we two-第4章

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Raeburn　had　lost　his　mother　very　early；　his　father；　a　well…to…do　man；　had　held　for　many　years　a　small　living　in　the　west　of　Scotland。　　He　was　rather　a　clever　man；　but　one…sided　and　bigoted；　cold…hearted；　too；　and　caring　very　little　for　his　children。　　Of　Luke；　however；　he　was；　in　his　peculiar　fashion；　very　proud；　for　at　an　early　age　the　boy　showed　signs　of　genius。　　The　father　was　no　great　worker；　though　shrewd　and　clever；　he　had　no　ambition；　and　was　quietly　content　to　live　out　his　life　in　the　retired　little　parsonage　where；　with　no　parish　to　trouble　him；　and　a　small　and　unexacting　congregation　on　Sundays；　he　could　do　pretty　much　as　he　pleased。　　But　for　his　son　he　was　ambitious。　　Ever　since　his　sixteenth　yearwhen；　at　a　public　meeting　the　boy　had；　to　the　astonishment　of　every　one；　suddenly　sprung　to　his　feet　and　contradicted　a　false　statement　made　by　a　great　landowner　as　to　the　condition　of　the　cottages　on　his　estatethe　father　had　foreseen　future　triumphs　for　his　son。　　For　the　speech；　though　unpremeditated；　was　marvelously　clever；　and　there　was　a　power　in　it　not　to　be　accounted　for　by　a　certain　ring　of　indignation；　it　was　the　speech　of　a　future　orator。

Then；　too；　Luke　had　by　this　time　shown　signs　of　religious　zeal；　a　zeal　which　his　father；　though　far　from　attempting　to　copy；　could　not　but　admire。　　His　Sunday　services　over；　he　relapsed　into　the　comfortable；　easy…going　life　of　a　country　gentleman　for　the　rest　of　the　week；　but　his　son　was　indefatigable；　and；　though　little　more　than　a　boy　himself；　gathered　round　him　the　roughest　lads　of　the　village；　and　by　his　eloquence；　and　a　certain　peculiar　personal　fascination　which　he　retained　all　his　life；　absolutely　forced　them　to　listen　to　him。　　The　father　augured　great　things　for　him；　and　invariably　prophesied　that　he　would　〃live　to　see　him　a　bishop　yet。〃

It　was　a　settled　thing　that　he　should　take　Holy　Orders；　and　for　some　time　Raeburn　was　only　too　happy　to　carry　out　his　father's　plans。　　In　his　very　first　term　at　Cambridge；　however；　he　began　to　feel　doubts；　and；　becoming　convinced　that　he　could　never　again　accept　the　doctrines　in　which　he　had　been　educated；　he　told　his　father　that　he　must　give　up　all　thought　of　taking　Orders。

Now；　unfortunately；　Mr。　Raeburn　was　the　very　last　man　to　understand　or　sympathize　with　any　phase　of　life　through　which　he　had　not　himself　passed。　　He　had　never　been　troubled　with　religious　doubts；　　skepticism　seemed　to　him　monstrous　and　unnatural。　　He　met　the　confession；　which　his　son　had　made　in　pain　and　diffidence；　with　a　most　deplorable　want　of　tact。　　In　answer　to　the　perplexing　questions　which　were　put　to　him；　he　merely　replied　testily　that　Luke　had　been　overworking　himself；　and　that　he　had　no　business　to　trouble　his　head　with　matters　which　were　beyond　him；　and　would　fain　have　dismissed　the　whole　affair　at　once。

〃But；〃　urged　the　son；　〃how　is　it　possible　for　me　to　turn　my　back　on　these　matters　when　I　am　preparing　to　teach　them？〃

〃Nonsense；〃　replied　the　father；　angrily。　　〃Have　not　I　taught　all　my　life；　preached　twice　a　Sunday　these　thirty　years　without　perplexing　myself　with　your　questionings？　　Be　off　to　your　shooting；　and　your　golf；　and　let　me　have　no　more　of　this　morbid　fuss。〃

No　more　was　said；　but　Luke　Raeburn；　with　his　doubts　and　questions　shut　thus　into　himself；　drifted　rapidly　from　skepticism　to　the　most　positive　form　of　unbelief。　　When　he　next　came　home　for　the　long　vacation；　his　father　was　at　length　awakened　to　the　fact　that　the　son；　upon　whom　all　his　ambition　was　set；　was　hopelessly　lost　to　the　Church；　and　with　this　consciousness　a　most　bitter　sense　of　disappointment　rose　in　his　heart。　　His　pride；　the　only　side　of　fatherhood　which　he　possessed；　was　deeply　wounded；　and　his　dreams　of　honorable　distinction　were　laid　low。　　His　wrath　was　great。　　Luke　found　the　home　made　almost　unbearable　to　him。　　His　college　career　was　of　course　at　an　end；　for　his　father　would　not　hear　of　providing　him　with　the　necessary　funds　now　that　he　had　actually　confessed　his　atheism。　　He　was　hardly　allowed　to　speak　to　his　sisters；　every　request　for　money　to　start　him　in　some　profession　met　with　a　sharp　refusal；　and　matters　were　becoming　so　desperate　that　he　would　probably　have　left　the　place　of　his　own　accord　before　long；　had　not　Mr。　Raeburn　himself　put　an　end　to　a　state　of　things　which　had　grown　insufferable。

