passages from an old volume of life-第4章
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ead and nothing to eat； it will be a favorable moment to offer a compromise。 At present we have all that nature absolutely demands；we can live on bread and the newspaper。
MY HUNT AFTER 〃THE CAPTAIN。〃
In the dead of the night which closed upon the bloody field of Antietam； my household was startled from its slumbers by the loud summons of a telegraphic messenger。 The air had been heavy all day with rumors of battle； and thousands and tens of thousands had walked the streets with throbbing hearts； in dread anticipation of the tidings any hour might bring。
We rose hastily； and presently the messenger was admitted。 I took the envelope from his hand； opened it； and read：
HAGERSTOWN 17th
To__________ H ______
Capt H______ wounded shot through the neck thought not mortal at Keedysville
WILLIAM G。 LEDUC
Through the neck；no bullet left in wound。 Windpipe； food…pipe； carotid； jugular； half a dozen smaller； but still formidable vessels； a great braid of nerves； each as big as a lamp…wick； spinal cord； ought to kill at once； if at all。 Thought not mortal； or not thought mortal；which was it？ The first； that is better than the second would be。 …〃Keedysville； a post…office； Washington Co。； Maryland。〃 Leduc？ Leduc？ Don't remember that name。 The boy is waiting for his money。 A dollar and thirteen cents。 Has nobody got thirteen cents？ Don't keep that boy waiting；how do we know what messages he has got to carry？
The boy had another message to carry。 It was to the father of Lieutenant…Colonel Wilder Dwight； informing him that his son was grievously wounded in the same battle； and was lying at Boonsborough； a town a few miles this side of Keedysville。 This I learned the next morning from the civil and attentive officials at the Central Telegraph Office。
Calling upon this gentleman； I found that he meant to leave in the quarter past two o'clock train； taking with him Dr。 George H。 Gay； an accomplished and energetic surgeon； equal to any difficult question or pressing emergency。 I agreed to accompany them； and we met in the cars。 I felt myself peculiarly fortunate in having companions whose society would be a pleasure； whose feelings would harmonize with my own； and whose assistance I might； in case of need； be glad to claim。
It is of the journey which we began together； and which I finished apart； that I mean to give my 〃Atlantic〃 readers an account。 They must let me tell my story in my own way； speaking of many little matters that interested or amused me； and which a certain leisurely class of elderly persons； who sit at their firesides and never travel； will； I hope； follow with a kind of interest。 For； besides the main object of my excursion； I could not help being excited by the incidental sights and occurrences of a trip which to a commercial traveller or a newspaper…reporter would seem quite commonplace and undeserving of record。 There are periods in which all places and people seem to be in a conspiracy to impress us with their individuality； in which every ordinary locality seems to assume a special significance and to claim a particular notice； in which every person we meet is either an old acquaintance or a character； days in which the strangest coincidences are continually happening； so that they get to be the rule； and not the exception。 Some might naturally think that anxiety and the weariness of a prolonged search after a near relative would have prevented my taking any interest in or paying any regard to the little matters around me。 Perhaps it had just the contrary effect； and acted like a diffused stimulus upon the attention。 When all the faculties are wide…awake in pursuit of a single object； or fixed in the spasm of an absorbing emotion； they are oftentimes clairvoyant in a marvellous degree in respect to many collateral things； as Wordsworth has so forcibly illustrated in his sonnet on the Boy of Windermere； and as Hawthorne has developed with such metaphysical accuracy in that chapter of his wondrous story where Hester walks forth to meet her punishment。
Be that as it may；though I set out with a full and heavy heart； though many times my blood chilled with what were perhaps needless and unwise fears； though I broke through all my habits without thinking about them； which is almost as hard in certain circumstances as for one of our young fellows to leave his sweetheart and go into a Peninsular campaign； though I did not always know when I was hungry nor discover that I was thirsting； though I had a worrying ache and inward tremor underlying all the outward play of the senses and the mind； yet it is the simple truth that I did look out of the car… windows with an eye for all that passed； that I did take cognizance of strange sights and singular people； that I did act much as persons act from the ordinary promptings of curiosity； and from time to time even laugh very much as others do who are attacked with a convulsive sense of the ridiculous； the epilepsy of the diaphragm。
By a mutual compact； we talked little in the cars。 A communicative friend is the greatest nuisance to have at one's side during a railroad journey； especially if his conversation is stimulating and in itself agreeable。 〃A fast train and a 'slow' neighbor；〃 is my motto。 Many times； when I have got upon the cars； expecting to be magnetized into an hour or two of blissful reverie； my thoughts shaken up by the vibrations into all sorts of new and pleasing patterns； arranging themselves in curves and nodal points； like the grains of sand in Chladni's famous experiment；fresh ideas coming up to the surface； as the kernels do when a measure of corn is jolted in a farmer's wagon；all this without volition； the mechanical impulse alone keeping the thoughts in motion； as the mere act of carrying certain watches in the pocket keeps them wound up；many times； I say； just as my brain was beginning to creep and hum with this delicious locomotive intoxication； some dear detestable friend； cordial； intelligent； social； radiant； has come up and sat down by me and opened a conversation which has broken my day…dream； unharnessed the flying horses that were whirling along my fancies and hitched on the old weary omnibus…team of every…day associations； fatigued my hearing and attention； exhausted my voice； and milked the breasts of my thought dry during the hour when they should have been filling themselves full of fresh juices。 My friends spared me this trial。
So； then； I sat by the window and enjoyed the slight tipsiness produced by short； limited； rapid oscillations； which I take to be the exhilarating stage of that condition which reaches hopeless inebriety in what we know as sea…sickness。 Where the horizon opened widely； it pleased me to watch the curious effect of the rapid movement of near objects contrasted with the slow motion of distant ones。 Looking from a right…hand window； for instance； the fences close by glide swiftly backward； or to the right； while the distant hills not only do not appear to move backward； but look by contrast with the fences near at hand as if they were moving forward； or to the left； and thus the whole landscape becomes a mighty wheel revolving about an imaginary axis somewhere in the middle…distance。
My companions proposed to stay at one of the best…known and longest… established of the New…York caravansaries； and I accompanied them。 We were particularly well lodged； and not uncivilly treated。 The traveller who supposes that he is to repeat the melancholy experience of Shenstone； and have to sigh over the reflection that he has found 〃his warmest welcome at an inn；〃 has something to learn at the offices of the great city hotels。 The unheralded guest who is honored by mere indifference may think himself blessed with singular good…fortune。 If the despot of the Patent…Annunciator is only mildly contemptuous in his manner； let the victim look upon it as a personal favor。 The coldest welcome that a threadbare curate ever got at the door of a bishop's palace； the most icy reception that a country cousin ever received at the city mansion of a mushroom millionaire； is agreeably tepid； compared to that which the Rhadamanthus who dooms you to the more or less elevated circle of
