hard cash-第29章

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〃DEAR　MRS。　DODD；I　have　gained　some　victories　in　my　life；　but　not　one　without　two　defeats　to　begin　with；　how　then　can　I　expect　to　obtain　such　a　prize　as　dear　Julia　without　a　check　or　two？　You　need　not　fear　that　I　shall　intrude　after　your　appeal　to　me　as　a　gentleman：　but　I　am　not　going　to　give　in　because　my　father　has　written　a　hasty　letter　from　Yorkshire。　He　and　I　must　have　many　a　talk　face　to　face　before　I　consent　to　be　miserable　for　life。　Dear　Mrs。　Dodd；　at　first　receipt　of　your　cruel　letter；　so　kindly　worded；　I　was　broken…hearted；　but　now　I　am　myself　again：　difficulties　are　made　for　ladies　to　yield　to；　and　for　men　to　conquer。　Only　for　pity's　sake　do　not　you　be　my　enemy；　do　not　set　her　against　me　for　my　father's　fault。　Think；　if　you　can；　how　my　heart　bleeds　at　closing　this　letter　without　one　word　to　her　I　love　better；　a　thousand　times　better；　than　my　lifeI　am；　dear　Mrs。　Dodd；　yours　sorrowfully；　but　not　despairing；

〃ALFRED　HARDIE。〃


Mrs。　Dodd　kept　this　letter　to　herself。　She　could　not　read　it　quite　unmoved；　and　therefore　she　felt　sure　it　would　disturb　her　daughter's　heart　the　more。

Alfred　had　now　a　soft　but　dangerous　antagonist　in　Mrs。　Dodd。　All　the　mother　was　in　arms　to　secure　her　daughter's　happiness；　_coute　qu'il　coute！_　and　the　surest　course　seemed　to　be　to　detach　her　affections　from　Alfred。　What　hope　of　a　peaceful　heart　without　this？　and　what　real　happiness　without　peace？　But；　too　wise　and　calm　to　interfere　blindly；　she　watched　her　daughter　day　and　night；　to　find　whether　Love　or　Pride　was　the　stronger；　and　this　is　what　she　observed

Julia　never　mentioned　Alfred。　She　sought　occupation　eagerly：　came　oftener　than　usual　for　money；　saying；　it　was　for　〃Luxury。〃　She　visited　the　poor　more　constantly；　taking　one　of　the　maids　with　her；　at　Mrs。　Dodd's　request。　She　studied　Logic　with　Edward。　She　went　to　bed　rather　early；　fatigued；　it　would　appear；　by　her　activity：　and　she　gave　the　clue　to　her　own　conduct　one　day：　〃Mamma；〃　said　she；　nobody　is　downright　unhappy　who　is　good。〃

Mrs。　Dodd　noticed　also　a　certain　wildness　and　almost　violence；　with　which　she　threw　herself　into　her　occupations；　and　a　worn　look　about　the　eyes　that　told　of　a　hidden　conflict。　On　the　whole　Mrs。　Dodd　was　hopeful；　for　she　had　never　imagined　the　cure　would　be　speedy　or　easy。　To　see　her　child　on　the　right　road　was　much。　Only　the　great　healer　Time　could　〃medicine　her　to　that　sweet　peace　which　once　she　owned；〃　and　even　Time　cannot　give　her　back　her　childhood；　thought　the　mother；　with　a　sigh。

One　day　came　an　invitation　to　an　evening　party　at　a　house　where　they　always　wound　up　with　dancing。　Mrs。　Dodd　was　for　declining　as　usual　for　since　that　night　Julia　had　shunned　parties。　〃Give　me　the　sorrows　of　the　poor　and　afflicted；〃　was　her　cry；　〃the　gaiety　of　the　hollow　world　jars　me　more　than　I　can　bear。〃　But　now　she　caught　with　a　sort　of　eagerness　at　this　invitation。　〃Accept。　They　shall　not　say　I　am　wearing　the　willow。〃

〃My　brave　girl；〃　said　Mrs。　Dodd　joyfully；　〃I　would　not　press　it；　but　you　are　right；　we　owe　it　to　ourselves　to　outface　scandal。　Still；　let　there　be　no　precipitation；　we　must　not　undertake　beyond　our　strength。〃

〃Try　me　to…night；〃　said　Julia；　〃you　don't　know　what　I　can　do。　I　dare　say　_he_　is　not　pining　for　_me。_〃

She　was　the　life　and　soul　of　the　party；　and；　indeed；　so　feverishly　brilliant；　that　Mrs。　Dodd　said　softly　to　her；　〃Gently；　love；　moderate　your　spirits；　or　they　will　deceive　our　friends　as　little　as　they　do　me。〃

Meantime　it　cost　Alfred　Hardie　a　severe　struggle　to　keep　altogether　aloof　from　Julia。　In　fact；　it　was　a　state　of　daily　self…denial；　to　which　he　would　never　have　committed　himself；　but　that　he　was　quite　sure　he　could　gradually　win　his　father　over。　At　his　age　we　are　apt　to　count　without　our　antagonist。

