vanity fair(名利场)-第23章

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coming　with　horrid　oaths；　drove　them　away。
Lady　Crawley　is　always　knitting　the　worsted。　　Sir　Pitt
is　always　tipsy；　every　night；　and；　I　believe；　sits　with
Horrocks；　the　butler。　　Mr。　Crawley　always　reads　sermons
in　the　evening；　and　in　the　morning　is　locked　up　in　his
study；　or　else　rides　to　Mudbury；　on　county　business；
or　to　Squashmore；　where　he　preaches；　on　Wednesdays
and　Fridays；　to　the　tenants　there。
A　hundred　thousand　grateful　loves　to　your　dear　papa
and　mamma。　　Is　your　poor　brother　recovered　of　his　rack…
punch？　Oh；　dear！　Oh；　dear！　How　men　should　beware　of
wicked　punch！
Ever　and　ever　thine　own
REBECCA
Everything　considered；　I　think　it　is　quite　as　well　for
our　dear　Amelia　Sedley；　in　Russell　Square；　that　Miss
Sharp　and　she　are　parted。　　Rebecca　is　a　droll　funny
creature；　to　be　sure；　and　those　descriptions　of　the　poor　lady
weeping　for　the　loss　of　her　beauty；　and　the　gentleman
〃with　hay…coloured　whiskers　and　straw…coloured　hair；〃
are　very　smart；　doubtless；　and　show　a　great　knowledge
of　the　world。　　That　she　might；　when　on　her　knees；　have
been　thinking　of　something　better　than　Miss　Horrocks's
ribbons；　has　possibly　struck　both　of　us。　　But　my　kind
reader　will　please　to　remember　that　this　history　has
〃Vanity　Fair〃　for　a　title；　and　that　Vanity　Fair　is　a
very　vain；　wicked；　foolish　place；　full　of　all　sorts　of
humbugs　and　falsenesses　and　pretensions。　　And　while　the
moralist；　who　is　holding　forth　on　the　cover　（　an　accurate
portrait　of　your　humble　servant）；　professes　to　wear
neither　gown　nor　bands；　but　only　the　very　same　long…
eared　livery　in　which　his　congregation　is　arrayed：　yet；
look　you；　one　is　bound　to　speak　the　truth　as　far　as　one
knows　it；　whether　one　mounts　a　cap　and　bells　or　a　shovel
hat；　and　a　deal　of　disagreeable　matter　must　come　out
in　the　course　of　such　an　undertaking。
I　have　heard　a　brother　of　the　story…telling　trade；　at
Naples；　preaching　to　a　pack　of　good…for…nothing　honest
lazy　fellows　by　the　sea…shore；　work　himself　up　into　such　a
rage　and　passion　with　some　of　the　villains　whose　wicked
deeds　he　was　describing　and　inventing；　that　the　audience
could　not　resist　it；　and　they　and　the　poet　together　would
burst　out　into　a　roar　of　oaths　and　execrations　against
the　fictitious　monster　of　the　tale；　so　that　the　hat　went
round；　and　the　bajocchi　tumbled　into　it；　in　the　midst　of
a　perfect　storm　of　sympathy。
At　the　little　Paris　theatres；　on　the　other　hand；　you　will
not　only　hear　the　people　yelling　out　〃Ah　gredin！　Ah
monstre：〃　and　cursing　the　tyrant　of　the　play　from　the
boxes；　but　the　actors　themselves　positively　refuse　to　play
the　wicked　parts；　such　as　those　of　infames　Anglais；
brutal　Cossacks；　and　what　not；　and　prefer　to　appear
at　a　smaller　salary；　in　their　real　characters　as　loyal
Frenchmen。　　I　set　the　two　stories　one　against　the　other；
so　that　you　may　see　that　it　is　not　from　mere　mercenary
motives　that　the　present　performer　is　desirous　to　show
up　and　trounce　his　villains；　but　because　he　has　a　sincere
hatred　of　them；　which　he　cannot　keep　down；　and　which
must　find　a　vent　in　suitable　abuse　and　bad　language。
I　warn　my　〃kyind　friends；〃　then；　that　I　am　going　to
tell　a　story　of　harrowing　villainy　and　complicatedbut；
as　I　trust；　intensely　interestingcrime。　　My　rascals　are
no　milk…and…water　rascals；　I　promise　you。　　When　we　come
to　the　proper　places　we　won't　spare　fine　languageNo；
no！　But　when　we　are　going　over　the　quiet　country　we
must　perforce　be　calm。　　A　tempest　in　a　slop…basin　is
absurd。　　We　will　reserve　that　sort　of　thing　for　the　mighty
ocean　and　the　lonely　midnight。　　The　present　Chapter　is
very　mild。　　OthersBut　we　will　not　anticipate　THOSE。
And；　as　we　bring　our　characters　forward；　I　will　ask
leave；　as　a　man　and　a　brother；　not　only　to　introduce
them；　but　occasionally　to　step　down　from　the　platform；
and　talk　about　them：　if　they　are　good　and　kindly；　to
love　them　and　shake　them　by　the　hand：　if　they　are　silly；
to　laugh　at　them　confidentially　in　the　reader's　sleeve：
if　they　are　wicked　and　heartless；　to　abuse　them　in　the
strongest　terms　which　politeness　admits　of。
