the ways of men(人们的手段)-第21章
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
inverse proportion to her personal means。 A man I knew some years ago
deliberately chose his bride from an impecunious family （in the hope that
her simple surroundings had inculcated homely taste）； and announced to
an incredulous circle of friends； at his last bachelor dinner； that he
intended； in future； to pass his evenings at his fireside； between his book
and his pretty spouse。 Poor； innocent； confiding mortal！ The wife quickly
became a belle of the fastest set in town。 Having had more than she
wanted of firesides and quiet evenings before her marriage； her idea was
to go about as much as possible； and； when not so occupied； to fill her
house with company。 It may be laid down as a maxim in this connection
that a man marries to obtain a home； and a girl to get away from one；
hence disappointment on both sides。
66
… Page 67…
THE WAYS OF MEN
The couple in question have in all probability not passed an evening
alone since they were married； the lady rarely stopping in the round of her
gayeties until she collapses from fatigue。 Their home is typical of their life；
which itself can be taken as a good example of the existence that most of
our 〃smart〃 people lead。 The ground floor and the first floor are given up
to entertaining。 The second is occupied by the spacious sitting； bath； and
sleeping rooms of the lady。 A ten…by…twelve chamber suffices for my lord；
and the only den he can rightly call his own is a small room near the front
door； about as private as the sidewalk； which is turned into a cloak…room
whenever the couple receive； making it impossible to keep books or
papers of value there； or even to use it as a smoking…room after dinner； so
his men guests sit around the dismantled dining…table while the ladies are
enjoying a suite of parlors above。
At first the idea of such an unequal division of the house shocks our
sense of justice； until we reflect that the American husband is not expected
to remain at home。 That's not his place！ If he is not down town making
money； fashion dictates that he must be at some club…house playing a
game。 A man who should remain at home； and read or chat with the ladies
of his family； would be considered a bore and unmanly。 There seems to be
no place in an American house for its head。 More than once when the
friend I have referred to has asked me； at the club； to dine informally with
him； we have found； on arriving； that Madame； having an evening off； had
gone to bed and forgotten to order any dinner； so we were obliged to
return to the club for our meal。 When； however； his wife is in good health；
she expects her weary husband to accompany her to dinner； opera； or ball；
night after night； oblivious of the work the morrow holds in store for him。
In one family I know； paterfamilias goes by the name of the 〃purse。〃
The more one sees of American households the more appropriate that
name appears。 Everything is expected of the husband； and he is accorded
no definite place in return。 He leaves the house at 8。30。 When he returns；
at five； if his wife is entertaining a man at tea； it would be considered the
height of indelicacy for him to intrude upon them； for his arrival would
cast a chill on the conversation。 When a couple dine out； the husband is
always LA BETE NOIRE of the hostess； no woman wanting to sit next to
67
… Page 68…
THE WAYS OF MEN
a married man； if she can help it。
The few Benedicts who have had the courage to break away from
these conditions and amuse themselves with yachts； salmon rivers； or
〃grass…bachelor〃 trips to Europe； while secretly admired by the women；
are frowned upon in society as dangerous examples； likely to sow the
seeds of discontent among their comrades； although it is the commonest
thing in the world for an American wife to take the children and go abroad
on a tour。
Imagine a German or Italian wife announcing to her spouse that she
had decided to run over to England for a year with her children； that they
might learn English。 The mind recoils in horror from the idea of the
catastrophe that would ensue。
Glance around a ball…room； a dinner party； or the opera； if you have
any doubts as to the unselfishness of our married men。 How many of them
do you suppose are present for their own pleasure？ The owner of an opera
box rarely retains a seat in his expensive quarters。 You generally find him
idling in the lobbies looking at his watch； or repairing to a neighboring
concert hall to pass the weary hours。 At a ball it is even worse。 One
wonders why card…rooms are not provided at large balls （as is the custom
abroad）； where the bored husbands might find a little solace over 〃bridge；〃
instead of yawning in the coat…room or making desperate signs to their
wives from the doorway； … signals of distress； by the bye； that rarely
produce any effect。
It is the rebellious husband who is admired and courted； however。 A
curious trait of human nature compels admiration for whatever is harmful；
and forces us； in spite of our better judgment； to depreciate the useful and
beneficent。 The coats… of…arms of all countries are crowded with eagles
and lions； that never yet did any good； living or dead； orators enlarge on
the fine qualities of these birds and beasts； and hold them up as models；
while using as terms of reproach the name of the goose or the cow；
creatures that minister in a hundred ways to our wants。 Such a spirit has
brought helpful； productive 〃better halves〃 to the humble place they now
occupy in the eyes of our people。
As long as men passed their time in fighting and carousing they were
68
… Page 69…
THE WAYS OF MEN
heroes； as soon as they became patient bread…winners all the romance
evaporated from their atmosphere。 The Jewish Hercules had his revenge in
the end and made things disagreeable for his tormentors。 So far； however；
there are no signs of a revolt among the shorn lambs in this country。 They
patiently bend their necks to the collar … the kindest； most loving and
devoted helpmates that ever plodded under the matrimonial yoke。
When in the East； one watches with admiration the part a donkey plays
in the economy of those primitive lands。 All the work is reserved for that
industrious animal； and little play falls to his share。 The camel is always
bad…tempered； and when overladen lies down； refusing to move until
relieved of its burden。 The Turk is lazy and selfish； the native women pass
their time in chattering and giggling； the children play and squabble； the
ubiquitous dog sleeps in the sun； but from daybreak to midnight the little
mouse…colored donkeys toil unceasingly。 All burdens too bulky or too
cumbersome for man are put on his back； the provender which horses and
camels have refused becomes his portion； he is the first to begin the day's
labor； and the last to turn in。 It is impossible to live long in the Orient or
the south of France without becoming attached to those gentle； willing
animals。 The role which honest 〃Bourico〃 fills so well a
