the way of all flesh-第13章

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The　Allabys　behaved　with　great　judgement。　　They　humoured　him　till
his　retreat　was　practically　cut　off；　though　he　still　flattered
himself　that　it　was　open。　　One　day　about　six　months　after　Theobald
had　become　an　almost　daily　visitor　at　the　Rectory　the　conversation
happened　to　turn　upon　long　engagements。　　〃I　don't　like　long
engagements；　Mr　Allaby；　do　you？〃　said　Theobald　imprudently。　　〃No；〃
said　Mr　Allaby　in　a　pointed　tone；　〃nor　long　courtships；〃　and　he　gave
Theobald　a　look　which　he　could　not　pretend　to　misunderstand。　　He
went　back　to　Cambridge　as　fast　as　he　could　go；　and　in　dread　of　the
conversation　with　Mr　Allaby　which　he　felt　to　be　impending；　composed
the　following　letter　which　he　despatched　that　same　afternoon　by　a
private　messenger　to　Crampsford。　　The　letter　was　as　follows：…


〃Dearest　Miss　Christina；I　do　not　know　whether　you　have　guessed　the
feelings　that　I　have　long　entertained　for　youfeelings　which　I　have
concealed　as　much　as　I　could　through　fear　of　drawing　you　into　an
engagement　which；　if　you　enter　into　it；　must　be　prolonged　for　a
considerable　time；　but；　however　this　may　be；　it　is　out　of　my　power
to　conceal　them　longer；　I　love　you；　ardently；　devotedly；　and　send
these　few　lines　asking　you　to　be　my　wife；　because　I　dare　not　trust
my　tongue　to　give　adequate　expression　to　the　magnitude　of　my
affection　for　you。

〃I　cannot　pretend　to　offer　you　a　heart　which　has　never　known　either
love　or　disappointment。　　I　have　loved　already；　and　my　heart　was
years　in　recovering　from　the　grief　I　felt　at　seeing　her　become
another's。　　That；　however；　is　over；　and　having　seen　yourself　I
rejoice　over　a　disappointment　which　I　thought　at　one　time　would　have
been　fatal　to　me。　　It　has　left　me　a　less　ardent　lover　than　I　should
perhaps　otherwise　have　been；　but　it　has　increased　tenfold　my　power
of　appreciating　your　many　charms　and　my　desire　that　you　should
become　my　wife。　　Please　let　me　have　a　few　lines　of　answer　by　the
bearer　to　let　me　know　whether　or　not　my　suit　is　accepted。　　If　you
accept　me　I　will　at　once　come　and　talk　the　matter　over　with　Mr　and
Mrs　Allaby；　whom　I　shall　hope　one　day　to　be　allowed　to　call　father
and　mother。

〃I　ought　to　warn　you　that　in　the　event　of　your　consenting　to　be　my
wife　it　may　be　years　before　our　union　can　be　consummated；　for　I
cannot　marry　till　a　college　living　is　offered　me。　　If；　therefore；
you　see　fit　to　reject　me；　I　shall　be　grieved　rather　than　surprised。…
…Ever　most　devotedly　yours；

〃THEOBALD　PONTIFEX。〃


And　this　was　all　that　his　public　school　and　University　education　had
been　able　to　do　for　Theobald！　　Nevertheless　for　his　own　part　he
thought　his　letter　rather　a　good　one；　and　congratulated　himself　in
particular　upon　his　cleverness　in　inventing　the　story　of　a　previous
attachment；　behind　which　he　intended　to　shelter　himself　if　Christina
should　complain　of　any　lack　of　fervour　in　his　behaviour　to　her。

I　need　not　give　Christina's　answer；　which　of　course　was　to　accept。
Much　as　Theobald　feared　old　Mr　Allaby　I　do　not　think　he　would　have
wrought　up　his　courage　to　the　point　of　actually　proposing　but　for
the　fact　of　the　engagement　being　necessarily　a　long　one；　during
which　a　dozen　things　might　turn　up　to　break　it　off。　　However　much　he
may　have　disapproved　of　long　engagements　for　other　people；　I　doubt
whether　he　had　any　particular　objection　to　them　in　his　own　case。　　A
pair　of　lovers　are　like　sunset　and　sunrise：　　there　are　such　things
every　day　but　we　very　seldom　see　them。　　Theobald　posed　as　the　most
ardent　lover　imaginable；　but；　to　use　the　vulgarism　for　the　moment　in
fashion；　it　was　all　〃side。〃　　Christina　was　in　love；　as　indeed　she
had　been　twenty　times　already。　　But　then　Christina　was
impressionable　and　could　not　even　hear　the　name　〃Missolonghi〃
mentioned　without　bursting　into　tears。　　When　Theobald　accidentally
left　his　sermon　case　behind　him　one　Sunday；　she　slept　with　it　in　her
bosom　and　was　forlorn　when　she　had　as　it　were　to　disgorge　it　on　the
following　Sunday；　but　I　do　not　think　Theobald　ever　took　so　much　as
an　old　toothbrush　of　Christina's　to　bed　with　him。　　Why；　I　knew　a
young　man　once　who　got　hold　of　his　mistress's　skates　and　slept　with
them　for　a　fortnight　and　cried　when　he　had　to　give　them　up。



