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from   JARNDYCE   AND   JARNDYCE   the   cause   in   hand   which 

was   squeezed  dry  years   upon   years   ago。   The   short´hand   writers察

the   reporters   of   the   court察  and   the   reporters   of   the   newspapers察

invariably   decamp   with   the   rest   of   the   regulars   when   Jarndyce 

and Jarndyce comes on。   Their places are   a blank。 Standing  on a 

seat   at   the   side   of   the   hall察  the   better   to   peer   into   the   curtained 

sanctuary察is a little mad old woman in a squeezed bonnet察who is 

always in court察from its sitting to its rising察and always expecting 

some      incomprehensible         judgement      to   be   given   in   her   favour。 

Some say she really is察or was察a party to a suit察but no one knows 

for certain察because no one cares。 She carries some small litter in 

her reticule which she calls her documents principally  consisting 

of   paper   matches   and   dry   lavender。   A   sallow   prisoner   has   come 

up察   in  custody察   for   the  half´dozenth      time察   to  make    a   personal 

application   ^to   purge   himself   of      his   contempt察院     which察   being   a 

solitary     surviving      executor     who     has    fallen   into    a   state   of 

conglomeration about  accounts   of   which  it   is   not   pretended   that 

he had ever any knowledge察he is not at all likely ever to do。 In the 



Charles Dickens                                                       ElecBook Classics 


´ Page 12´

                                   Bleak House                                      12 



meantime  his   prospects   in   life  are  ended。   Another   ruined   suitor察

who   periodically   appears   from   Shropshire察  and   breaks   out   into 

efforts to address the Chancellor at the close of the day¨s business察

and     who    can   by   no   means     be   made     to  understand       that   the 

Chancellor       is  legally  ignorant     of  his   existence    after   making     it 

desolate for a quarter of a century察plants himself in a good place 

and keeps an eye on the Judge察ready to call out ^My Lord 院in a 

voice   of   sonorous   complaint察  on   the   instant   of   his   rising。   A   few 

lawyers¨ clerks and others who know this suitor by sight察linger察on 

the chance of his furnishing some fun察and enlivening the dismal 

weather a little。 

    Jarndyce and Jarndyce drones on。 This scarecrow of a suit has察

in course of time察become so complicated察that no man alive knows 

what it means。 The parties to it understand it least察but it has been 

observed that  no  two  Chancery  lawyers   can   talk   about  it  for  five 

minutes察     without    coming     to  a  total   disagreement       as  to  all  the 

premises。   Innumerable   children   have   been   born   into   the   cause察

innumerable young people have married into it察innumerable old 

people have died out of it。 Scores of persons have deliriously found 

themselves       made     parties    in   Jarndyce      and   Jarndyce察     without 

knowing   how   or   why察      whole     families   have    inherited    legendary 

hatreds   with   the   suit。   The   little   plaintiff   or   defendant察  who   was 

promised       a  new     rocking´horse      when     Jarndyce      and    Jarndyce 

should be settled察has grown up察possessed himself of a real horse察

and   trotted   away   into   the   other   world。   Fair   wards   of   court   have 

faded     into   mothers      and    grandmothers察       a  long    procession     of 

Chancellors has come in and gone out察the legion of bills in the suit 

have been transformed into mere bills of mortality察there are not 

three     Jarndyces      left  upon    the   earth   perhaps察    since    old   Tom 



Charles Dickens                                                      ElecBook Classics 


´ Page 13´

                                    Bleak House                                      13 



Jarndyce       in  despair     blew   his   brains    out   at  a  coffee´house      in 

Chancery   Lane察  but   Jarndyce   and   Jarndyce   still   drags   its   weary 

length before the Court察perennially hopeless。 

    Jarndyce and Jarndyce has passed into a joke。 That is the only 

good that has ever come of it。 It has been death to many察but it is a 

joke    in   the  profession。     Every     master     in  Chancery      has   had    a 

reference out of it。 Every master in Chancery has had a reference 

out   of   it。   Every   Chancellor   was   ^in   it察院  for   somebody   or   other察

when he was counsel at the bar。 Good things have been said about 

it by blue´nosed察bulbous´shoed old benchers察in  select port´wine 

committee   after   dinner   in   hall。   Articled   clerks   have   been   in   the 

habit of fleshing their legal wit upon it。 The last Lord Chancellor 

handled   it   neatly   when察  correcting   Mr   Blowers   the   eminent   silk 

gown      who   said   that   such   a   thing   might   happen      when     the  sky 

rained   potatoes察  he   observed   ^or   when   we   get   through   Jarndyce 

and Jarndyce察Mr Blowers察院a pleasantry that particularly tickled 

the maces察bags察and purses。 

    How  many  people   out  of   the   suit察  Jarndyce   and   Jarndyce   has 

stretched forth its unwholesome hand to spoil and corrupt察would 

be a very wide   question。   From  the   master察  upon   whose   impaling 

files   reams     of  dusty   warrants      in  Jarndyce      and   Jarndyce      have 

grimly writhed into many shapes察down to the copying clerk in the 

Six    Clerks¨    Office察   who    has   copied     his  tens    of  thousands      of 

Chancery´folio´pages under that eternal heading察no man¨s nature 

has   been made   better  by  it。   In   trickery察  evasion察  procrastination察

spoliation察botheration察under false pretences of all sorts察there are 

influences that can never come to good。 The very  solicitors¨ boys 

who have kept the wretched suitors at bay察by protesting time out 

of   mind   that   Mr   Chizzle察  Mizzle察  or   otherwise察  was   particularly 



Charles Dickens                                                       ElecBook Classics 


´ Page 14´

                                   Bleak House                                     14 



engaged   and      had    appointments       until  dinner察   may    have   got   an 

extra moral twist and shuffle into themselves out of Jarndyce and 

Jarndyce。 The receiver in the cause has acquired a goodly sum of 

money   by   it察  but   has   acquired   too   a   distrust   of   his   own   mother察

and a contempt for his own kind。 Chizzle察Mizzle察and   otherwise察

have lapsed into a habit of vaguely promising themselves that they 

will look   into  that  outstanding little   matter察  and   see   what can   be 

done   for   Drizzle!who   was   not   well        used!when   Jarndyce   and 

Jarndyce shall be got out of the   office。   Shirking  and   sharking察  in 

all their many varieties察have been sown broadcast by the ill´fated 

cause察and even those who have contemplated its history from the 

outermost circle of such evil察have been insensibly tempted into a 

loose way of letting bad things alone to take their own bad course察

and   a   loose   belief  that   if  the  world   go   wrong察   it   was察  in   some 

offhand manner察never meant to go right。 

    Thus察in the midst of the mud and at  the   heart  of  the   fog察  sits 

the Lord High Chancellor in his High Court of Chancery。 

    ^Mr Tangle察院says the Lord High Chancellor察latterly something 

restless under the eloquence of that learned gentleman。 

    ^Mlud察院  says   Mr   Tangle。   Mr   Tangle   knows   more   of   Jarndyce 

and Jarndyce than anybody。 He is famous for it!supposed never 

to have read anything else since he left school。 

    ^Have you nearly concluded your argument拭院

    ^Mlud察     no!variet

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