With　some　lurking　hope；　perhaps；　of　convincing　his　son；　he　resolved　upon　trying　a　course　of　argument。　　To　do　him　justice　he　really　tried　to　prepare　himself　for　it；　dragged　down　volumes　of　dusty　divines；　and　got　up　with　much　pains　Paley's　〃watch〃　argument。　　There　was　some　honesty；　even　perhaps　a　very　little　love；　in　his　mistaken　endeavors；　but　he　did　not　recognize　that　while　he　himself　was　unforgiving；　unloving；　harsh；　and　self…indulgent；　all　his　arguments　for　Christianity　were　of　necessity　null　and　void。　　He　argued　for　the　existence　of　a　perfectly　loving；　good　God；　all　the　while　treating　his　son　with　injustice　and　tyranny。　　Of　course　there　could　be　only　one　result　from　a　debate　between　the　two。　　Luke　Raeburn　with　his　honesty；　his　great　abilities；　his　gift　of　reasoning；　above　all　his　thorough　earnestness；　had　the　best　of　it。

To　be　beaten　in　argument　was　naturally　the　one　thing　which　such　a　man　as　Mr。　Raeburn　could　not　forgive。　　He　might　in　time　have　learned　to　tolerate　a　difference　of　opinion；　he　would　beyond　a　doubt　have　forgiven　almost　any　of　the　failings　that　he　could　understand；　would　have　paid　his　son's　college　debts　without　a　murmur；　would　have　overlooked　anything　connected　with　what　he　considered　the　necessary　process　of　〃sowing　his　wild　oats。〃　　But　that　the　fellow　should　presume　to　think　out　the　greatest　problems　in　the　world；　should　set　up　his　judgment　against　Paley's；　and　worst　of　all　should　actually　and　palpably　beat　HIM　in　argumentthis　was　an　unpardonable　offense。

A　stormy　scene　ensued。　　The　father；　in　ungovernable　fury；　heaped　upon　the　son　every　abusive　epithet　he　could　think　of。　　Luke　Raeburn　spoke　not　a　word；　he　was　strong　and　self…controlled；　moreover；　he　knew　that　he　had　had　the　best　of　the　argument。　　He　was　human；　however；　and　his　heart　was　wrung　by　his　father's　bitterness。　　Standing　there　on　that　summer　day；　in　the　study　of　the　Scotch　parsonage；　the　man's　future　was　sealed。　　He　suffered　there　the　loss　of　all　things；　but　at　the　very　time　there　sprung　up　in　him　an　enthusiasm　for　the　cause　of　free　thought；　a　passionate；　burning　zeal　for　the　opinions　for　which　he　suffered；　which　never　left　him；　but　served　as　the　great　moving　impulse　of　his　whole　subsequent　life。

〃I　tell　you；　you　are　not　fit　to　be　in　a　gentleman's　house；〃　thundered　the　father。　　〃A　rank　atheist；　a　lying　infidel！　　It　is　against　nature　that　you　should　call　a　parsonage　your　home。〃

〃It　is　not　particularly　home…like；〃　said　the　son；　bitterly。　　〃I　can　leave　it　when　you　please。〃

〃Can！〃　exclaimed　the　father；　in　a　fury；　〃you　WILL　leave　it；　sir；　and　this　very　day　too！　　I　disown　you　from　this　time。　　I'll　have　no　atheist　for　my　son！　　Change　your　views　or　leave　the　house　at　once。〃

Perhaps　he　expected　his　son　to　make　some　compromise；　if　so　he　showed　what　a　very　slight　knowledge　he　had　of　his　character。　　Luke　Raeburn　had　certainly　not　been　prepared　for　such　extreme　harshness；　but　with　the　pain　and　grief　and　indignation　there　rose　in　his　heart　a　mighty　resoluteness。　　With　a　face　as　hard　and　rugged　as　the　granite　rocks　without；　he　wished　his　father　goodbye；　and　obeyed　his　orders。

Then　had　followed　such　a　struggle　with　the　world　as　few　men　would　have　gone　through　with。　　Cut　off　from　all　friends　and　relations　by　his　avowal　of　atheism；　and　baffled　again　and　again　in　seeking　to　earn　his　living；　he　had　more　than　once　been　on　the　very　brink　of　starvation。　　By　sheer　force　of　will　he　had　won　his　way；　had　risen　above　adverse　circumstances；　had　fought　down　obstacles；　and　conquered　opposing　powers。　　Before　long　he　had　made　fresh　friends　and　gained　many　followers；　for　there　was　an　extraordinary　magnetism　about　the　man　which　almost　compelled　those　who　were　brought　into　contact　with　him　to　reverence　him。

It　was　a　curious　history。　　First　there　had　been　that　time　of　grievous　doubt；　then　he　had　been　thrown　upon　the　world　friendless　and　penniless；　with　the　beliefs　and　hopes　hitherto　most　sacred　to　him　d