CHAPTER　XII



Theobald's　engagement　was　all　very　well　as　far　as　it　went；　but　there
was　an　old　gentleman　with　a　bald　head　and　rosy　cheeks　in　a　counting…
house　in　Paternoster　Row　who　must　sooner　or　later　be　told　of　what
his　son　had　in　view；　and　Theobald's　heart　fluttered　when　he　asked
himself　what　view　this　old　gentleman　was　likely　to　take　of　the
situation。　　The　murder；　however；　had　to　come　out；　and　Theobald　and
his　intended；　perhaps　imprudently；　resolved　on　making　a　clean　breast
of　it　at　once。　　He　wrote　what　he　and　Christina；　who　helped　him　to
draft　the　letter；　thought　to　be　everything　that　was　filial；　and
expressed　himself　as　anxious　to　be　married　with　the　least　possible
delay。　　He　could　not　help　saying　this；　as　Christina　was　at　his
shoulder；　and　he　knew　it　was　safe；　for　his　father　might　be　trusted
not　to　help　him。　　He　wound　up　by　asking　his　father　to　use　any
influence　that　might　be　at　his　command　to　help　him　to　get　a　living；
inasmuch　as　it　might　be　years　before　a　college　living　fell　vacant；
and　he　saw　no　other　chance　of　being　able　to　marry；　for　neither　he
nor　his　intended　had　any　money　except　Theobald's　fellowship；　which
would；　of　course；　lapse　on　his　taking　a　wife。

Any　step　of　Theobald's　was　sure　to　be　objectionable　in　his　father's
eyes；　but　that　at　three…and…twenty　he　should　want　to　marry　a
penniless　girl　who　was　four　years　older　than　himself；　afforded　a
golden　opportunity　which　the　old　gentlemanfor　so　I　may　now　call
him；　as　he　was　at　least　sixtyembraced　with　characteristic
eagerness。

〃The　ineffable　folly；〃　he　wrote；　on　receiving　his　son's　letter；　〃of
your　fancied　passion　for　Miss　Allaby　fills　me　with　the　gravest
apprehensions。　　Making　every　allowance　for　a　lover's　blindness；　I
still　have　no　doubt　that　the　lady　herself　is　a　well…conducted　and
amiable　young　person；　who　would　not　disgrace　our　family；　but　were
she　ten　times　more　desirable　as　a　daughter…in…law　than　I　can　allow
myself　to　hope；　your　joint　poverty　is　an　insuperable　objection　to
your　marriage。　　I　have　four　other　children　besides　yourself；　and　my
expenses　do　not　permit　me　to　save　money。　　This　year　they　have　been
especially　heavy；　indeed　I　have　had　to　purchase　two　not
inconsiderable　pieces　of　land　which　happened　to　come　into　the　market
and　were　necessary　to　complete　a　property　which　I　have　long　wanted
to　round　off　in　this　way。　　I　gave　you　an　education　regardless　of
expense；　which　has　put　you　in　possession　of　a　comfortable　income；　at
an　age　when　many　young　men　are　dependent。　　I　have　thus　started　you
fairly　in　life；　and　may　claim　that　you　should　cease　to　be　a　drag
upon　me　further。　　Long　engagements　are　proverbially　unsatisfactory；
and　in　the　present　case　the　prospect　seems　interminable。　　What
interest；　pray；　do　you　suppose　I　have　that　I　could　get　a　living　for
you？　　Can　I　go　up　and　down　the　country　begging　people　to　provide　for
my　son　because　he　has　taken　it　into　his　head　to　want　to　get　married
without　sufficient　means？

〃I　do　not　wish　to　write　unkindly；　nothing　can　be　farther　from　my
real　feelings　towards　you；　but　there　is　often　more　kindness　in　plain
speaking　than　in　any　amount　of　soft　words　which　can　end　in　no
substantial　performance。　　Of　course；　I　bear　in　mind　that　you　are　of
age；　and　can　therefore　please　yourself；　but　if　you　choose　to　claim
the　strict　letter　of　the　law；　and　act　without　consideration　for　your
father's　feelings；　you　must　not　be　surprised　if　you　one　day　find
that　I　have　claimed　a　like　liberty　for　myself。Believe　me；　your
affectionate　father；　　G。　PONTIFEX。〃


I　found　this　letter　along　with　those　already　given　and　a　few　more
which　I　need　not　give；　but　throughout　which　the　same　tone　prevails；
and　in　all　of　which　there　is　the　more　or　less　obvious　shake　of　the
will　near　the　end　of　the　letter。　　Remembering　Theobald's　general
dumbness　concerning　his　father　for　the　many　years　I　knew　him　after
his　father's　death；　there　was　an　eloquence　in　the　preservation　of
the　letters　and　in　their　endorsement　〃Letters　from　my　father；〃　whic