the ragged trousered philanthropists-第101章

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When　the　Practical；　Level…headed；　Sensible　Business…men　are　asked　why　they　do　not　remedy　this　state　of　things；　they　reply　that　they　do　not　know　what　to　do！　or；　that　it　is　impossible　to　remedy　it！

And　yet　it　is　admitted　that　it　is　now　possible　to　produce　the　necessaries　of　life；　in　greater　abundance　than　ever　before！

With　lavish　kindness；　the　Supreme　Being　had　provided　all　things　necessary　for　the　existence　and　happiness　of　his　creatures。　　To　suggest　that　it　is　not　so　is　a　blasphemous　lie：　it　is　to　suggest　that　the　Supreme　Being　is　not　good　or　even　just。　　On　every　side　there　is　an　overflowing　superfluity　of　the　materials　requisite　for　the　production　of　all　the　necessaries　of　life：　from　these　materials　everything　we　need　may　be　produced　in　abundance　…　by　Work。　　Here　was　an　army　of　people　lacking　the　things　that　may　be　made　by　work；　standing　idle。　Willing　to　work；　clamouring　to　be　allowed　to　work；　and　the　Practical；　Level…headed；　Sensible　Business…men　did　not　know　what　to　do！

Of　course；　the　real　reason　for　the　difficulty　is　that　the　raw　materials　that　were　created　for　the　use　and　benefit　of　all　have　been　stolen　by　a　small　number；　who　refuse　to　allow　them　to　be　used　for　the　purposes　for　which　they　were　intended。　　This　numerically　insignificant　minority　refused　to　allow　the　majority　to　work　and　produce　the　things　they　need；　and　what　work　they　do　graciously　permit　to　be　done　is　not　done　with　the　object　of　producing　the　necessaries　of　life　for　those　who　work；　but　for　the　purpose　of　creating　profit　for　their　masters。

And　then；　strangest　fact　of　all；　the　people　who　find　it　a　hard　struggle　to　live；　or　who　exist　in　dreadful　poverty　and　sometimes　starve；　instead　of　trying　to　understand　the　causes　of　their　misery　and　to　find　out　a　remedy　themselves；　spend　all　their　time　applauding　the　Practical；　Sensible；　Level…headed　Business…men；　who　bungle　and　mismanage　their　affairs；　and　pay　them　huge　salaries　for　doing　so。　　Sir　Graball　D'Encloseland；　for　instance；　was　a　‘Secretary　of　State'　and　was　paid　？；000　a　year。　　When　he　first　got　the　job　the　wages　were　only　a　beggarly　？；000；　but　as　he　found　it　impossible　to　exist　on　less　than　？00　a　week　he　decided　to　raise　his　salary　to　that　amount；　and　the　foolish　people　who　find　it　a　hard　struggle　to　live　paid　it　willingly；　and　when　they　saw　the　beautiful　motor　car　and　the　lovely　clothes　and　jewellery　he　purchased　for　his　wife　with　the　money；　and　heard　the　Great　Speech　he　made　…　telling　them　how　the　shortage　of　everything　was　caused　by　Over…production　and　Foreign　Competition；　they　clapped　their　hands　and　went　frantic　with　admiration。　　Their　only　regret　was　that　there　were　no　horses　attached　to　the　motor　car；　because　if　there　had　been；　they　could　have　taken　them　out　and　harnessed　themselves　to　it　instead。

Nothing　delighted　the　childish　minds　of　these　poor　people　so　much　as　listening　to　or　reading　extracts　from　the　speeches　of　such　men　as　these；　so　in　order　to　amuse　them；　every　now　and　then；　in　the　midst　of　all　the　wretchedness；　some　of　the　great　statesmen　made　‘great　speeches'　full　of　cunning　phrases　intended　to　hoodwink　the　fools　who　had　elected　them。　　The　very　same　week　that　Sir　Graball's　salary　was　increased　to　？；000　a　year；　all　the　papers　were　full　of　a　very　fine　one　that　he　made。　　They　appeared　with　large　headlines　like　this：

　　　　　　　　　　　　　GREAT　SPEECH　BY　SIR　GRABALL　D'ENCLOSELAND

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Brilliant　Epigram！

　　　　None　should　have　more　than　they　need；　whilst　any　have　less　than　　　　　they　need！

The　hypocrisy　of　such　a　saying　in　the　mouth　of　a　man　who　was　drawing　a　salary　of　five　thousand　pounds　a　year　did　not　appear　to　occur　to　anyone。　　On　the　contrary；　the　hired　scribes　of　the　capitalist　Press　wrote　columns　of　fulsome　admiration　of　the　miserable　claptrap；　and　the　working　men　who　had　elected　this　man　went　into　raptures　over　the　‘Brilliant　Epigram'　as　if　it　were　good　to　eat。　　They　cut　it　out　of　the　papers　and　carried　it　about　with　them：　they　showed　it　to　each　other：　they　read　it　and　repeated　it　to　each　other：　they　wondered　at　it　and　were　delighted　with　it；　grinning　and　gibbering　at　each　other　in　the　exuberance　of　their　imbecile　enthusiasm。

