the professor at the breakfast table-第18章

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citizens　cannot　be　had　at　a　day's　notice。　　Now；　then；　for　a　surprise…

party！



A　bag　of　flour；　a　barrel　of　potatoes；　some　strings　of　onions；　a

basket　of　apples；　a　big　cake　and　many　little　cakes；　a　jug　of

lemonade；　a　purse　stuffed　with　bills　of　the　more　modest

denominations；　may；　perhaps；　do　well　enough　for　the　properties　in　one

of　these　private　theatrical　exhibitions。　　The　minister　of　the　parish；

a　tender…hearted；　quiet；　hard…working　man；　living　on　a　small　salary；

with　many　children；　sometimes　pinched　to　feed　and　clothe　them；

praying　fervently　every　day　to　be　blest　in　his　〃basket　and　store；〃

but　sometimes　fearing　he　asks　amiss；　to　judge　by　the　small　returns；

has　the　first　role；not；　however；　by　his　own　choice；　but　forced　upon

him。　　The　minister's　wife；　a　sharp…eyed；　unsentimental　body；　is　first

lady；　the　remaining　parts　by　the　rest　of　the　family。　　If　they　only

had　a　playbill；　it　would　run　thus：





　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　ON　TUESDAY　NEXT

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　WILL　BE　PRESENTED

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　THE　AFFECTING　SCENE

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　CALLED



　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　THE　SURPRISE…PARTY



　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　OR



　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　THE　OVERCOME　FAMILY；





WITH　THE　FOLLOWING　STRONG　CAST　OF　CHARACTERS。



The　Rev。　　Mr。　Overcome；　by　the　Clergyman　of　this　Parish。

Mrs。　　Overcome；　by　his　estimable　lady。

Masters　Matthew；　Mark；　Luke；　and　John　Overcome；

Misses　Dorcas；　Tabitha；　Rachel；　and　Hannah；　Overcome；　by　their

interesting　children。

Peggy；　by　the　female　help。



The　poor　man　is　really　grateful；it　is　a　most　welcome　and　unexpected

relief。　　He　tries　to　express　his　thanks；his　voice　falters；he

chokes；and　bursts　into　tears。　　That　is　the　great　effect　of　the

evening。　　The　sharp…sighted　lady　cries　a　little　with　one　eye；　and

counts　the　strings　of　onions；　and　the　rest　of　the　things；　with　the

other。　　The　children　stand　ready　for　a　spring　at　the　apples。　　The

female　help　weeps　after　the　noisy　fashion　of　untutored　handmaids。



Now　this　is　all　very　well　as　charity；　but　do　let　the　kind　visitors

remember　they　get　their　money's　worth。　　If　you　pay　a　quarter　for　dry

crying；　done　by　a　second…rate　actor；　how　much　ought　you　to　pay　for

real　hot；　wet　tears；　out　of　the　honest　eyes　of　a　gentleman　who　is　not

acting；　but　sobbing　in　earnest？



All　I　meant　to　say；　when　I　began；　was；　that　this　was　not　a　surprise…

party　where　I　read　these　few　lines　that　follow：



We　will　not　speak　of　years　to…night；

For　what　have　years　to　bring；

But　larger　floods　of　love　and　light

And　sweeter　songs　to　sing？



We　will　not　drown　in　wordy　praise

The　kindly　thoughts　that　rise；

If　friendship　owns　one　tender　phrase；

He　reads　it　in　our　eyes。



We　need　not　waste　our　schoolboy　art

To　gild　this　notch　of　time；

Forgive　me；　if　my　wayward　heart

Has　throbbed　in　artless　rhyme。



Enough　for　him　the　silent　grasp

That　knits　us　hand　in　hand；

And　he　the　bracelet's　radiant　clasp

That　locks　our　circling　band。



Strength　to　his　hours　of　manly　toil！

Peace　to　his　starlit　dreams！

Who　loves　alike　the　furrowed　soil；

The　music…haunted　streams！



Sweet　smiles　to　keep　forever　bright

The　sunshine　on　his　lips；

And　faith；　that　sees　the　ring　of　light

Round　Nature's　last　eclipse！





One　of　our　boarders　has　been　talking　in　such　strong　language　that　I

am　almost　afraid　to　report　it。　　However；　as　he　seems　to　be　really

honest　and　is　so　very　sincere　in　his　local　prejudices；　I　don't

believe　anybody　will　be　very　angry　with　him。



It　is　here；　Sir！　　right　here！said　the　little　deformed　gentleman；

in　this　old　new　city　of　Boston；this　remote　provincial　corner　of　a

provincial　nation；　that　the　Battle　of　the　Standard　is　fighting；　and

was　fighting　before　we　were　born；　and　will　be　fighting　when　we　are

dead　and　gone；please　God！　　The　battle　goes　on　everywhere　throughout

