the ragged trousered philanthropists-第87章
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n't that most of the money wot the bloke earns 'as to pay the rent。 Again we turns the 'andle and presently we comes to another very beautiful scene … 〃Early Morning in Trafalgar Square〃。 'Ere we see a lot of Englishmen who have been sleepin' out all night because they ain't got no 'omes to go to。'
As a suitable selection for this picture； Bert played the tune of a music…hall song； the words of which were familiar to all the youngsters； who sang at the top of their voices：
‘I live in Trafalgar Square； With four lions to guard me； Pictures and statues all over the place； Lord Nelson staring me straight in the face； Of course it's rather draughty； But still I'm sure you'll agree； If it's good enough for Lord Nelson； It's quite good enough for me。'
‘Next we 'ave a view of the dining…hall at the Topside Hotel in London； where we see the tables set for a millionaires' banquet。 The forks and spoons is made of solid gold and the plates is made of silver。 The flowers that you see on the tables and 'angin' down from the ceilin' and on the walls is worth ？；000 and it cost the bloke wot give the supper over ？0；000 for this one beano。 A few more turns of the 'andle shows us another glorious banquet … the King of Rhineland being entertained by the people of England。 Next we finds ourselves looking on at the Lord Mayor's supper at the Mansion House。 All the fat men that you see sittin' at the tables is Liberal and Tory Members of Parlimint。 After this we 'ave a very beautiful pitcher hintitled 〃Four footed Haristocrats〃。 'Ere you see Lady Slumrent's pet dogs sittin' up on chairs at their dinner table with white linen napkins tied round their necks； eatin' orf silver plates like human people and being waited on by real live waiters in hevening dress。 Lady Slumrent is very fond of her pretty pets and she does not allow them to be fed on anything but the very best food； they gets chicken； rump steak； mutton chops； rice pudding； jelly and custard。'
‘I wished I was a pet dog； don't you？' remarked Tommy Newman to Charley Linden。
‘Not arf！' replied Charley。
‘Here we see another unemployed procession；' continued Bert as he rolled another picture into sight； ‘2；000 able…bodied men who are not allowed to work。 Next we see the hinterior of a Hindustrial 'Ome … Blind children and cripples working for their living。 Our next scene is called 〃Cheap Labour〃。 'Ere we see a lot of small boys about twelve and thirteen years old bein' served out with their Labour Stifficats； which gives 'em the right to go to work and earn money to help their unemployed fathers to pay the slum rent。
‘Once more we turns the 'andle and brings on one of our finest scenes。 This lovely pitcher is hintitled 〃The Hangel of Charity〃； and shows us the beautiful Lady Slumrent seated at the table in a cosy corner of 'er charmin' boodore； writin' out a little cheque for the relief of the poor of Slumtown。
‘Our next scene is called 〃The Rival Candidates； or； a Scene during the General Election〃。 On the left you will observe； standin' up in a motor car； a swell bloke with a eyeglass stuck in one eye； and a overcoat with a big fur collar and cuffs； addressing the crowd： this is the Honourable Augustus Slumrent； the Conservative candidate。 On the other side of the road we see another motor car and another swell bloke with a round pane of glass in one eye and a overcoat with a big fur collar and cuffs； standing up in the car and addressin' the crowd。 This is Mr Mandriver； the Liberal candidate。 The crowds of shabby… lookin' chaps standin' round the motor cars wavin' their 'ats and cheerin' is workin' men。 Both the candidates is tellin' 'em the same old story； and each of 'em is askin' the workin' men to elect 'im to Parlimint； and promisin' to do something or other to make things better for the lower horders。'
As an appropriate selection to go with this picture； Bert played the tune of a popular song； the words being well known to the children； who sang enthusiastically； clapping their hands and stamping their feet on the floor in time with the music：
‘We've both been there before； Many a time； many a time！ We've both been there before； Many a time！ Where many a gallon of beer has gone。 To colour his nose and mine； We've both been there before； Many a time； many a time！'
At the conclusion of the singing； Bert turned another picture into view。
‘'Ere we 'ave another election scene。 At each side we see the two candidates the same as in the last pitcher。 In the middle of the road we see a man lying on the ground； covered with blood； with a lot of Liberal and Tory working men kickin' 'im； jumpin' on 'im； and stampin' on 'is face with their 'obnailed boots。 The bloke on the ground is a Socialist； and the reason why they're kickin' 'is face in is because 'e said that the only difference between Slumrent and Mandriver was that they was both alike。'
While the audience were admiring this picture； Bert played another well…known tune； and the children sang the words：
‘Two lovely black eyes； Oh what a surprise！ Only for telling a man he was wrong； Two lovely black eyes。'
Bert continued to turn the handles of the rollers and a long succession of pictures passed across the stage； to the delight of the children； who cheered and sang as occasion demanded； but the most enthusiastic outburst of all greeted the appearance of the final picture； which was a portrait of the King。 Directly the children saw it … without waiting for the band … they gave three cheers and began to sing the chorus of the National Anthem。
A round of applause for Bert concluded the Pandorama performance； the lamp and the candles of the Christmas tree were relit … for although all the toys had been taken off； the tree still made a fine show with the shining glass ornaments … and then they had some more games； blind man's buff； a tug…of…war … in which Philpot was defeated with great laughter … and a lot of other games。 And when they were tired of these； each child ‘said a piece' or sung a song； learnt specially for the occasion。 The only one who had not come prepared in this respect was little Rosie； and even she … so as to be the same as the others … insisted on reciting the only piece she knew。 Kneeling on the hearthrug； she put her hands together； palm to palm； and shutting her eyes very tightly she repeated the verse she always said every night before going to bed：
‘Gentle Jesus； meek and mild； Look on me； a little child。 Pity my simplicity； Suffer me to come to Thee。'
Then she stood up and kissed everyone in turn； and Philpot crossed over and began looking out of the window； and coughed； and blew his nose； because a nut that he had been eating had gone down the wrong way。
Most of them were by this time quite tired out； so after some supper the party broke up。 Although they were nearly all very sleepy； none of them were very willing to go； but they were consoled by the thought of another entertainment to which they were going later on in the week … the Band of Hope Tea and Prize Distribution at the Shining Light Chapel。
Bert undertook to see Elsie and Charley safely home； and Philpot volunteered to accompany Nellie and Tommy Newman； and to carry Rosie； who was so tired that she fell asleep on his shoulder before they left the house。
As they were going down the stairs Frankie held a hurried consultation with his mother； with the result that he was able to shout after them an invitation to come again next Christmas。
Chapter 30
The Brigands hold a Council of War
It being now what is usually called the festive season … possibly because at this period of the year a greater number of people are suffering from hunger and cold than at any other time … the reader will not be surprised at being invited to another little party which took place on the day after the one we have just left。 The scene was Mr Sweater's office。 Mr Sweater was seated at his desk； but with his chair swung round to enable him to face his guests … Messrs Rushton； Didlum； and Grinder； who were a
