we two-第69章

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The　last　words　were　spoken　with　a　sort　of　half…restrained　outburst；　as　if　the　pent…up　passion　must　find　some　outlet。

Mr。　Fane…Smith　was　startled。　　He　so　seldom　thought　of　Luke　Raeburn　as　a　fellow…being　at　all　that　perhaps　it　had　never　occurred　to　him　that　the　love　of　parent　to　child；　and　child　to　parent；　is　quite　independent　of　creed。

〃But；　my　dear；〃　he　said；　〃you　have　been　baptized。〃

〃I　have。〃

〃You　promised　to　renounce　the　devil　and　all　his　works。〃

〃I　did。〃

〃Then　how　can　you　hesitate　to　renounce　everything　connected　with　your　former　life？〃

〃Do　you　mean　to　imply　that　my　father　is　the　devil　or　one　of　his　works？〃

Mr。　Fane…Smith　was　silent。　　Erica　continued：

〃God's　Fatherhood　does　not　depend　on　our　knowledge　of　it；　or　acceptance　of　it；　it　is　a　fact　a　truth！　　How　then　can　any　one　dare　to　say　that　such　a　man　as　my　farther　is　a　work　of　the　devil？　　I　thought　the　sin　of　sins　was　to　attribute　to　the　devil　what　belongs　to　God！〃

〃You　are　in　a　very　peculiar　position；〃　said　Mr。　Fane…Smith；　uneasily。　　〃And　I　have　no　doubt　it　is　difficult　for　you　to　see　things　as　they　really　are。　　But　I；　who　can　look　at　the　matter　dispassionately；　can　see　that　your　remaining　in　your　old　home　would　be　most　dangerous；　and　not　only　that；　but　most　painful！　　To　live　in　a　house　where　you　hear　all　that　you　most　reverence　evil　spoken　of；　why；　the　pain　would　be　unspeakable！〃

〃I　know　that；〃　said　Erica；　in　a　low　voice；　〃I　have　found　that　I　admit　that　it　is　and　always　will　be　harder　to　bear　than　any　one　can　conceive　who　has　not　tried。　　But　to　shirk　pain　is　not　to　follow　Christ。　　As　to　danger；　if　you　will　forgive　my　saying　so；　I　should　find　a　luxurious　life　in　a　place　like　Greyshot　infinitely　more　trying。〃

〃Then　could　you　not　take　up　nursing？　　Or　go　into　some　sisterhood？　　Nothing　extreme；　you　know；　but　just　a　working　sisterhood。〃

Erica　smiled；　and　shook　her　head。

〃Why　should　I　try　to　make　another　vocation　when　God　has　already　given　me　one？〃

〃But；　my　dear；　consider　the　benefit　to　your　own　soul。〃

〃A　very　secondary　consideration！〃　exclaimed　Erica；　impetuously。

〃I　should　have　thought；〃　continued　Mr。　Fane…Smith；　〃that　under　such　strange　circumstances　you　would　have　seen　how　necessary　it　was　to　forsake　all。　　Think　of　St。　Matthew；　for　instance；　he　rose　up　at　once；　forsook　all；　and　followed　Him。〃

〃Yes；〃　said　Erica。　　〃And　what　was　the　very　first　thing　he　was　impelled　to　do　by　way　of　'following？'　　Why；　to　make　a　great　feast　and　have　in　all　his　old　friends；　all　the　despised　publicans。〃

〃My　dear　Erica；〃　said　Mr。　Fane…Smith；　feeling　his　theological　arguments　worsted；　〃we　must　discuss　this　matter　on　practical　grounds。　　In　plain　words；　your　father　is　a　very　bad　man；　and　you　ought　to　have　nothing　more　to　do　with　him。〃

Erica's　lips　turned　white　with　anger；　but　she　answered；　calmly：

〃That　is　a　very　great　accusation。　　How　do　you　know　it　is　true？〃

〃I　know　it　well　enough；〃　said　Mr。　Fane…Smith。　　〃Why；　every　one　in　England　knows　it。〃

〃If　you　accept　mere　hearsay　evidence；　you　may　believe　anything　of　any　one。　　Have　you　ever　read　any　of　my　father's　books？〃

〃No。〃

〃Or　heard　him　lecture？〃

〃No；　indeed；　I　would　not　hear　him　on　any　account。〃

〃Have　you　ever　spoken　with　any　of　his　intimate　friends？〃

〃Mr。　Raeburn's　acquaintances　are　not　likely　to　mix　with　any　one　I　should　know。〃

〃Then；〃　cried　Erica；　〃how　can　you　know　anything　whatever　about　him？　　And　how　how　DARE　you　say　to　me；　his　child；　that　he　is　a　wicked　man？〃

〃It　is　a　matter　of　common　notoriety。〃

〃No；〃　said　Erica；　〃there　you　are　wrong。　　It　is　notorious　that　my　father　teaches　conscientiously　teaches　much　that　we　regard　as　error；　but　people　who　openly　accuse　him　of　evil　living　find　to　their　cost　in　the　law　courts　that　they　have　foully　libeled　him。〃

She　flushed　even　now　at　the　thought　of　some　of　the　hateful　and　wicked　accusations　of　the　past。　　Then；　after　a　moment's　pause；　she　continued　more　warmly：

