by various porticoes and passages； long and pleasant
galleries； and many windings。 This disposition of things would turn to
our advantage； we should there longer stay and longer love； without hope
and without desire we proceed not worth a pin。 Our conquest and entire
possession is what they ought infinitely to dread： when they wholly
surrender themselves up to the mercy of our fidelity and constancy they
run a mighty hazard； they are virtues very rare and hard to be found； the
ladies are no sooner ours； than we are no more theirs：
〃Postquam cupidae mentis satiata libido est；
Verba nihil metuere； nihil perjuria curant；〃
＇〃When our desires are once satisfied； we care little
for oaths and promises。〃Catullus； lxiv。 147。＇
And Thrasonides； a young man of Greece； was so in love with his passion
that； having； gained a mistress's consent； he refused to enjoy her； that
he might not by fruition quench and stupefy the unquiet ardour of which
he was so proud； and with which he so fed himself。 Dearness is a good
sauce to meat： do but observe how much the manner of salutation；
particular to our nation； has； by its facilities； made kisses； which
Socrates says are so powerful and dangerous for the stealing of hearts；
of no esteem。 It is a displeasing custom and injurious for the ladies；
that they must be obliged to lend their lips to every fellow who has
three footmen at his heels； however ill…favoured he may be in himself：
〃Cujus livida naribus caninis
Dependet glacies； rigetque barba 。 。 。
Centum occurrere malo culilingis：〃
Martial； vii。 94。
and we ourselves barely gain by it； for as the world is divided； for
three beautiful women we must kiss fifty ugly ones； and to a tender
stomach； like those of my age； an ill kiss overpays a good one。
In Italy they passionately court even their common women who sell
themselves for money； and justify the doing so by saying； 〃that there are
degrees of fruition； and that by such service they would procure for
themselves that which is most entire； the women sell nothing but their
bodies； the will is too free and too much of its own to be exposed to
sale。〃 So that these say； 'tis the will they undertake and they have
reason。 'Tis indeed the will that we are to serve and gain by wooing。
I abhor to imagine mine； a body without affection： and this madness is；
methinks； cousin…german to that of the boy who would needs pollute the
beautiful statue of Venus made by Praxiteles； or that of the furious
Egyptian； who violated the dead carcase of a woman he was embalming：
which was the occasion of the law then made in Egypt； that the corpses of
beautiful young women； of those of good quality； should be kept three
days before they should be delivered to those whose office it was to take
care for the interment。 Periander did more wonderfully； who extended his
conjugal affection （more regular and legitimate） to the enjoyment of his
wife Melissa after she was dead。 Does it not seem a lunatic humour in
the Moon； seeing she could no otherwise enjoy her darling Endymion； to
lay…him for several months asleep； and to please herself with the
fruition of a boy who stirred not but in his sleep？ I likewise say that
we love a body without a soul or sentiment when we love a body without
its consent and desire。 All enjoyments are not alike： there are some
that are hectic and languishing： a thousand other causes besides good…
will may procure us this favour from the ladies； this is not a sufficient
testimony of affection： treachery may lurk there； as well as elsewhere：
they sometimes go to't by halves：
〃Tanquam thura merumque parent
Absentem marmoreamve putes：〃
＇〃As if they are preparing frankincense and wine 。 。 。 you might
think her absent or marble。〃Martial； xi。 103； 12； and 59； 8。＇
I know some who had rather lend that than their coach； and who only
impart themselves that way。 You are to examine whether your company
pleases them upon any other account； or； as some strong…chined groom；
for that only； in what degree of favour and esteem you are with them：
〃Tibi si datur uni；
Quem lapide illa diem candidiore notat。〃
＇〃Wherefore that is enough； if that day alone is given us which she
marks with a whiter stone。〃Catullus； lxviii。 147。＇
What if they eat your bread with the sauce of a more pleasing
imagination。
〃Te tenet； absentes alios suspirat amores。〃
＇〃She has you in her arms； her thoughts are with
other absent lovers。〃Tibullus； i。 6； 35。＇
What？ have we not seen one in these days of ours who made use of this act
for the purpose of a most horrid revenge； by that means to kill and
poison； as he did； a worthy lady？
Such as know Italy will not think it strange if； for this subject； I seek
not elsewhere for examples； for that nation may be called the regent of
the world in this。 They have more generally handsome and fewer ugly
women than we； but for rare and excellent beauties we have as many as
they。 I think the same of their intellects： of those of the common sort；
they have evidently far more brutishness is immeasurably rarer there；
but in individual characters of the highest form； we are nothing indebted
to them。 If I should carry on the comparison； I might say； as touching
valour； that； on the contrary； it is； to what it is with them； common and
natural with us； but sometimes we see them possessed of it to such a
degree as surpasses the greatest examples we can produce： The marriages
of that country are defective in this； their custom commonly imposes so
rude and so slavish a law upon the women； that the most distant
acquaintance with a stranger is as capital an offence as the most
intimate； so that all approaches being rendered necessarily substantial；
and seeing that all comes to one account； they have no hard choice to
make； and when they have broken down the fence； we may safely presume
they get on fire：
〃Luxuria ipsis vinculis； sicut fera bestia；
irritata； deinde emissa。〃
＇〃Lust； like a wild beast； being more excited by being bound；
breaks from his chains with greater wildness。〃Livy； xxxiv。 4。＇
They must give them a little more rein：
〃Vidi ego nuper equum； contra sua frena tenacem；
Ore reluctanti fulminis ire modo〃：
＇〃I saw； the other day； a horse struggling against his bit；
rush like a thunderbolt。〃Ovid； Amor。； iii。 4； 13。＇
the desire of company is allayed by giving it a little liberty。 We are
pretty much in the same case they are extreme in constraint； we in
licence。 'Tis a good custom we have in France that our sons are received
into the best families； there to be entertained and bred up pages； as in
a school of nobility； and 'tis looked upon as a discourtesy and an
affront to refuse this to a gentleman。 I have taken notice （for； so many
families；