civilization；　but　here；　here；　here　is　the　broad　white　flag　flying

which　proclaims；　first　of　all；　peace　and　good…will　to　men；　and；　next

to　that；　the　absolute；　unconditional　spiritual　liberty　of　each

individual　immortal　soul！　　The　three…hilled　city　against　the　seven…

hilled　city！　　That　is　it；　Sir；nothing　less　than　that；　and　if　you

know　what　that　means；　I　don't　think　you'll　ask　for　anything　more。　　I

swear　to　you；　Sir；　I　believe　that　these　two　centres　of　civilization

are　just　exactly　the　two　points　that　close　the　circuit　in　the　battery

of　our　planetary　intelligence！　　And　I　believe　there　are　spiritual

eyes　looking　out　from　Uranus　and　unseen　Neptune；ay；　Sir；　from　the

systems　of　Sirius　and　Arcturus　and　Aldebaran；　and　as　far　as　that

faint　stain　of　sprinkled　worlds　confluent　in　the　distance　that　we

call　the　nebula　of　Orion；looking　on；　Sir；　with　what　organs　I　know

not；　to　see　which　are　going　to　melt　in　that　fiery　fusion；　the

accidents　and　hindrances　of　humanity　or　man　himself；　Sir；the

stupendous　abortion；　the　illustrious　failure　that　he　is；　if　the

three…hilled　city　does　not　ride　down　and　trample　out　the　seven…hilled

city！



Steam　's　up！said　the　young　man　John；　so　called；　in　a　low　tone。

Three　hundred　and　sixty…five　tons　to　the　square　inch。　　Let　him　blow

her　off；　or　he'll　bu'st　his　b'iler。



The　divinity…student　took　it　calmly；　only　whispering　that　he　thought

there　was　a　little　confusion　of　images　between　a　galvanic　battery　and

a　charge　of　cavalry。



But　the　Koh…i…noorthe　gentleman；　you　remember；　with　a　very　large

diamond　in　his　shirt…front　laughed　his　scornful　laugh；　and　made　as　if

to　speak。



Sail　in；　Metropolis！said　that　same　young　man　John；　by　name。　　And

then；　in　a　lower　lane；　not　meaning　to　be　heard；Now；　then；　Ma'am

Allen！



But　he　was　heard；and　the　Koh…i…noor's　face　turned　so　white　with

rage；　that　his　blue…black　moustache　and　beard　looked　fearful；　seen

against　it。　　He　grinned　with　wrath；　and　caught　at　a　tumbler；　as　if　he

would　have　thrown　it　or　its　contents　at　the　speaker。　　The　young

Marylander　fixed　his　clear；　steady　eye　upon　him；　and　laid　his　hand　on

his　arm；　carelessly　almost；　but　the　Jewel　found　it　was　held　so　that

he　could　not　move　it。　　It　was　of　no　use。　　The　youth　was　his　master　in

muscle；　and　in　that　deadly　Indian　hug　in　which　men　wrestle　with　their

eyes；over　in　five　seconds；　but　breaks　one　of　their　two　backs；　and

is　good　for　threescore　years　and　ten；one　trial　enough；settles　the

whole　matter；just　as　when　two　feathered　songsters　of　the　barnyard；

game　and　dunghill；　come　together；…after　a　jump　or　two　at　each　other；

and　a　few　sharp　kicks；　there　is　the　end　of　it；　and　it　is；　Apres　vous；

Monsieur；　with　the　beaten　party　in　all　the　social　relations　for　all

the　rest　of　his　days。



I　cannot　philosophically　account　for　the　Koh…i…noor's　wrath。　　For

though　a　cosmetic　is　sold；　bearing　the　name　of　the　lady　to　whom

reference　was　made　by　the　young　person　John；　yet；　as　it　is　publicly

asserted　in　respectable　prints　that　this　cosmetic　is　not　a　dye；　I　see

no　reason　why　he　should　have　felt　offended　by　any　suggestion　that　he

was　indebted　to　it　or　its　authoress。



I　have　no　doubt　that　there　are　certain　exceptional　complexions　to

which　the　purple　tinge；　above　alluded　to；　is　natural。　　Nature　is

fertile　in　variety。　　I　saw　an　albiness　in　London　once；　for　sixpence；

（including　the　inspection　of　a　stuffed　boa…constrictor；）　who　looked

as　if　she　had　been　boiled　in　milk。　　A　young　Hottentot　of　my

acquaintance　had　his　hair　all　in　little　pellets　of　the　size　of

marrow…fat　peas。　　One　of　my　own　classmates　has　undergone　a　singular

change　of　late　years；his　hair　losing　its　original　tint；　and　getting

a　remarkable　discolored　look；　and　another　has　ceased　to　cultivate　any

hair　at　all　over　the　vertex　or　crown　of　the　head。　　So　I　am　perfectly

willing　to　believe　that　the　purple…black　of　the　Koh…i…noor's

moustache　and　whiskers　is　constitutional　and　not　pigmentary。　　But　I

can't　think　why　he　got　so　angry。



The　intelligent　reader　will　understand　that　all　this　pantomime　of　the

threatened　onslaught　and　its　suppression　passed　so　quickly　that　it

was　all　over　by