Mr。　Richard　Hardie　was　〃a　long…headed　man。〃　He　knew　the　consequence　of　giving　one's　reasons：　eternal　discussion　ending　in　war。　He　had　taken　care　not　to　give　any　to　Mrs。　Dodd；　and　he　was　as　guarded　and　reserved　with　Alfred。　The　young　man　begged　to　know　the　why　and　the　wherefore；　and　being　repulsed；　employed　all　his　art　to　elicit　them　by　surprise；　or　get　at　them　by　inference：　but　all　in　vain。　Hardie　senior　was　impenetrable；　and　inquiry；　petulance；　tenderness；　logic；　were　all　shattered　on　him　as　the　waves　break　on　Ailsa　Craig。

Thus　began　dissension；　decently　conducted　at　first；　between　a　father　indulgent　hitherto　and　an　affectionate　son。

In　this　unfortunate　collision　of　two　strong　and　kindred　natures；　every　advantage　was　at　present　on　the　father's　side：　age；　experience；　authority；　resolution；　hidden　and　powerful　motives；　to　which　my　reader　even　has　no　clue　as　yet；　a　purpose　immutable　and　concealed。　Add　to　these　a　colder　nature　and　a　far　colder　affection；　for　Alfred　loved　his　father　dearly。

At　last；　one　day；　the　impetuous　one　lost　his　self…command；　and　said　he　was　a　son；　not　a　slave；　and　had　little　respect　for　Authority　when　afraid　or　ashamed　to　appeal　to　Reason。　Hardie　senior　turned　on　him　with　a　gravity　and　dignity　no　man　could　wear　more　naturally。　〃Alfred；　have　I　been　an　unkind　father　to　you　all　these　years？〃

〃Oh　no；　father；　no；　I　have　said　nothing　that　can　be　so　construed。　And　that　is　the　mystery　to　me；　you　are　acting　quite　out　of　character。〃

〃Have　I　been　one　of　those　interfering；　pragmatical　fathers　who　cannot　let　their　children　enjoy　themselves　their　own　way？〃

〃No；　sir；　you　have　never　interfered；　except　to　pay　for　anything　I　wanted。〃

〃Then　make　the　one　return　in　your　power；　young　man：　have　a　little　faith　in　such　a　father；　and　believe　that　he　does　not　interfere　now　but　for　your　good；　and　under　a　stern　necessity；　and　that　when　he　does　interfere　for　once；　and　say；　'This　thing　shall　not　be；'　it　shall　not　beby　Heaven！〃

Alfred　was　overpowered　by　the　weight　and　solemnity　of　this。　Sorrow；　vexation；　and　despondency　all　rushed　into　his　heart　together；　and　unmanned　him　for　a　moment；　he　buried　his　face　in　his　hands；　and　something　very　like　a　sob　burst　from　his　young　heart。　At　this　Hardie　senior　took　up　the　newspaper　with　imperturbable　coldness；　and　wore　a　slight　curl　of　the　lip。　All　this　was　hardly　genuine；　for　he　was　not　altogether　unmoved；　but　he　was　a　man　of　rare　self…command；　and　chose　to　impress　on　Alfred　that　he　was　no　more　to　be　broken　or　melted　than　a　mere　rock。

It　is　always　precarious　to　act　a　part；　and　this　cynicism　was　rather　able　than　wise：　Alfred　looked　up　and　watched　him　keenly　as　he　read　the　monetary　article　with　tranquil　interest；　and　then；　for　the　first　time　in　his　life；　it　flashed　into　the　young　man's　mind　that　his　father　was　not　a　father。　〃I　never　knew　him　till　now；〃　thought　he。　〃This　man　is　＇Greek　text＇。〃*

*Without　bowels　of　affection。

Thus　a　gesture；　so　to　speak；　sowed　the　first　seed　of　downright　disunion　in　Richard　Hardie's　housedisunion；　a　fast…growing　plant；　when　men　set　it　in　the　soil　of　the　passions。

Alfred；　unlike　Julia；　had　no　panacea。　Had　any　lips；　except　perhaps　hers；　told　him　that　〃to　be　good　is　to　be　happy　here　below；〃　he　would　have　replied：　_〃Negatur；_　contradicted　by　daily　experience。〃　It　never　occurred　to　him；　therefore；　to　go　out　of　himself；　and　sympathise　with　the　sordid　sorrows　of　the　poor；　and　their　bottomless　egotism　in　contact　with　the　well…to…do。　He　brooded　on　his　own　love；　and　his　own　unhappiness；　and　his　own　father's　cruelty。　His　nights　were　sleepless　and　his　days　leaden。　He　tried　hard　to　read　for　his　first　class；　but　for　once　even　ambition　failed：　it　ended　in　flinging　books　away　in　despair。　He　wandered　about　dreaming　and　moping　for　some　change；　and　bitterly　regretting　his　excessive　delicacy；　which　had　tied　his　own　hands　and　brought　him　to　a　stand…still。　He　lost　his　colour　and　what　little　flesh　he　had　to　lose；　for　such　young　spirits　as　this　are　never　plump。　In　a　word；　being　now　strait…jacketed　into　feminine　inactivity；　while　void　of　feminine　patience；　his　ardent　heart　was　pining　and　fretting　itself　out。　He　was　in　this　condition；　when　one　day　Peterson；　his　Oxonian　friend；　burst　in　on　him　open…mouthed　with　delight；　and；　as　usual　with　bright　spirits　of　this　calibre；　did　not　even　notice　his　friend's　sadness。　〃Cupid　had　clapped　him　on　the　shoulder；〃　as　Shakespeare　hath　it；　and　it　was　a　deal　nicer　than　the　bum…bailiff　rheumatism。

〃Oh；　such　a　divine　creature！　Met