bleak house(凄凉的房子)-第184章
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my own mind in this little pause； by some means； to see Richard
when I grew strong； and try to set him right。
“There are better subjects than these；” said my Guardian； “for
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such a joyful time as the time of our dear girl’s recovery。 And I had
a commission to broach one of them； as soon as I should begin to
talk。 When shall Ada come to see you； my love？”
I had been thinking of that too。 A little in connection with the
absent mirrors； but not much； for I knew my loving girl would be
changed by no change in my looks。
“Dear Guardian；” said I； “as I have shut her out so long—
though indeed； indeed； she is like the light to me—”
“I know it well； Dame Durden； well。”
He was so good； his touch expressed such endearing
compassion and affection； and the tone of his voice carried such
comfort into my heart； that I stopped for a little while； quite
unable to go on。 “Yes； yes； you are tired；” said he。 “Rest a little。”
“As I have kept Ada out so long；” I began afresh after a short
while； “I think I should like to have my own way a little longer；
Guardian。 It would be best to be away from here before I see her。
If Charley and I were to go to some country lodging as soon as I
can move； and if I had a week there； in which to grow stronger and
to be revived by the sweet air； and to look forward to the
happiness of having Ada with me again； I think it would be better
for us。”
I hope it was not a poor thing in me to wish to be a little more
used to my altered self； before I met the eyes of the dear girl I
longed so ardently to see； but it is the truth。 I did。 He understood
me； I was sure； but I was not afraid of that。 If it were a poor thing I
knew he would pass it over。
“Our spoilt little woman；” said my Guardian； “shall have her
own way even in her inflexibility； though at the price； I know； of
tears downstairs。 And see here！ Here is Boythorn； heart of
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chivalry； breathing such ferocious vows as never were breathed on
paper before； that if you don’t go and occupy his whole house； he
having already turned out of it expressly for that purpose； by
Heaven and by earth he’ll pull it down； and not leave one brick
standing on another！”
And my Guardian put a letter in my hand； without any ordinary
beginning such as “My dear Jarndyce；” but rushing at once into
the words； “I swear if Miss Summerson do not come down and
take possession of my house； which I vacate for her this day at one
o’clock； p。m。；” and then with the utmost seriousness； and in the
most emphatic terms； going on to make the extraordinary
declaration he had quoted。 We did not appreciate the writer the
less for laughing heartily over it； and we settled that I should send
him a letter of thanks on the morrow； and accept his offer。 It was a
most agreeable one to me； for all the places I could have thought
of； I should have liked to go to none so well as Chesney Wold。
“Now； little housewife；” said my Guardian； looking at his watch；
“I was strictly timed before I came upstairs； for you must not be
tired too soon； and my time has waned away to the last minute。 I
have one other petition。 Little Miss Flite； hearing a rumour that
you were ill； made nothing of walking down here—twenty miles；
poor soul； in a pair of dancing shoes—to inquire。 It was Heaven’s
mercy we were at home； or she would have walked back again。”
The old conspiracy to make me happy！ Everybody seemed to be
in it！
“Now； pet；” said my Guardian； “if it would not be irksome to
you to admit the harmless little creature one afternoon； before you
save Boythorn’s otherwise devoted house from demolition； I
believe you would make her prouder and better pleased with
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herself than I—though my eminent name is Jarndyce—could do in
a lifetime。”
I have no doubt he knew there would be something in the
simple image of the poor afflicted creature； that would fall like a
gentle lesson on my mind at that time。 I felt it as he spoke to me。 I
could not tell him heartily enough how ready I was to receive her。
I had always pitied her； never so much as now。 I had always been
glad of my little power to soothe her under her calamity； but
never； never； half so glad before。
We arranged a time for Miss Flite to come out by the coach； and
share my early dinner。 When my Guardian left me； I turned my
face away upon my couch； and prayed to be forgiven if I；
surrounded by such blessings； had magnified to myself the little
trial that I had to undergo。 The childish prayer of that old
birthday； when I had aspired to be industrious； contented； and
true…hearted； and to do some good to some one； and win some love
to myself if I could； came back into my mind with a reproachful
sense of all the happiness I had since enjoyed； and all the
affectionate hearts that had been turned towards me。 If I were
weak now； what had I profited by those mercies？ I repeated the
old childish prayer in its old childish words； and found that its old
peace had not departed from it。
My Guardian now came every day。 In a week or so more； I
could walk about our rooms； and hold long talks with Ada from
behind the window…curtain。 Yet I never saw her； for I had not as
yet the courage to look at the dear face； though I could have done
so easily without her seeing me。
On the appointed day Miss Flite arrived。 The poor little
creature ran into my room quite forgetful of her usual dignity； and
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crying from her very heart of hearts； “My dear Fitz…Jarndyce！” fell
upon my neck and kissed me twenty times。
“Dear me！” said she； putting her hand into her reticule； “I have
nothing here but documents； my dear Fitz…Jarndyce； I must
borrow a pocket…handkerchief。”
Charley gave her one； and the good creature certainly made use
of it； for she held it to her eyes with both hands； and sat so；
shedding tears for the next ten minutes。
“With pleasure； my dear Fitz…Jarndyce；” she was careful to
explain。 “Not the least pain。 Pleasure to see you well again。
Pleasure at having the honour of being admitted to see you。 I am
so much fonder of you； my love； than of the Chance
