the way of all flesh-第65章

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enough　to　draw　a　veil　over　this　part　of　my　hero's　career；　but　cannot
do　so　without　marring　my　story。

In　the　spring　of　1859　I　find　him　writing　…


〃I　cannot　call　the　visible　Church　Christian　till　its　fruits　are
Christian；　that　is　until　the　fruits　of　the　members　of　the　Church　of
England　are　in　conformity；　or　something　like　conformity；　with　her
teaching。　　I　cordially　agree　with　the　teaching　of　the　Church　of
England　in　most　respects；　but　she　says　one　thing　and　does　another；
and　until　excommunicationyes；　and　wholesale　excommunicationbe
resorted　to；　I　cannot　call　her　a　Christian　institution。　　I　should
begin　with　our　Rector；　and　if　I　found　it　necessary　to　follow　him　up
by　excommunicating　the　Bishop；　I　should　not　flinch　even　from　this。

〃The　present　London　Rectors　are　hopeless　people　to　deal　with。　　My
own　is　one　of　the　best　of　them；　but　the　moment　Pryer　and　I　show
signs　of　wanting　to　attack　an　evil　in　a　way　not　recognised　by
routine；　or　of　remedying　anything　about　which　no　outcry　has　been
made；　we　are　met　with；　'I　cannot　think　what　you　mean　by　all　this
disturbance；　nobody　else　among　the　clergy　sees　these　things；　and　I
have　no　wish　to　be　the　first　to　begin　turning　everything　topsy…
turvy。'　　And　then　people　call　him　a　sensible　man。　　I　have　no
patience　with　them。　　However；　we　know　what　we　want；　and；　as　I　wrote
to　Dawson　the　other　day；　have　a　scheme　on　foot　which　will；　I　think；
fairly　meet　the　requirements　of　the　case。　　But　we　want　more　money；
and　my　first　move　towards　getting　this　has　not　turned　out　quite　so
satisfactorily　as　Pryer　and　I　had　hoped；　we　shall；　however；　I　doubt
not；　retrieve　it　shortly。〃


When　Ernest　came　to　London　he　intended　doing　a　good　deal　of　house…
to…house　visiting；　but　Pryer　had　talked　him　out　of　this　even　before
he　settled　down　in　his　new　and　strangely…chosen　apartments。　　The
line　he　now　took　was　that　if　people　wanted　Christ；　they　must　prove
their　want　by　taking　some　little　trouble；　and　the　trouble　required
of　them　was　that　they　should　come　and　seek　him；　Ernest；　out；　there
he　was　in　the　midst　of　them　ready　to　teach；　if　people　did　not　choose
to　come　to　him　it　was　no　fault　of　his。

〃My　great　business　here；〃　he　writes　again　to　Dawson；　〃is　to　observe。
I　am　not　doing　much　in　parish　work　beyond　my　share　of　the　daily
services。　　I　have　a　man's　Bible　Class；　and　a　boy's　Bible　Class；　and
a　good　many　young　men　and　boys　to　whom　I　give　instruction　one　way　or
another；　then　there　are　the　Sunday　School　children；　with　whom　I　fill
my　room　on　a　Sunday　evening　as　full　as　it　will　hold；　and　let　them
sing　hymns　and　chants。　　They　like　this。　　I　do　a　great　deal　of
readingchiefly　of　books　which　Pryer　and　I　think　most　likely　to
help；　we　find　nothing　comparable　to　the　Jesuits。　　Pryer　is　a
thorough　gentleman；　and　an　admirable　man　of　businessno　less
observant　of　the　things　of　this　world；　in　fact；　than　of　the　things
above；　by　a　brilliant　coup　he　has　retrieved；　or　nearly　so；　a　rather
serious　loss　which　threatened　to　delay　indefinitely　the　execution　of
our　great　scheme。　　He　and　I　daily　gather　fresh　principles。　　I
believe　great　things　are　before　me；　and　am　strong　in　the　hope　of
being　able　by　and　by　to　effect　much。

〃As　for　you　I　bid　you　God　speed。　　Be　bold　but　logical；　speculative
but　cautious；　daringly　courageous；　but　properly　circumspect　withal；〃
etc。；　etc。

I　think　this　may　do　for　the　present。



CHAPTER　LV



I　had　called　on　Ernest　as　a　matter　of　course　when　he　first　came　to
London；　but　had　not　seen　him。　　I　had　been　out　when　he　returned　my
call；　so　that　he　had　been　in　town　for　some　weeks　before　I　actually
saw　him；　which　I　did　not　very　long　after　he　had　taken　possession　of
his　new　rooms。　　I　liked　his　face；　but　except　for　the　common　bond　of
music；　in　respect　of　which　our　tastes　were　singularly　alike；　I
should　hardly　have　known　how　to　get　on　with　him。　　To　do　him　justice
he　did　not　air　any　of　his　schemes　to　me　until　I　had　drawn　him　out
concerning　them。　　I；　to　borrow　the　words　of　Ernest's　landlady；　Mrs
Jupp；　〃am　not　a　very　regular　church…goer〃I　discovered　upon　cross…
examination　that　Mrs　Jupp　had　been　to　church　once　when　she　was
churched　for　her　son　Tom　some　five　and　twenty　years　since；　but　never
either　before　or　afterwards；　not　even；　I　fear；　to　be　married；　for
though　she　called　herself　〃Mrs〃　she　wore　no　wedding　ring；　and　spoke
of　the　person　who　should　have　been　Mr　Jupp　as　〃my　poor　dear　boy's
father；〃　not　as　〃my　husband。〃　　But　to　return。　　I　was　vexed　at
Ernest's　having　been　ordained。　　I　was　not　ordained　myself　and　I　did
not　like　my　friends　to　be　ordained；　nor　did　I　like　having　to　be　on
my　best　behaviour　and　to　look　as　if　butter　would　not　melt　in　my
mouth；　and　all　for　a　boy　whom　I　remembered　when　he　knew　yesterday
and　to…morrow　and　Tuesday；　but　not　a　day　of　the　week　morenot　even
Sunday　itselfand　when　he　said　he　did　not　like　the　kitten　because
it　had　pins　in　its　toes。

