the ragged trousered philanthropists-第58章

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mselves。

That　was　why　they　sat　there　in　their　rags　and　ate　their　coarse　food；　and　cracked　their　coarser　jokes；　and　drank　the　dreadful　tea；　and　were　content！　　So　long　as　they　had　Plenty　of　Work　and　plenty　of　…　Something　…　to　eat；　and　somebody　else's　cast…off　clothes　to　wear；　they　were　content！　　And　they　were　proud　of　it。　　They　gloried　in　it。　　They　agreed　and　assured　each　other　that　the　good　things　of　life　were　not　intended　for　the　‘Likes　of　them'；　or　their　children。

‘Wot's　become　of　the　Professor？'　asked　the　gentleman　who　sat　on　the　upturned　pail　in　the　corner；　referring　to　Owen；　who　had　not　yet　come　down　from　his　work。

‘P'raps　'e's　preparing　'is　sermon；'　remarked　Harlow　with　a　laugh。

‘We　ain't　'ad　no　lectures　from　'im　lately；　since　'e's　been　on　that　room；'　observed　Easton。　　‘'Ave　we？'

‘Dam　good　job　too！'　exclaimed　Sawkins。　　‘It　gives　me　the　pip　to　'ear　'im；　the　same　old　thing　over　and　over　again。'

‘Poor　ole　Frank；'　remarked　Harlow。　　‘'E　does　upset　'isself　about　things；　don't　'e？'

‘More　fool　'im！'　said　Bundy。　　‘I'll　take　bloody　good　care　I　don't　go　worryin'　myself　to　death　like　'e's　doin'；　about　such　dam　rot　as　that。'

‘I　do　believe　that's　wot　makes　'im　look　so　bad　as　'e　does；'　observed　Harlow。　　‘Several　times　this　morning　I　couldn't　help　noticing　the　way　'e　kept　on　coughing。'

‘I　thought　'e　seemed　to　be　a　bit　better　lately；'　Philpot　observed；　‘more　cheerful　and　happier　like；　and　more　inclined　for　a　bit　of　fun。'

‘He's　a　funny　sort　of　chap；　ain't　he？'　said　Bundy。　　‘One　day　quite　jolly；　singing　and　cracking　jokes　and　tellin'　yarns；　and　the　next　you　can't　hardly　get　a　word　out　of　'im。'

‘Bloody　rot；　I　call　it；'　chimed　in　the　man　on　the　pail。　　‘Wot　the　'ell's　the　use　of　the　likes　of　us　troublin'　our　'eads　about　politics？'

‘Oh；　I　don't　see　that。'　replied　Harlow。　　‘We've　got　votes　and　we're　really　the　people　what　control　the　affairs　of　the　country；　so　I　reckon　we　ought　to　take　SOME　interest　in　it；　but　at　the　same　time　I　can't　see　no　sense　in　this　'ere　Socialist　wangle　that　Owen's　always　talkin'　about。'

‘Nor　nobody　else　neither；'　said　Crass　with　a　jeering　laugh。

‘Even　if　all　the　bloody　money　in　the　world　WAS　divided　out　equal；'　said　the　man　on　the　pail；　profoundly；　‘it　wouldn't　do　no　good！　　In　six　months'　time　it　would　be　all　back　in　the　same　'ands　again。'

‘Of　course；'　said　everybody。

‘But　'e　'ad　a　cuff　the　other　day　about　money　bein'　no　good　at　all！'　observed　Easton。　　‘Don't　you　remember　'e　said　as　money　was　the　principal　cause　of　poverty？'

‘So　it　is　the　principal　cause　of　poverty；'　said　Owen；　who　entered　at　that　moment。

‘Hooray！'　shouted　Philpot；　leading　off　a　cheer　which　the　others　took　up。　　‘The　Professor　'as　arrived　and　will　now　proceed　to　say　a　few　remarks。'

A　roar　of　merriment　greeted　this　sally。

‘Let's　'ave　our　bloody　dinner　first；　for　Christ's　sake；'　appealed　Harlow；　with　mock　despair。

As　Owen；　having　filled　his　cup　with　tea；　sat　down　in　his　usual　place；　Philpot　rose　solemnly　to　his　feet；　and；　looking　round　the　company；　said：

‘Genelmen；　with　your　kind　permission；　as　soon　as　the　Professor　'as　finished　'is　dinner　'e　will　deliver　'is　well…known　lecture；　entitled；　〃Money　the　Principal　Cause　of　being　'ard　up〃；　proving　as　money　ain't　no　good　to　nobody。　　At　the　hend　of　the　lecture　a　collection　will　be　took　up　to　provide　the　lecturer　with　a　little　encouragement。'　　Philpot　resumed　his　seat　amid　cheers。

As　soon　as　they　had　finished　eating；　some　of　the　men　began　to　make　remarks　about　the　lecture；　but　Owen　only　laughed　and　went　on　reading　the　piece　of　newspaper　that　his　dinner　had　been　wrapped　in。　　Usually　most　of　the　men　went　out　for　a　walk　after　dinner；　but　as　it　happened　to　be　raining　that　day　they　were　determined；　if　possible；　to　make　Owen　fulfill　the　engagement　made　in　his　name　by　Philpot。

‘Let's　'oot　'im；'　said　Harlow；　and　the　suggestion　was　at　once　acted　upon；　howls；　groans　and　catcalls　filled　the　air；　mingled　with　cries　of　‘Fraud！'　‘Imposter！'　‘Give　us　our　money　back！'　‘Let's　wreck　the　'all！'　and　so　on。

