speaking of operations(说起手术)-第3章
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parlor； as one of his most treasured possessions； and sometimes shows it to
visitors。 He； however； is of a very saving disposition。
Presently a lady secretary； who sat behind a roll…top desk in a corner of
the room； lifted a forefinger and silently beckoned me to her side。 I
moved over and sat down by her； she took down my name and my age and
my weight and my height； and a number of other interesting facts that will
come in very handy should anyone ever be moved to write a complete
history of my early life。 In common with Doctor X she shared one
attributeshe manifested a deep curiosity regarding my forefathers
wanted to know all about them。 I felt that this was carrying the thing too
far。 I felt like saying to her：
〃Miss or madam； so far as I know there is nothing the matter with my
ancestors of the second and third generations back； except that they are
dead。 I am not here to seek medical assistance for a grandparent who
succumbed to disappointment that time when Samuel J。 Tilden got
counted out； or for a great…grandparent who entered into Eternal Rest very
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unexpectedly and in a manner entirely uncalled for as a result of being an
innocent bystander in one of those feuds that were so popular in my native
state immediately following the Mexican War。 Leave my ancestors alone。
There is no need of your shaking my family tree in the belief that a few
overripe patients will fall out。 I aloneI； me； myselfam the present
candidate！〃
However； I refrained from making this protest audibly。 I judged she
was only going according to the ritual； and as she had a printed card； with
blanks in it ready to be filled out with details regarding the remote
members of the family connection； I humored her along。
When I could not remember something she wished to know
concerning an ancestor I supplied her with thrilling details culled from the
field of fancy。 When the card was entirely filled up she sent me back to
my old place to wait。 I waited and waited； breeding fresh ailments all the
time。 I had started out with one symptom； now if I had one I had a
million and a half。 I could feel goose flesh sprouting out all over me。 If
I had been taller I might have had more； but not otherwise。 Such is the
power of the human imagination when the surroundings are favorable to
its development。
Time passed； to me it appeared that nearly all the time there was
passed and that we were getting along toward the shank…end of the
Christian era mighty fast。 I was afraid my turn would come next and
afraid it would not。 Perhaps you know this sensation。 You get it at the
dentist's； and when you are on the list of after…dinner speakers at a large
banquet； and when you are waiting for the father of the Only Girl in the
World to make up his mind whether he is willing to try to endure you as a
son…in…law。
Then some more time passed。
One by one my companions； obeying a command； passed out through
the door at the back； vanishing out of my life forever。 None of them
returned。 I was vaguely wondering whether Doctor Z buried his dead on
the premises or had them removed by a secret passageway in the rear；
when a young woman in a nurse's costume tapped me on the shoulder
from behind。
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I jumped。 She hid a compassionate smile with her hand and told me
that the doctor would see me now。
As I rose to follow herstill clinging with the drowning man's grip of
desperation to my hat and my umbrellaI was astonished to note by a
glance at the calendar on the wall that this was still the present date。 I
thought it would be Thursday of next week at the very least。
Doctor Z also wore whiskers； carefully pointed up by an expert hedge
trimmer。 He sat at his desk； surrounded by freewill offerings from
grateful patients and by glass cases containing other things he had taken
away from them when they were not in a condition to object。 I had
expected； after all the preliminary ceremonies and delays； that we should
have a long skance together。 Not so； not at all。 The modern expert in
surgery charges as much for remembering your name between visits as the
family doctor used to expect for staying up all night with you； but he does
not waste any time when you are in his presence。
I was about to find that out。 And a little later on I was to find out a
lot of other things； in fact； that whole week was of immense educational
value to me。
I presume it was because he stood high in his profession； and was
almost constantly engaged in going into the best society that Doctor Z did
not appear to be the least bit excited over my having picked him out to
look into me。 In the most perfunctory manner he shook the hand that has
shaken the hands of Jess Willard； George M。 Cohan and Henry Ford； and
bade me be seated in a chair which was drawn up in a strong light； where
he might gaze directly at me as we conversed and so get the full values of
the composition。 But if I was a treat for him to look at he concealed his
feelings very effectually。
He certainly had his emotions under splendid control。 But then； of
course； you must remember that he probably had traveled about
extensively and was used to sight…seeing。
From this point on everything passed off in a most businesslike
manner。 He reached into a filing cabinet and took out an exhibit； which I
recognized as the same one his secretary had filled out in the early part of
the century。 So I was already in the card…index class。 Then briefly he
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looked over the manifest that Doctor X had sent him。 It may not have
been a manifestit may have been an invoice or a bill of lading。 Anyhow
I was in the assignee's hands。 I could only hope it would not eventually
become necessary to call in a receiver。 Then he spoke：
〃Yes； yes…yes；〃 he said； 〃yes…yes…yes！ Operation required。 Small
matterhum； hum！ Let's seethis is Tuesday？ Quite so。 Do it Friday！
Friday at〃he glanced toward a scribbled pad of engagement dates at his
elbow〃Friday at seven A。 M。 No； make it seven…fifteen。 Have
important tumor case at seven。 St。 Germicide's Hospital。 You know the
placeup on Umpty…umph Street。 Go' day！ Miss Whoziz； call next
visitor。〃
And before I realized that practically the whole affair had been settled
I was outside the consultation…room in a small private hall； and the
secretary was telling me further details would be conveyed to me by mail。
I went home in a dazed state。 For the first time I was beginning to learn
something