〃It　is　you　people　in　society　who　get　hold　of　some　misquoted　story；　some　ridiculous　libel　long　ago　crushed　at　the　cost　of　the　libeler　it　is　you　who　do　untold　mischief！　　Only　last　summer　I　remember　seeing　in　a　paper　the　truest　sentence　that　was　ever　written　of　my　father；　and　it　was　this；　'Probably　no　one　man　has　ever　had　to　endure　such　gross　personal　insults；　such　widespread　hostility；　such　perpetual　calumny。'　　Why　are　you　to　judge　him？　　Even　if　you　had　a　special　call　to　it；　how　could　you　justly　judge　him　when　you　will　not　hear　him；　or　know　him；　or　fairly　study　his　writings；　or　question　his　friends？　　How　can　you　know　anything　whatever　about　him？　　Why；　if　he　judged　you　and　your　party　as　you　judge　him；　you　would　be　furious！〃

〃My　dear；　you　speak　with　so　much　warmth；　if　you　would　only　discuss　things　calmly！〃　said　Mr。　Fane…Smith。　　〃Remember　what　George　Herbert　says：　'Calmness　is　a　great　advantage。'　　You　bring　too　much　feeling　to　the　discussion。〃

〃How　can　I　help　feeling　when　you　are　slandering　my　father？〃　exclaimed　Erica。　　〃I　have　tried　to　be　calm；　but　there　are　limits　to　endurance！　　Would　you　like　Rose　to　sit　silently　while　my　father　told　her　without　any　ground　that　you　were　a　wicked　man？〃

When　matters　were　reversed　in　this　crude　way；　Mr。　Fane…Smith　winced　a　little。

〃The　cases　are　different；〃　he　suggested。

〃Do　you　think　atheists　don't　love　their　children　as　much　as　Christians？〃　cried　Erica；　half　choked　with　indignant　anger。　　A　vision　of　the　past；　of　her　dead　mother；　of　her　father's　never…failing　tenderness　brought　a　cloud　of　tears　to　her　eyes。　　She　brushed　them　away。　　〃The　cases　are　different；　as　you　say；　but　does　a　man　care　less　for　his　home；　when　outside　it　he　is　badgered　and　insulted；　or　does　he　care　infinitely　more？　　Does　a　man　care　less　for　his　child　because；　to　get　her　food；　he　has　had　to　go　short　himself；　or　does　he　care　more？　　I　think　the　man　who　has　had　to　toil　with　all　his　might　for　his　family　loves　it　better　than　the　rich　man　can。　　You　say　I　speak　with　too　much　warmth；　too　much　feeling。　　My　complaint　is　the　other　way　I　can't　find　words　strong　enough　to　give　you　any　idea　of　what　my　father　has　always　been　to　me。　　To　leave　him　would　be　to　wrong　my　conscience；　and　to　forsake　my　duty；　and　to　distrust　God。　　I　will　NEVER　leave　him！〃

With　that　she　got　up　and　left　the　room；　and　Mr。　Fane…Smith　leaned　back　in　his　chair　with　a　sigh；　his　eyes　fixed　absently　upon　a　portrait　of　Napoleon　above　his　mantel　piece；　his　mind　more　completely　shaken　out　of　its　ordinary　grooves　than　it　had　been　for　years。　　He　was　a　narrow…minded　man；　but　he　was　honest。　　He　saw　that　he　had　judged　Raeburn　very　unfairly。　　But　perhaps　what　occupied　his　thoughts　the　most　was　the　question　〃Would　Rose　have　been　able　to　say　of　him　all　that　Erica　had　said　of　her　father？〃　　He　sighed　many　times；　but　after　awhile　slid　back　into　the　old　habits　of　thought。　　

〃Erica　is　a　brave；　noble；　little　thing；〃　he　said　to　himself；　〃but　far　from　orthodox　far　from　orthodox！　　Socinian　tendencies。〃


CHAPTER　XXVII。　At　Oak　Dene　Manor

Ah！　　To　how　many　faith　has　been　No　evidence　of　things　unseen；　But　a　dim　shadow　that　recasts　the　creed　of　the　Phantasiasts。

　*　　*　　*　　*

For　others　a　diviner　creed　Is　living　in　the　life　they　lead。　The　passing　of　their　beautiful　feet　Blesses　the　pavement　of　the　street；　And　all　their　looks　and　words　repeat　Old　Fuller's　saying　wise　and　sweet；　Not　as　a　vulture；　but　a　dove；　The　Holy　Ghost　came　from　above。

Tales　of　a　Wayside　Inn。　　Longfellow

During　the　interview　Erica　had　braced　herself　up　to　endure；　but　when　it　was　over　her　strength　all　at　once　evaporated。　　She　dragged　herself　upstairs　somehow；　and　had　just　reached　her　room；　when　Mrs。　Fane…Smith　met　her。　　She　was　preoccupied　with　her　own　anxieties；　or　Erica's　exhaustion　could　not　have　escaped　her　notice。

〃I　am　really　quite　unhappy　about　Rose！〃　she　exclaimed。　　〃We　must　send　for　Doctor　L_____。　　Her　cough　seems　so　much　worse；　I　fear　it　will　turn　to　bronchitis。　　Are　you　learned　in　such　things？〃

〃I　helped　to　nurse　Tom　through　a　bad　attack　once；〃　said　Erica。

〃Oh！　　Then　come　and　see　her；〃　said　Mrs。　Fane…Smith。

Erica　went　without　a　word。　　She　would　not　have　liked　Mrs。　Fane…Smith's　fussing；　but　yet　the　sight　of　her　care　for　Rose　made　her　feel　more　achingly　conscious　of　the　blank　in　her　own　life　that　blank　which　nothing　c