three men on the bummel(三个闲逛的人)-第54章
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little cheering； and less laughter。 Smiles and grave nods of approval are
considered as more seeming among German students。
A particular toast； called a Salamander； accorded to some guest as a
special distinction； is drunk with exceptional solemnity。
〃We will now；〃 says the chairman； 〃a Salamander rub〃 （〃Einen
Salamander reiben〃）。 We all rise； and stand like a regiment at attention。
〃Is the stuff prepared？〃 （〃Sind die stoffe parat？〃） demands the
chairman。
〃Sunt；〃 we answer； with one voice。
〃Ad exercitium Salamandri；〃 says the chairman； and we are ready。
〃Eins！〃 We rub our glasses with a circular motion on the table。
〃Zwei！〃 Again the glasses growl； also at 〃Drei！〃
〃Drink！〃 （〃Bibite！〃）
And with mechanical unison every glass is emptied and held on high。
〃Eins！〃 says the chairman。 The foot of every empty glass twirls upon
the table； producing a sound as of the dragging back of a stony beach by a
receding wave。
〃Zwei！〃 The roll swells and sinks again。
〃Drei！〃 The glasses strike the table with a single crash； and we are in
our seats again。
The sport at the Kneipe is for two students to insult each other （in play；
of course）； and to then challenge each other to a drinking duel。 An
umpire is appointed； two huge glasses are filled； and the men sit opposite
each other with their hands upon the handles； all eyes fixed upon them。
The umpire gives the word to go； and in an instant the beer is gurgling
down their throats。 The man who bangs his perfectly finished glass upon
the table first is victor。
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Strangers who are going through a Kneipe； and who wish to do the
thing in German style； will do well； before commencing proceedings； to
pin their name and address upon their coats。 The German student is
courtesy itself； and whatever his own state may be； he will see to it that； by
some means or another； his guest gets safely home before the morning。
But； of course； he cannot be expected to remember addresses。
A story was told me of three guests to a Berlin Kneipe which might
have had tragic results。 The strangers determined to do the thing
thoroughly。 They explained their intention； and were applauded； and
each proceeded to write his address upon his card； and pin it to the
tablecloth in front of him。 That was the mistake they made。 They should；
as I have advised； have pinned it carefully to their coats。 A man may
change his place at a table； quite unconsciously he may come out the other
side of it； but wherever he goes he takes his coat with him。
Some time in the small hours； the chairman suggested that to make
things more comfortable for those still upright； all the gentlemen unable to
keep their heads off the table should be sent home。 Among those to whom
the proceedings had become uninteresting were the three Englishmen。 It
was decided to put them into a cab in charge of a comparatively speaking
sober student； and return them。 Had they retained their original seats
throughout the evening all would have been well； but； unfortunately； they
had gone walking about； and which gentleman belonged to which card
nobody knew least of all the guests themselves。 In the then state of
general cheerfulness； this did not to anybody appear to much matter。
There were three gentlemen and three addresses。 I suppose the idea was
that even if a mistake were made； the parties could be sorted out in the
morning。 Anyhow； the three gentlemen were put into a cab； the
comparatively speaking sober student took the three cards in his hand； and
the party started amid the cheers and good wishes of the company。
There is this advantage about German beer： it does not make a man
drunk as the word drunk is understood in England。 There is nothing
objectionable about him； he is simply tired。 He does not want to talk； he
wants to be let alone； to go to sleep； it does not matter whereanywhere。
The conductor of the party stopped his cab at the nearest address。 He
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took out his worst case； it was a natural instinct to get rid of that first。 He
and the cabman carried it upstairs； and rang the bell of the Pension。 A
sleepy porter answered it。 They carried their burden in； and looked for a
place to drop it。 A bedroom door happened to be open； the room was
empty； could anything be better？… …they took it in there。 They relieved it
of such things as came off easily； and laid it in the bed。 This done； both
men； pleased with themselves； returned to the cab。
At the next address they stopped again。 This time； in answer to their
summons； a lady appeared； dressed in a tea gown； with a book in her hand。
The German student looked at the top one of two cards remaining in his
hand； and enquired if he had the pleasure of addressing Frau Y。 It
happened that he had； though so far as any pleasure was concerned that
appeared to be entirely on his side。 He explained to Frau Y。 that the
gentleman at that moment asleep against the wall was her husband。 The
reunion moved her to no enthusiasm； she simply opened the bedroom door；
and then walked away。 The cabman and the student took him in； and laid
him on the bed。 They did not trouble to undress him； they were feeling
tired！ They did not see the lady of the house again； and retired therefore
without adieus。
The last card was that of a bachelor stopping at an hotel。 They took
their last man； therefore； to that hotel； passed him over to the night porter；
and left him。
To return to the address at which the first delivery was made； what had
happened there was this。 Some eight hours previously had said Mr。 X。 to
Mrs。 X。： 〃I think I told you； my dear； that I had an invitation for this
evening to what； I believe； is called a Kneipe？〃
〃You did mention something of the sort；〃 replied Mrs。 X。 〃What is a
Kneipe？〃
〃Well； it's a sort of bachelor party； my dear； where the students meet to
sing and talk andand smoke； and all that sort of thing； you know。〃
〃Oh； well； I hope you will enjoy yourself！〃 said Mrs。 X。； who was a
nice woman and sensible。
〃It will be interesting；〃 observed Mr。 X。 〃I have often had a curiosity
to see one。 I may；〃 continued Mr。 X。；〃I mean it is possible； that I may
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be home a little late。〃
〃What do you call late？〃 asked Mrs。 X。
〃It is somewhat difficult to say；〃 returned Mr。 X。 〃You see these
students； they are a wild lot； and when they get togetherAnd then； I
believe； a good many toasts are drunk。 I don't know how it will affect me。
If I can see an opportunity I shall come away early； that is if I can
