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would      trouble   me    to  spare    him   a  glass。   He    also  added�察   �somewhat 

illogically�察�that it really did not matter�察�seeing both Ethelbertha and Mrs。 

Harris were women of sense who would judge him better than to believe 

for a moment that the suggestion emanated from him。 



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     This little point settled�察�the question was�此        �What sort of a change�拭�

     Harris�察�as usual�察�was for the sea。          He said he knew a yacht�察�just the 

very   thingone   that   we   could   manage   by   ourselves�察  �no   skulking   lot   of 

lubbers   loafing   about�察  �adding   to   the   expense   and   taking   away   from   the 

romance。      Give him a handy boy�察�he would sail it himself。 We knew that 

yacht�察  �and   we   told   him   so�察  �we   had   been   on   it   with   Harris   before。 It 

smells   of bilge´water  and greens   to   the  exclusion   of   all   other  scents�察  �no 

ordinary sea air can hope to head against it。              So far as sense of smell is 

concerned�察�one might be spending a week in Limehouse Hole。                        There is 

no place to get out of the rain�察�the saloon is ten feet by four�察�and half of 

that is taken up by a stove�察�which falls to pieces when you go to light it。 

You have to take your bath on deck�察�and the towel blows overboard just as 

you step out of the tub。        Harris and the boy do all the interesting work 

the lugging and the reefing�察�the letting her go and the heeling her over�察�and 

all that sort of thing��leaving George and myself to do the peeling of the 

potatoes and the washing up。 

     ;Very well�察�then�察─�said Harris�察 �let's take a proper yacht�察�with a skipper�察�

and do the thing in style。; 

     That also I objected to。       I know that skipper�察�his notion of yachting is 

to lie in what he calls the ;offing�察─�where he can be well in touch with his 

wife and family�察�to say nothing of his favourite public´house。 

     Years    ago�察  �when    I  was   young    and   inexperienced�察     �I  hired  a  yacht 

myself。     Three things had combined to lead me into this foolishness�此                   �I 

had had a stroke of unexpected luck�察�Ethelbertha had expressed a yearning 

for sea air�察�and the very next morning�察�in taking up casually at the club a 

copy of the Sportsman�察�I had come across the following advertisement�此� 

       TO   YACHTSMEN。Unique   Opportunity。;Rogue�察─  �28´ton   Yawl。 

Owner�察�called away suddenly on business�察�is willing to let this superbly´ 

fitted ;greyhound of  the sea;   for any  period short   or long。            Two   cabins 

and   saloon�察  �pianette�察 �by Woffenkoff�察�new   copper。           Terms�察  �10   guineas   a 

week。Apply Pertwee and Co。�察�3A Bucklersbury。 

       It had seemed to me like the answer to a prayer。              ;The new copper; 

did   not   interest   me�察  �what   little   washing   we   might   want   could   wait�察  �I 

thought。     But the ;pianette by Woffenkoff; sounded alluring。                 I pictured 



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                              THREE MEN ON THE BUMMEL 



Ethelbertha   playing   in   the   eveningsomething   with   a   chorus�察  �in   which�察�

perhaps�察  �the   crew�察  �with   a   little   training�察  �might   joinwhile   our   moving 

home bounded�察 �greyhound´like�察─�over the silvery billows。 

     I took a cab and drove direct to 3A Bucklersbury。                  Mr。 Pertwee was 

an unpretentious´looking gentleman�察�who had an unostentatious office on 

the third   floor。    He  showed   me   a  picture in   water´colours   of  the  Rogue 

flying before the wind。         The deck was at an angle of 95 to the ocean。               In 

the picture no human beings were represented on the deck�察�I suppose they 

had   slipped   off。   Indeed�察  �I   do   not   see   how   anyone   could   have   kept   on�察�

unless nailed。      I pointed out this disadvantage to the agent�察�who�察�however�察�

explained       to  me    that   the   picture    represented      the   Rogue      doubling 

something       or  other    on   the  well´known       occasion     of  her   winning     the 

Medway Challenge Shield。 Mr。 Pertwee assumed that I knew all about the 

event�察�so that I did not like to ask any questions。                Two specks near the 

frame of the picture�察�which at first I had taken for moths�察�represented�察�it 

appeared�察     �the   second    and    third   winners    in   this  celebrated     race。    A 

photograph of the yacht at anchor off Gravesend was less impressive�察�but 

suggested more stability。          All answers to my inquiries being satisfactory�察�

I took the thing for a fortnight。 Mr。 Pertwee said it was fortunate I wanted 

it only for a fortnight´ ´later on I came to agree with him��the time fitting 

in   exactly   with   another   hiring。     Had   I   required   it   for   three   weeks   he 

would have been compelled to refuse me。 

     The   letting   being   thus   arranged�察  �Mr。   Pertwee   asked   me   if   I   had   a 

skipper in my eye。         That I had not was also fortunatethings seemed to 

be turning out luckily for me all round��because Mr。 Pertwee felt sure I 

could   not   do   better   than   keep   on   Mr。   Goyles�察  �at   present   in   chargean 

excellent skipper�察�so Mr。 Pertwee assured me�察�a man who knew the sea as 

a man knows his own wife�察�and who had never lost a life。 

     It   was   still   early   in   the   day�察  �and   the   yacht   was   lying   off   Harwich。   I 

caught   the   ten   forty´five   from  Liverpool   Street�察  �and   by  one   o'clock   was 

talking to Mr。 Goyles on deck。             He was a stout man�察�and had a fatherly 

way with him。        I told him my idea�察�which was to take the outlying Dutch 

islands    and   then   creep    up   to  Norway。      He    said�察  �Aye�察   �aye�察  �sir�察─ �and 

appeared quite enthusiastic about the trip�察�said he should enjoy it himself。 



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We   came   to   the   question   of   victualling�察  �and   he   grew   more   enthusiastic。 

The   amount   of   food   suggested   by   Mr。   Goyles�察  �I   confess�察  �surprised   me。 

Had we been living in the days of Drake and the Spanish Main�察�I should 

have     feared    he  was    arranging     for   something     illegal。    However�察      �he 

laughed   in   his   fatherly   way�察  �and   assured   me   we   were   not   overdoing   it。 

Anything left the crew would divide and take home with themit seemed 

this was the custom。        It appeared to me that I was providing for this crew 

for the winter�察�but I did not like to appear stingy�察�and said no more。                  The 

amount of drink required also surprised me。 I arranged for what I thought 

we should need for ourselves�察�and then Mr。 Goyles spoke up for the crew。 

I must say that for him�察�he did think of his men。 

     ;We   don't   want   anything   in   the   nature   of   an   orgie�察  �Mr。   Goyles�察─  �I 

suggested。 

     ;Orgie� ─�replied Mr。 Goyles�察 �why they'll take that little drop in their 

tea。; 

     He explained to me that his motto was�察�Get good men and treat them 

well。 

     ;They work better for you�察─�said Mr。 Goyles�察 �and they come again。; 

     Personally�察    �I  didn't   feel   I  wanted     them    to  come     again。    I   was 

beginning   to   take   a   dislike   to   them   before   I   had   seen   them�察  �I   regarded 

them as a greedy and guzzling crew。               But Mr。 Goyles was so cheerfully 

emphatic�察�and I was so inexperienced�察�that again I let him have his way。 

He     also  promised      that  even    in  this   department      he  would     see   to  it 

personally that nothing was wasted。 

     I also left him to engage the crew。          He said he could do the thing�察�and 

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