the life of william carey-第96章
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imony of mutual Christian love； and wished me to send a sermon or two for that purpose。 I have seriously intended it； and more than once sat down to accomplish it； but have as constantly been broken off from it。 Indolence is my prevailing sin； and to that are now added a number of avocations which I never thought of； I have also so continual a fear that I may at last fall some way or other so as to dishonour the Gospel that I have often desired that my name may be buried in oblivion； and indeed I have reason for those fears； for I am so prone to sin that I wonder every night that I have been preserved from foul crimes through the day； and when I escape a temptation I esteem it to be a miracle of grace which has preserved me。 I never was so fully persuaded as I am now that no habit of religion is a security from falling into the foulest crimes； and I need the immediate help of God every moment。 The sense of my continual danger has； I confess； operated strongly upon me to induce me to desire that no publication of a religious nature should be published as mine whilst I am alive。 Another reason is my sense of incapacity to do justice to any subject； or even to write good sense。 I have； it is true； been obliged to publish several things； and I can say that nothing but necessity could have induced me to do it。 They are； however； only grammatical works； and certainly the very last things which I should have written if I could have chosen for myself。〃
On 15th June 1833 the old man was still able to rejoice with others。 He addressed to his son Jonathan the only brief letter which the present writer possesses from his pen； in a hand as clear as that of a quarter of a century before：
〃MY DEAR JONATHANI congratulate you upon the good news you have received。 But am sorry Lucy continues so ill。 I am too weak to write more than to say your mother is as well as the weather will permit us to expect。 I could scarcely have been worse to live than I have been the last fortnight。Your affectionate father； W。 CAREY。〃
The hot season had then reached its worst。
His last letters were brief messages of love and hope to his two sisters in England。 On 27th July 1833 he wrote to them：
〃About a week ago so great a change took place in me that I concluded it was the immediate stroke of death； and all my children were informed of it and have been here to see me。 I have since that revived in an almost miraculous manner； or I could not have written this。 But I cannot expect it to continue。 The will of the Lord be done。 Adieu； till I meet you in a better world。Your affectionate brother； 〃W。 CAREY。〃
Two months later he was at his old work； able 〃now and then to read a proof sheet of the Scriptures。〃
〃SERAMPORE； 25th Sept。 1833。
〃MY DEAR SISTERSMy being able to write to you now is quite unexpected by me； and； I believe； by every one else； but it appears to be the will of God that I should continue a little time longer。 How long that may be I leave entirely with Him； and can only say； 'All the days of my appointed time will I wait till my change come。' I was； two months or more ago； reduced to such a state of weakness that it appeared as if my mind was extinguished； and my weakness of body； and sense of extreme fatigue and exhaustion； were such that I could scarcely speak； and it appeared that death would be no more felt than the removing from one chair to another。 I am now able to sit and to lie on my couch； and now and then to read a proof sheet of the Scriptures。 I am too weak to walk more than just across the house； nor can I stand even a few minutes without support。 I have every comfort that kind friends can yield； and feel； generally； a tranquil mind。 I trust the great point is settled； and I am ready to depart； but the time when； I leave with God。
〃3rd Oct。I am not worse than when I began this letter。I am； your very affectionate brother； WM。 CAREY。〃
His latest message to Christendom was sent on the 30th September； most appropriately to Christopher Anderson：〃As everything connected with the full accomplishment of the divine promises depends on the almighty power of God； pray that I and all the ministers of the Word may take hold of His strength； and go about our work as fully expecting the accomplishment of them all； which； however difficult and improbable it may appear； is certain； as all the promises of God are in Him； yea； and in Him； Amen。〃 Had he not； all his career； therefore expected and attempted great things？
He had had a chair fixed on a small platform； constructed after his own direction； that he might be wheeled through his garden。 At other times the chief gardener Hullodhur； reported to him the state of the collection of plants； then numbering about 2000。 Dr。 Marshman saw his friend daily； sometimes twice a day； and found him always what Lord Hastings had described him to be〃the cheerful old man。〃 On the only occasion on which he seemed sad； Dr。 Marshman as he was leaving the room turned and asked why。 With deep feeling the dying scholar looked to the others and said； 〃After I am gone Brother Marshman will turn the cows into my garden。〃 The reply was prompt； 〃Far be it from me； though I have not your botanical tastes； the care of the garden in which you have taken so much delight； shall be to me a sacred duty。〃34
Of strangers his most frequent visitor was the Governor…General's wife； Lady William Bentinck。 Her husband was in South India； and she spent most of her time in Barrackpore Park retreat opposite to Carey's house。 From her frequent converse with him； in his life as well as now； she studied the art of dying。 Daniel Wilson； Bishop of Calcutta； learned to delight in Serampore almost from the beginning of his long episcopate； and in later years he lived there more than in Calcutta。 On the 14th February 1833 he first visited Carey； 〃his interview with whom； confined as he was to his room； and apparently on the verge of the celestial world； was peculiarly affecting。〃 In the last of subsequent visits the young Bishop asked the dying missionary's benediction。 With all the talk was the same； a humble resignation to the will of God； firm trust in the Redeemer of sinners； a joyful gratitude for the wonderful progress of His Kingdom。 What a picture is this that his brethren sent home six weeks before he passed away。 〃Our aged and venerable brother feels himself growing gradually weaker。 He can scarcely rise from his couch； and it is with great difficulty that he is carried out daily to take the air。 Yet he is free from all pain as to disease； and his mind is in a most serene and happy state。 He is in full possession of his faculties； and； although with difficulty； on account of his weakness； he still converses with his friends from day to day。〃
The hottest season of the year crept wearily on during the month of May and the first week of June。 Each night he slept well； and each day he was moved to his couch in the dining…room for air。 There he lay； unable to articulate more than a word or two； but expressing by his joyful features union in prayer and interest in conversation。 On the 22nd May the English mail arrived with gladdening intelligence from Mr。 HopeGod's people were praying and giving anew for the mission。 Especially was his own latest station of Cherra…poonjee remembered。 As he was told that a lady； anonymously； had offered ？00 for that mission； ？00 for the college； ？00 for the translations； and ？00 for the mission generally； he raised his emaciated hands to heaven and murmured praise to God。 When the delirium of departure came he strove to reach his desk that he might write a letter of thanks； particularly for Cherra。 Then he would recall the fact that the little church he at first formed had branched out into six and twenty churches； in which the ordinances of the Gospel were regularly administered； and he would whisper； 〃What has God wrought！〃
The last Sabbath had comeand the last full day。 The constant Marshman was with him。 〃He was scarcely able to articulate； and after a little conversation I knelt down by the side of his couch and prayed with him。 Finding my mind unexpectedly drawn out to bless God for His goodness； in having preserved him and blessed him in In