Otherwise　you　might　fancy　it　was　I　who　was　sneering
at　the　practice　of　devotion；　which　Miss　Sharp　finds　so
ridiculous；　that　it　was　I　who　laughed　good…humouredly
at　the　reeling　old　Silenus　of　a　baronetwhereas　the
laughter　comes　from　one　who　has　no　reverence　except
for　prosperity；　and　no　eye　for　anything　beyond　success。
Such　people　there　are　living　and　flourishing　in　the　world
Faithless；　Hopeless；　Charityless：　let　us　have　at　them；
dear　friends；　with　might　and　main。　　Some　there　are；　and
very　successful　too；　mere　quacks　and　fools：　and　it　was
to　combat　and　expose　such　as　those；　no　doubt；　that
Laughter　was　made。

CHAPTER　IX
Family　Portraits
Sir　Pitt　Crawley　was　a　philosopher　with　a　taste　for　what　is
called　low　life。　　His　first　marriage　with　the　daughter　of
the　noble　Binkie　had　been　made　under　the　auspices　of
his　parents；　and　as　he　often　told　Lady　Crawley　in　her
lifetime　she　was　such　a　confounded　quarrelsome　high…bred
jade　that　when　she　died　he　was　hanged　if　he　would　ever　take
another　of　her　sort；　at　her　ladyship's　demise　he　kept　his
promise；　and　selected　for　a　second　wife　Miss　Rose　Dawson；
daughter　of　Mr。　John　Thomas　Dawson；　ironmonger；　of　Mudbury。
What　a　happy　woman　was　Rose　to　be　my　Lady　Crawley！
Let　us　set　down　the　items　of　her　happiness。　　In　the
first　place；　she　gave　up　Peter　Butt；　a　young　man　who
kept　company　with　her；　and　in　consequence　of　his
disappointment　in　love；　took　to　smuggling；　poaching；　and　a
thousand　other　bad　courses。　　Then　she　quarrelled；　as　in
duty　bound；　with　all　the　friends　and　intimates　of　her　youth；
who；　of　course；　could　not　be　received　by　my　Lady　at
Queen's　Crawleynor　did　she　find　in　her　new　rank　and
abode　any　persons　who　were　willing　to　welcome　her。
Who　ever　did？　Sir　Huddleston　Fuddleston　had　three
daughters　who　all　hoped　to　be　Lady　Crawley。　　Sir　Giles
Wapshot's　family　were　insulted　that　one　of　the　Wapshot
girls　had　not　the　preference　in　the　marriage；　and　the
remaining　baronets　of　the　county　were　indignant　at　their
comrade's　misalliance。　　Never　mind　the　commoners；　whom
we　will　leave　to　grumble　anonymously。
Sir　Pitt　did　not　care；　as　he　said；　a　brass　farden　for
any　one　of　them。　　He　had　his　pretty　Rose；　and　what
more　need　a　man　require　than　to　please　himself？　So　he
used　to　get　drunk　every　night：　to　beat　his　pretty　Rose
sometimes：　to　leave　her　in　Hampshire　when　he　went　to
London　for　the　parliamentary　session；　without　a　single
friend　in　the　wide　world。　　Even　Mrs。　Bute　Crawley；　the
Rector's　wife；　refused　to　visit　her；　as　she　said　she　would
never　give　the　pas　to　a　tradesman's　daughter。
As　the　only　endowments　with　which　Nature　had　gifted
Lady　Crawley　were　those　of　pink　cheeks　and　a　white
skin；　and　as　she　had　no　sort　of　character；　nor　talents；
nor　opinions；　nor　occupations；　nor　amusements；　nor　that
vigour　of　soul　and　ferocity　of　temper　which　often　falls
to　the　lot　of　entirely　foolish　women；　her　hold　upon　Sir
Pitt's　affections　was　not　very　great。　　Her　roses　faded　out
of　her　cheeks；　and　the　pretty　freshness　left　her　figure
after　the　birth　of　a　couple　of　children；　and　she　became
a　mere　machine　in　her　husband's　house　of　no　more　use
than　the　late　Lady　Crawley's　grand　piano。　　Being　a　light…
complexioned　woman；　she　wore　light　clothes；　as　most
blondes　will；　and　appeared；　in　preference；　in　draggled　sea…
green；　or　slatternly　sky…blue。　　She　worked　that　worsted
day　and　night；　or　other　pieces　like　it。　　She　had
counterpanes　in　the　course　of　a　few　years　to　all　the　beds　in
Crawley。　　She　had　a　small　flower…garden；　for　which　she
had　rather　an　affection；　but　beyond　this　no　other　like
or　disliking。　　When　her　husband　was　rude　to　her　she　was
apathetic：　whenever　he　struck　her　she　cried。　　She　had　not
character　enough　to　take　to　drinking；　and　moaned　about；
slipshod　and　in　curl…papers　all　day。　　0　Vanity　Fair
Vanity　Fair！　This　might　have　been；　but　for　you；　a　cheery
lassPeter　Butt　and　Rose　a　happy　man　and　wife；　in　a
snug　farm；　with　a　hearty　family；　and　an　honest　portion
of　pleasures；　cares；　hopes　and　strugglesbut　a　title　and
a　coach　and　four　are　toys　more　precious　than　happiness
in　Vanity　Fair：　and　if　Harry　the　Eighth　or　Bluebeard
were　alive　now；　and　wanted　a　ten