the ragged trousered philanthropists-第152章

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d　round　it　was　out　in　the　middle　of　the　muddy　road。　　Having　recovered　this；　they　shook　as　much　of　the　dirt　off　as　they　could；　and　having　wrapped　it　round　the　coffin　again　they　resumed　their　journey　to　the　mortuary；　where　they　found　Hunter　waiting　for　them；　engaged　in　earnest　conversation　with　the　keeper。　　The　electric　light　was　switched　on；　and　as　Crass　and　Sawkins　came　in　they　saw　that　the　marble　slab　was　empty。

The　corpse　was　gone。

‘Snatchum　came　this　afternoon　with　a　hand…truck　and　a　corfin；'　explained　the　keeper。　　‘I　was　out　at　the　time；　and　the　missis　thought　it　was　all　right　so　she　let　him　have　the　key。'

Hunter　and　Crass　looked　blankly　at　each　other。

‘Well；　this　takes　the　biskit！'　said　the　latter　as　soon　as　he　could　speak。

‘I　thought　you　said　you　had　settled　everything　all　right　with　the　old　woman？'　said　Hunter。

‘So　I　did；'　replied　Crass。　　‘I　seen　'er　on　Friday；　and　I　told　'er　to　leave　it　all　to　me　to　attend　to；　and　she　said　she　would。　　I　told　'er　that　Philpot　said　to　me　that　if　ever　anything　'appened　to　'im　I　was　to　take　charge　of　everything　for　'er；　because　I　was　'is　best　friend。　　And　I　told　'er　we'd　do　it　as　cheap　as　possible。'

‘Well；　it　seems　to　me　as　you've　bungled　it　somehow；'　said　Nimrod；　gloomily。　　‘I　ought　to　have　gone　and　seen　'er　myself；　I　was　afraid　you'd　make　a　mess　of　it；'　he　added　in　a　wailing　tone。　　‘It's　always　the　same；　everything　that　I　don't　attend　to　myself　goes　wrong。'

An　uncomfortable　silence　fell。　　Crass　thought　that　the　principal　piece　of　bungling　in　this　affair　was　Hunter's　failure　to　secure　possession　of　the　Coroner's　certificate　after　the　inquest；　but　he　was　afraid　to　say　so。

Outside；　the　rain　was　still　falling　and　drove　in　through　the　partly　open　door；　causing　the　atmosphere　of　the　mortuary　to　be　even　more　than　usually　cold　and　damp。　　The　empty　coffin　had　been　reared　against　one　of　the　walls　and　the　marble　slab　was　still　stained　with　blood；　for　the　keeper　had　not　had　time　to　clean　it　since　the　body　had　been　removed。

‘I　can　see　'ow　it's　been　worked；'　said　Crass　at　last。　　‘There's　one　of　the　members　of　the　club　who　works　for　Snatchum；　and　'e's　took　it　on　'isself　to　give　the　order　for　the　funeral；　but　'e's　got　no　right　to　do　it。'

‘Right　or　no　right；　'e's　done　it；'　replied　Misery；　‘so　you'd　better　take　the　box　back　to　the　shop。'

Crass　and　Sawkins　accordingly　returned　to　the　workshop；　where　they　were　presently　joined　by　Nimrod。

‘I've　been　thinking　this　business　over　as　I　came　along；'　he　said；　‘and　I　don't　see　being　beat　like　this　by　Snatchum；　so　you　two　can　just　put　the　tressels　and　the　box　on　a　hand　cart　and　we'll　take　it　over　to　Philpot's　house。'

Nimrod　walked　on　the　pavement　while　the　other　two　pushed　the　cart；　and　it　was　about　half　past　nine；　when　they　arrived　at　the　street　in　Windley　where　Philpot　used　to　live。　　They　halted　in　a　dark　part　of　the　street　a　few　yards　away　from　the　house　and　on　the　opposite　side。

‘I　think　the　best　thing　we　can　do；'　said　Misery；　‘is　for　me　and　Sawkins　to　wait　'ere　while　you　go　to　the　'ouse　and　see　'ow　the　land　lies。　　You've　done　all　the　business　with　'er　so　far。　　It's　no　use　takin'　the　box　unless　we　know　the　corpse　is　there；　for　all　we　know；　Snatchum　may　'ave　taken　it　'ome　with　'im。'

‘Yes；　I　think　that'll　be　the　best　way；'　agreed　Crass；　after　a　moment's　thought。

Nimrod　and　Sawkins　accordingly　took　shelter　in　the　doorway　of　an　empty　house；　leaving　the　handcart　at　the　kerb；　while　Crass　went　across　the　street　and　knocked　at　Philpot's　door。　　They　saw　it　opened　by　an　elderly　woman　holding　a　lighted　candle　in　her　hand；　then　Crass　went　inside　and　the　door　was　shut。　　In　about　a　quarter　of　an　hour　he　reappeared　and；　leaving　the　door　partly　open　behind　him；　he　came　out　and　crossed　over　to　where　the　others　were　waiting。　　As　he　drew　near　they　could　see　that　he　carried　a　piece　of　paper　in　his　hand。

‘It's　all　right；'　he　said　in　a　hoarse　whisper　as　he　came　up。　　I've　got　the　stifficut。'