I　looked　at　him　and　thought　of　his　aunt　Alethea；　and　how　fast　the
money　she　had　left　him　was　accumulating；　and　it　was　all　to　go　to
this　young　man；　who　would　use　it　probably　in　the　very　last　ways　with
which　Miss　Pontifex　would　have　sympathised。　　I　was　annoyed。　　〃She
always　said；〃　I　thought　to　myself；　〃that　she　should　make　a　mess　of
it；　but　I　did　not　think　she　would　have　made　as　great　a　mess　of　it　as
this。〃　　Then　I　thought　that　perhaps　if　his　aunt　had　lived　he　would
not　have　been　like　this。

Ernest　behaved　quite　nicely　to　me　and　I　own　that　the　fault　was　mine
if　the　conversation　drew　towards　dangerous　subjects。　　I　was　the
aggressor；　presuming　I　suppose　upon　my　age　and　long　acquaintance
with　him；　as　giving　me　a　right　to　make　myself　unpleasant　in　a　quiet
way。

Then　he　came　out；　and　the　exasperating　part　of　it　was　that　up　to　a
certain　point　he　was　so　very　right。　　Grant　him　his　premises　and　his
conclusions　were　sound　enough；　nor　could　I；　seeing　that　he　was
already　ordained；　join　issue　with　him　about　his　premises　as　I　should
certainly　have　done　if　I　had　had　a　chance　of　doing　so　before　he　had
taken　orders。　　The　result　was　that　I　had　to　beat　a　retreat　and　went
away　not　in　the　best　of　humours。　　I　believe　the　truth　was　that　I
liked　Ernest；　and　was　vexed　at　his　being　a　clergyman；　and　at　a
clergyman　having　so　much　money　coming　to　him。

I　talked　a　little　with　Mrs　Jupp　on　my　way　out。　　She　and　I　had
reckoned　one　another　up　at　first　sight　as　being　neither　of　us　〃very
regular　church…goers；〃　and　the　strings　of　her　tongue　had　been
loosened。　　She　said　Ernest　would　die。　　He　was　much　too　good　for　the
world　and　he　looked　so　sad　〃just　like　young　Watkins　of　the　'Crown'
over　the　way　who　died　a　month　ago；　and　his　poor　dear　skin　was　white
as　alablaster；　least…ways　they　say　he　shot　hisself。　　They　took　him
from　the　Mortimer；　I　met　them　just　as　I　was　going　with　my　Rose　to
get　a　pint　o'　four　ale；　and　she　had　her　arm　in　splints。　　She　told
her　sister　she　wanted　to　go　to　Perry's　to　get　some　wool；　instead　o'
which　it　was　only　a　stall　to　get　me　a　pint　o'　ale；　bless　her　heart；
there's　nobody　else　would　do　that　much　for　poor　old　Jupp；　and　it's　a
horrid　lie　to　say　she　is　gay；　not　but　what　I　like　a　gay　woman；　I　do：
I'd　rather　give　a　gay　woman　half…a…crown　than　stand　a　modest　woman　a
pot　o'　beer；　but　I　don't　want　to　go　associating　with　bad　girls　for
all　that。　　So　they　took　him　from　the　Mortimer；　they　wouldn't　let　him
go　home　no　more；　and　he　done　it　that　artful　you　know。　　His　wife　was
in　the　country　living　with　her　mother；　and　she　always　spoke
respectful　o'　my　Rose。　　Poor　dear；　I　hope　his　soul　is　in　Heaven。
Well　Sir；　would　you　believe　it；　there's　that　in　Mr　Pontifex's　face
which　is　just　like　young　Watkins；　he　looks　that　worrited　and
scrunched　up　at　times；　but　it's　never　for　the　same　reason；　for　he
don't　know　nothing　at　all；　no　more　than　a　unborn　babe；　no　he　don't；
why　there's　not　a　monkey　going　about　London　with　an　Italian　organ
grinder　but　knows　more　than　Mr　Pontifex　do。　　He　don't　knowwell　I
suppose〃

Here　a　child　came　in　on　an　errand　from　some　neighbour　and
interrupted　her；　or　I　can　form　no　idea　where　or　when　she　would　have
ended　her　discourse。　　I　seized　the　opportunity　to　run　away；　but　not
before　I　had　given　her　five　shillings　and　made　her　write　down　my
address；　for　I　was　a　little　frighte