interlude(題洗袋環棲咀込蒙妾繁議鳥寂燕處)-及44嫗
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Sara Lee went out and left him there�察 �went out rather terrified and
bewildered�察�and refusing absolutely to look into her own heart。
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CHAPTER XXIII
Late in May she started for home。 It had not been necessary to close
the little house。 An Englishwoman of mature years and considerable
wealth�察�hearing from Mr。 Travers of Sara Lee's recall�察�went out a day or
two before she left and took charge。 She was a kindly woman�察 �in deep
mourning�察�and some of the ache left Sara Lee's heart when she had talked
with her successor。
Perhaps�察 �too�察 �Mrs。 Cameron understood some of the things that had
puzzled her before。 She had been a trifle skeptical perhaps about Sara Lee
before she saw her。 A young girl alone among an army of men� �She was a
good woman herself�察�and not given to harsh judgments�察�but the thing had
seemed odd。 But Sara Lee in her little house�察�as virginal�察�as without sex´
consciousness as a child�察�Sara Lee with her shabby clothes and her stained
hands and her honest eyes ´ this was not only a good girl�察�this was a brave
and high´spirited and idealistic woman。
And after an evening in the house of mercy�察�with the soldiers openly
adoring and entirely respectful�察 �Mrs。 Cameron put her arms round Sara
Lee and kissed her。
;You must let me thank you�察─�she said。 ;You have made me feel what I
have not felt since´;
She stopped。 Her mourning was only a month old。 ;I see to´night that�察�
after all�察�many things may be gone�察�but that while service remains there is
something worth while in life。;
The next day she asked Sara Lee to stay with her�察�at least through the
summer。 Sara Lee hesitated�察�but at last she agreed to cable。 As Henri had
disappeared with the arrival of Mrs。 Cameron it was that lady's chauffeur
who took the message to Dunkirk and sent it off。
She had sent the cable to Harvey。 It was no longer a matter of the
Ladies' Aid。 It was between Harvey and herself。
The reply came on the second day。 It was curt and decisive。
;Now or never�察─�was the message Harvey sent out of his black despair�察�
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across the Atlantic to the little house so dose under the guns of Belgium。
Henri was half mad those last days。 Jean tried to counsel him�察�but he
was irritable�察 �almost savage。 And Jean understood。 The girl had grown
deep into his own heart。 Like Henri�察�he believed that she was going back
to unhappiness�察�he even said so to her in the car�察�on that last sad day when
Sara Lee�察 �having visited Rene's grave and prayed in the ruined church�察�
said good´by to the little house�察 �and went away�察 �tearless at the last�察�
because she was too sad for tears。
It was not for some time that Jean spoke what was in his mind�察�and
when he had done so she turned to him gravely�此�
;You are wrong�察�Jean。 He is the kindest of men。 Once I am back�察�and
safe�察 �he will be very different。 I'm afraid I've given you a wrong
impression of him。;
;You think then�察�mademoiselle�察�that he will forget all these months ´
he will never be unhappy over them�拭─�
;Why should he�拭─�said Sara Lee proudly。 ;When I tell him everything
he will understand。 And he will be very proud that I have done my share。;
But Jean's one eye was dubious。
At the wharf in Dunkirk they found Henri�察�a pale but composed Henri。
Jean's brows contracted。 He had thought that the boy would follow his
advice and stay away。 But Henri was there。
It was as well�察�perhaps�察�for Sara Lee had brought him a letter�察�one of
those missives from the trenches which had been so often left at the little
house。
Henri thrust it into his pocket without reading it。
;Everything is prepared�察─�he said。 ;It is the British Admiralty boat�察�and
one of the officers has offered his cabin。 You will be quite comfortable。;
He appeared entirely calm。 He saw to carrying Sara Lee's small bag on
board�察�he chatted with the officers�察�he even wandered over to a hospital
ship moored near by and exchanged civilities with a wounded man in a
chair on the deck。 Perhaps he swaggered a bit too much�察�for Jean watched
him with some anxiety。 He saw that the boy was taking it hard。 His eyes
were very sunken now�察�and he moved his right arm stiffly�察�as though the
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old wound troubled him。
Jean did not like leave´takings。 Particularly he did not like taking leave
of Sara Lee。 Some time before the boat sailed he kissed her hand�察�and then
patted it and went away in the car without looking back。
The boat was preparing to get under way。 Henri was standing by her
very quietly。 He had not slept the night before�察�but then there were many
nights when Henri did not sleep。 He had wandered about�察 �smoking
incessantly�察�trying to picture the black future。
He could see no hope anywhere。 America was far away�察�and peaceful。
Very soon the tranquillity of it all would make the last months seem
dreamlike and unreal。 She would forget Belgium�察 �forget him。 Or she
would remember him as a soldier who had once loved her。 Once loved her�察�
because she had never seemed to realize the lasting quality of his love。 She
had always felt that he would forget her。 If he could only make her believe
that he would not�察�it would not be so hopeless。
He had written a bit of a love letter on the little table at Dunkirk that
morning�察�written it with the hope that the sight of the written words might
carry conviction where all his protests had failed。
;I shall love you all the years of my life�察─�he wrote。 ;At any time�察�in
any place�察�you may come to me and know that I am waiting。 Great love
like this comes only once to any man�察�and once come to him it never goes
away。 At any time in the years to come you may know with certainty that
you are still to me what you are now�察�the love of my life。
;Sometimes I think�察�dearest ´ I may call you that once�察�now that you
have left me ´ that far away you will hear this call of mine and come back
to me。 Perhaps you will never come。 Perhaps I shall not live。 I feel to´day
that I do not care greatly to live。
;If that is to be�察�then think of me somewhere�察�perhaps with Rene by
my side�察 �since he�察 �too�察 �loved you。 And I shall still be calling you�察 �and
waiting。 Perhaps even beyond the stars they have need of a little house of
mercy�察�and�察�God knows�察�wherever I am I shall have need of you。;
He had the letter in the pocket of his tunic�察 �and at last the moment
came when the boat must leave。 Suddenly Henri knew that he could not
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allow her to cross to England alone。 The last few days had brought many
stories of submarine attacks。 Here�察 �so far north�察 �the Germans were
particularly active。 They had for a long time lurked in waiting for this
British Admiralty boat�察 �with its valuable cargo�察 �its officers and the
government oflicials who used it。
;Good´by�察�Henri�察─�said Sara Lee。 ;I ´ of course it is no use to try to tell
you ´;
;I am going across with you。;
But ´;
;I allowed you to come over alone。 I shiver when I think of it。 I shall
take you back myself。;
;Is it very dangerous�拭─�
;Probably not。 But can you think of me standing safe on