‘Come　on　'ere；'　cried　Philpot；　putting　his　hand　on　Owen's　shoulder。　‘Prove　that　money　is　the　cause　of　poverty。'

‘It's　one　thing　to　say　it　and　another　to　prove　it；'　sneered　Crass；　who　was　anxious　for　an　opportunity　to　produce　the　long…deferred　Obscurer　cutting。

‘Money　IS　the　real　cause　of　poverty；'　said　Owen。

‘Prove　it；'　repeated　Crass。

‘Money　is　the　cause　of　poverty　because　it　is　the　device　by　which　those　who　are　too　lazy　to　work　are　enabled　to　rob　the　workers　of　the　fruits　of　their　labours。'

‘Prove　it；'　said　Crass。

Owen　slowly　folded　up　the　piece　of　newspaper　he　had　been　reading　and　put　it　into　his　pocket。

‘All　right；'　he　replied。　　‘I'll　show　you　how　the　Great　Money　Trick　is　worked。'

Owen　opened　his　dinner　basket　and　took　from　it　two　slices　of　bread　but　as　these　were　not　sufficient；　he　requested　that　anyone　who　had　some　bread　left　would　give　it　to　him。　　They　gave　him　several　pieces；　which　he　placed　in　a　heap　on　a　clean　piece　of　paper；　and；　having　borrowed　the　pocket　knives　they　used　to　cut　and　eat　their　dinners　with　from　Easton；　Harlow　and　Philpot；　he　addressed　them　as　follows：

‘These　pieces　of　bread　represent　the　raw　materials　which　exist　naturally　in　and　on　the　earth　for　the　use　of　mankind；　they　were　not　made　by　any　human　being；　but　were　created　by　the　Great　Spirit　for　the　benefit　and　sustenance　of　all；　the　same　as　were　the　air　and　the　light　of　the　sun。'

‘You're　about　as　fair…speakin'　a　man　as　I've　met　for　some　time；'　said　Harlow；　winking　at　the　others。

‘Yes；　mate；'　said　Philpot。　　‘Anyone　would　agree　to　that　much！　It's　as　clear　as　mud。'

‘Now；'　continued　Owen；　‘I　am　a　capitalist；　or；　rather；　I　represent　the　landlord　and　capitalist　class。　　That　is　to　say；　all　these　raw　materials　belong　to　me。　　It　does　not　matter　for　our　present　argument　how　I　obtained　possession　of　them；　or　whether　I　have　any　real　right　to　them；　the　only　thing　that　matters　now　is　the　admitted　fact　that　all　the　raw　materials　which　are　necessary　for　the　production　of　the　necessaries　of　life　are　now　the　property　of　the　Landlord　and　Capitalist　class。　　I　am　that　class：　all　these　raw　materials　belong　to　me。'

‘Good　enough！'　agreed　Philpot。

‘Now　you　three　represent　the　Working　class：　you　have　nothing　…　and　for　my　part；　although　I　have　all　these　raw　materials；　they　are　of　no　use　to　me　…　what　need　is　…　the　things　that　can　be　made　out　of　these　raw　materials　by　Work：　but　as　I　am　too　lazy　to　work　myself；　I　have　invented　the　Money　Trick　to　make　you　work　FOR　me。　　But　first　I　must　explain　that　I　possess　something　else　beside　the　raw　materials。　　These　three　knives　represent　…　all　the　machinery　of　production；　the　factories；　tools；　railways；　and　so　forth；　without　which　the　necessaries　of　life　cannot　be　produced　in　abundance。　　And　these　three　coins'　…　taking　three　halfpennies　from　his　pocket　…　‘represent　my　Money　Capital。'

‘But　before　we　go　any　further；'　said　Owen；　interrupting　himself；　‘it　is　most　important　that　you　remember　that　I　am　not　supposed　to　be　merely　〃a〃　capitalist。　　I　represent　the　whole　Capitalist　Class。　　You　are　not　supposed　to　be　just　three　workers　…　you　represent　the　whole　Working　Class。'

‘All　right；　all　right；'　said　Crass；　impatiently；　‘we　all　understand　that。　　Git　on　with　it。'

Owen　proceeded　to　cut　up　one　of　the　slices　of　bread　into　a　number　of　little　square　blocks。

‘These　represent　the　things　which　are　produced　by　labour；　aided　by　machinery；　from　the　raw　materials。　　We　will　suppose　that　three　of　these　blocks　represent　…　a　week's　work。　　We　will　suppose　that　a　week's　work　is　worth　…　one　pound：　and　we　will　suppose　that　each　of　these　ha'pennies　is　a　sovereign。　　We'd　be　able　to　do　the　trick　better　if　we　had　real　sovereigns；　but　I　forgot　to　bring　any　with　me。'

‘I'd　lend　you　some；'　said　Philpot；　regretfully；　‘but　I　left　me　purse　on　our　grand　pianner。'

As　by　a　strange　coincidence　nobody　happened　to　have　any　gold　with　them；　it　was　decided　to　make　shift　with　the　halfpence。

‘Now　this　is　the　way　the　trick　works　…'

‘Before　you　goes　on　with　it；'　interrupted　Philpot；　apprehensively；　‘don't　you　think　we'd　better　'ave　someone　to　keep　watch　at　the　gate　in　case　a　Slop　comes　along？　　We　don't　want　to　get　runned　in；　you　know。'

‘I　don'　think　there's　any　ne