The　Distress　Committee　was　not　the　only　body　pretending　to　‘deal'　with　the　poverty　‘problem'：　its　efforts　were　supplemented　by　all　the　other　agencies　already　mentioned　…　the　Labour　Yard；　the　Rummage　Sales；　the　Organized　Benevolence　Society；　and　so　on；　to　say　nothing　of　a　most　benevolent　scheme　originated　by　the　management　of　Sweater's　Emporium；　who　announced　in　a　letter　that　was　published　in　the　local　Press　that　they　were　prepared　to　employ　fifty　men　for　one　week　to　carry　sandwich　boards　at　one　shilling　…　and　a　loaf　of　bread　…　per　day。

They　got　the　men；　some　unskilled　labourers；　a　few　old；　worn　out　artisans　whom　misery　had　deprived　of　the　last　vestiges　of　pride　or　shame；　a　number　of　habitual　drunkards　and　loafers；　and　a　non…descript　lot　of　poor　ragged　old　men　…　old　soldiers　and　others　of　whom　it　would　be　impossible　to　say　what　they　had　once　been。

The　procession　of　sandwich　men　was　headed　by　the　Semi…drunk　and　the　Besotted　Wretch；　and　each　board　was　covered　with　a　printed　poster：　‘Great　Sale　of　Ladies'　Blouses　now　Proceeding　at　Adam　Sweater's　Emporium。'

Besides　this　artful　scheme　of　Sweater's　for　getting　a　good　advertisement　on　the　cheap；　numerous　other　plans　for　providing　employment　or　alleviating　the　prevailing　misery　were　put　forward　in　the　columns　of　the　local　papers　and　at　the　various　meetings　that　were　held。　　Any　foolish；　idiotic；　useless　suggestion　was　certain　to　receive　respectful　attention；　any　crafty　plan　devised　in　his　own　interest　or　for　his　own　profit　by　one　or　other　of　the　crew　of　sweaters　and　landlords　who　controlled　the　town　was　sure　to　be　approved　of　by　the　other　inhabitants　of　Mugsborough；　the　majority　of　whom　were　persons　of　feeble　intellect　who　not　only　allowed　themselves　to　be　robbed　and　exploited　by　a　few　cunning　scoundrels；　but　venerated　and　applauded　them　for　doing　it。



Chapter　38

The　Brigands'　Cave


One　evening　in　the　drawing…room　at　‘The　Cave'　there　was　a　meeting　of　a　number　of　the　‘Shining　Lights'　to　arrange　the　details　of　a　Rummage　Sale；　that　was　to　be　held　in　aid　of　the　unemployed。　　It　was　an　informal　affair；　and　while　they　were　waiting　for　the　other　luminaries；　the　early　arrivals；　Messrs　Rushton；　Didlum　and　Grinder；　Mr　Oyley　Sweater；　the　Borough　Surveyor；　Mr　Wireman；　the　electrical　engineer　who　had　been　engaged　as　an　‘expert'　to　examine　and　report　on　the　Electric　Light　Works；　and　two　or　three　other　gentlemen　…　all　members　of　the　Band　…　took　advantage　of　the　opportunity　to　discuss　a　number　of　things　they　were　mutually　interested　in；　which　were　to　be　dealt　with　at　the　meeting　of　the　Town　Council　the　next　day。　　First；　there　was　the　affair　of　the　untenanted　Kiosk　on　the　Grand　Parade。　　This　building　belonged　to　the　Corporation；　and　‘The　Cosy　Corner　Refreshment　Coy。'　of　which　Mr　Grinder　was　the　managing　director；　was　thinking　of　hiring　it　to　open　as　a　high…class　refreshment　lounge；　provided　the　Corporation　would　make　certain　alterations　and　let　the　place　at　a　reasonable　rent。　Another　item　which　was　to　be　discussed　at　the　Council　meeting　was　Mr　Sweater's　generous　offer　to　the　Corporation　respecting　the　new　drain　connecting　‘The　Cave'　with　the　Town　Main。

The　report　of　Mr　Wireman；　the　electrical　expert；　was　also　to　be　dealt　with；　and　afterwards　a　resolution　in　favour　of　the　purchase　of　the　Mugsborough　Electric　light　and　Installation　Co。　Ltd　by　the　town；　was　to　be　proposed。

In　addition　to　these　matters；　several　other　items；　including　a　proposal　by　Mr　Didlum　for　an　important　reform　in　the　matter　of　conducting　the　meetings　of　the　Council；　formed　subjects　for　animated　conversation　between　the　brigands　and　their　host。

During　this　discussion　other　luminaries　arrived；　including　several　ladies　and　the　Rev。　Mr　Bosher；　of　the　Church　of　the　Whited　Sepulchre。

The　drawing…room　of　‘The　Cave'　was　now　elaborately　furnished。　　A　large　mirror　in　a　richly　gilt　frame　reached　from　the　carved　marble　mantelpiece　to　the　cornice。　　A　magnificent　clock　in　an　alabaster　case　stood　in　the　centre　of　the　mantelpiece　and　was　flanked　by　two　exquisitely　painted　and　gilded　vases　of　Dresden　ware。　　The　windows　were　draped