Misery　took　the　paper　eagerly　and　scanned　it　by　the　light　of　a　match　that　Crass　struck。　　It　was　the　certificate　right　enough；　and　with　a　sigh　of　relief　Hunter　put　it　into　his　note…book　and　stowed　it　safely　away　in　the　inner　pocket　of　his　coat；　while　Crass　explained　the　result　of　his　errand。

It　appeared　that　the　other　member　of　the　Society；　accompanied　by　Snatchum；　had　called　upon　the　old　woman　and　had　bluffed　her　into　giving　them　the　order　for　the　funeral。　　It　was　they　who　had　put　her　up　to　getting　the　certificate　from　the　Coroner　…　they　had　been　careful　to　keep　away　from　the　inquest　themselves　so　as　not　to　arouse　Hunter's　or　Crass's　suspicions。

‘When　they　brought　the　body　'ome　this　afternoon；'　Crass　went　on；　‘Snatchum　tried　to　get　the　stifficut　orf　'er；　but　she'd　been　thinkin'　things　over　and　she　was　a　bit　frightened　'cos　she　knowed　she'd　made　arrangements　with　me；　and　she　thought　she'd　better　see　me　first；　so　she　told　'im　she'd　give　it　to　'im　on　Thursday；　that's　the　day　as　'e　was　goin'　to　'ave　the　funeral。'

‘He'll　find　he's　a　day　too　late；'　said　Misery；　with　a　ghastly　grin。　‘We'll　get　the　job　done　on　Wednesday。'

‘She　didn't　want　to　give　it　to　me；　at　first；'　Crass　concluded；　‘but　I　told　'er　we'd　see　'er　right　if　old　Snatchum　tried　to　make　'er　pay　for　the　other　coffin。'

‘I　don't　think　he's　likely　to　make　much　fuss　about　it；'　said　Hunter。　‘He　won't　want　everybody　to　know　he　was　so　anxious　for　the　job。'

Crass　and　Sawkins　pushed　the　handcart　over　to　the　other　side　of　the　road　and　then；　lifting　the　coffin　off；　they　carried　it　into　the　house；　Nimrod　going　first。

The　old　woman　was　waiting　for　them　with　the　candle　at　the　end　of　the　passage。

‘I　shall　be　very　glad　when　it's　all　over；'　she　said；　as　she　led　the　way　up　the　narrow　stairs；　closely　followed　by　Hunter；　who　carried　the　tressels；　Crass　and　Sawkins；　bringing　up　the　rear　with　the　coffin。　　‘I　shall　be　very　glad　when　it's　all　over；　for　I'm　sick　and　tired　of　answerin'　the　door　to　undertakers。　　If　there's　been　one　'ere　since　Friday　there's　been　a　dozen；　all　after　the　job；　not　to　mention　all　the　cards　what's　been　put　under　the　door；　besides　the　one's　what　I've　had　give　to　me　by　different　people。　　I　had　a　pair　of　boots　bein'　mended　and　the　man　took　the　trouble　to　bring　'em　'ome　when　they　was　finished　…　a　thing　'e's　never　done　before　…　just　for　an　excuse　to　give　me　an　undertaker's　card。

‘Then　the　milkman　brought　one；　and　so　did　the　baker；　and　the　greengrocer　give　me　another　when　I　went　in　there　on　Saturday　to　buy　some　vegetables　for　Sunday　dinner。'

Arrived　at　the　top　landing　the　old　woman　opened　a　door　and　entered　a　small　and　wretchedly　furnished　room。

Across　the　lower　sash　of　the　window　hung　a　tattered　piece　of　lace　curtain。　　The　low　ceiling　was　cracked　and　discoloured。

There　was　a　rickety　little　wooden　washstand；　and　along　one　side　of　the　room　a　narrow　bed　covered　with　a　ragged　grey　quilt；　on　which　lay　a　bundle　containing　the　clothes　that　the　dead　man　was　wearing　at　the　time　of　the　accident。

There　was　a　little　table　in　front　of　the　window；　with　a　small　looking…glass　upon　it；　and　a　cane…seated　chair　was　placed　by　the　bedside　and　the　floor　was　covered　with　a　faded　piece　of　drab…coloured　carpet　of　no　perceptible　pattern；　worn　into　holes　in　several　places。

In　the　middle　of　this　dreary　room；　upon　a　pair　of　tressels；　was　the　coffin　containing　Philpot's　body。　　Seen　by　the　dim　and　flickering　light　of　the　candle；　the　aspect　of　this　coffin；　covered　over　with　a　white　sheet；　was　terrible　in　its　silent；　pathetic　solitude。

Hunter　placed　the　pair　of　tressels　he　had　been　carrying　against　the　wall；　and　the　other　two　put　the　empty　coffin　on　the　floor　by　the　side　of　the　bed。　　The　old　woman　stood　the　candlestick　on　the　mantelpiece；　and　withdrew；　remarking　that　they　would　not　need　her　assistance。　　The　three　men　then　removed　their　overcoats　and　laid　them　on　the　end　of　the　bed；　and　from　the　pocket　of　his　Crass　took　out　two　large　screwdrivers；　one　of　which　he　handed　to　Hunter。　　Sawkins　held　the　candle　while　they　unscrewed　and　took　off　the　lid　of　the　coffin　they　had　brought　with　them：　it　was　not　quite　empty；　for　they　had　brought　a　bag　of　tools　inside　it。

‘I　think　we　shall　be　able　to　work　better　if　we　takes　the　other　one　orf　the　trussels　and　puts　it　on　the　floor；'　remarked　Crass。

‘Y