the professor at the breakfast table-第66章
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remarkable interview with him; which I shall briefly relate; without
attempting to justify the positions taken by the Little Gentleman。
He found him weak; but calm。 Iris sat silent by his pillow。
After the usual preliminaries; the divinity…student said; in a kind
way; that he was sorry to find him in failing health; that he felt
concerned for his soul; and was anxious to assist him in making
preparations for the great change awaiting him。
I thank you; Sir;said the Little Gentleman; permit me to ask you;
what makes you think I am not ready for it; Sir; and that you can do
anything to help me; Sir?
I address you only as a fellow…man;said the divinity…student;and
therefore a fellow…sinner。
I am not a man; Sir! said the Little Gentleman。 I was born into
this world the wreck of a man; and I shall not be judged with a race
to which I do not belong。 Look at this! he said; and held up his
withered arm。 See there! and he pointed to his misshapen
extremities。 Lay your hand here! and he laid his own on the
region of his misplaced heart。 I have known nothing of the life of
your race。 When I first came to my consciousness; I found myself an
object of pity; or a sight to show。 The first strange child I ever
remember hid its face and would not come near me。 I was a broken…
hearted as well as broken…bodied boy。 I grew into the emotions of
ripening youth; and all that I could have loved shrank from my
presence。 I became a man in years; and had nothing in common with
manhood but its longings。 My life is the dying pang of a worn…out
race; and I shall go down alone into the dust; out of this world of
men and women; without ever knowing the fellowship of the one or the
love of the other。 I will not die with a lie rattling in my throat。
If another state of being has anything worse in store for me; I have
had a long apprenticeship to give me strength that I may bear it。 I
don't believe it; Sir! I have too much faith for that。 God has not
left me wholly without comfort; even here。 I love this old place
where I was born;the heart of the world beats under the three
hills of Boston; Sir! I love this great land; with so many tall men
in it; and so many good; noble women。 His eyes turned to the
silent figure by his pillow。 I have learned to accept meekly what
has been allotted to me; but I cannot honestly say that I think my
sin has been greater than my suffering。 I bear the ignorance and
the evil…doing of whole generations in my single person。 I never
drew a breath of air nor took a step that was not a punishment for
another's fault。 I may have had many wrong thoughts; but I cannot
have done many wrong deeds;for my cage has been a narrow one; and
I have paced it alone。 I have looked through the bars and seen the
great world of men busy and happy; but I had no part in their
doings。 I have known what it was to dream of the great passions;
but since my mother kissed me before she died; no woman's lips have
pressed my cheek;nor ever will。
The young girl's eyes glittered with a sudden film; and almost
without a thought; but with a warm human instinct that rushed up
into her face with her heart's blood; she bent over and kissed him。
It was the sacrament that washed out the memory of long years of
bitterness; and I should hold it an unworthy thought to defend her。
The Little Gentleman repaid her with the only tear any of us ever
saw him shed。
The divinity…student rose from his place; and; turning away from the
sick man; walked to the other side of the room; where he bowed his
head and was still。 All the questions he had meant to ask had faded
from his memory。 The tests he had。 prepared by which to judge of
his fellow…creature's fitness for heaven seemed to have lost their
virtue。 He could trust the crippled child of sorrow to the Infinite
Parent。 The kiss of the fair…haired girl had been like a sign from
heaven; that angels watched over him whom he was presuming but a
moment before to summon before the tribunal of his private judgment。
Shall I pray with you?he said; after a pause。 A little before he
would have said; Shall I pray for you?The Christian religion; as
taught by its Founder; is full of sentiment。 So we must not blame
the divinity…student; if he was overcome by those yearnings of human
sympathy which predominate so much more in the sermons of the Master
than in the writings of his successors; and which have made the
parable of the Prodigal Son the consolation of mankind; as it has
been the stumbling…block of all exclusive doctrines。
Pray! said the Little Gentleman。
The divinity…student prayed; in low; tender tones;
Iris and the Little Gentleman that God would look on his servant
lying helpless at the feet of his mercy; that He would remember his
long years of bondage in the flesh; that He would deal gently with
the bruised reed。 Thou hast visited the sins of the fathers upon
this their child。 Oh; turn away from him the penalties of his own
transgressions! Thou hast laid upon him; from infancy; the cross
which thy stronger children are called upon to take up; and now that
he is fainting under it; be Thou his stay; and do Thou succor him
that is tempted! Let his manifold infirmities come between him and
Thy judgment; in wrath remember mercy! If his eyes are not opened
to all Thy truth; let Thy compassion lighten the darkness that rests
upon him; even as it came through the word of thy Son to blind
Bartimeus; who sat by the wayside; begging!
Many more petitions he uttered; but all in the same subdued tone of
tenderness。 In the presence of helpless suffering; and in the fast…
darkening shadow of the Destroyer; he forgot all but his Christian
humanity; and cared more about consoling his fellow…man than making
a proselyte of him。
This was the last prayer to which the Little Gentleman ever
listened。 Some change was rapidly coming over him during this last
hour of which I have been speaking。 The excitement of pleading his
cause before his self…elected spiritual adviser;the emotion which
overcame him; when the young girl obeyed the sudden impulse of her
feelings and pressed her lips to his cheek;the thoughts that
mastered him while the divinity…student poured out his soul for him
in prayer; might well hurry on the inevitable moment。 When the
divinity…student had uttered his last petition; commending him to
the Father through his Son's intercession; he turned to look upon
him before leaving his chamber。 His face was changed。 There is a
language of the human countenance which we all understand without an
interpreter; though the lineaments belong to the rudest savage that
ever stammered in an unknown barbaric dialect。 By the stillness of
the sharpened features; by the blankness of the tearless eyes; by
the fixedness of the smileless mouth; by the deadening tints; by the
contracted brow; by the dilating nostril; we know that the soul is
soon to leave its mortal tenement; and is already closing up its
windows and putting out its fires。 Such was the aspect of the face
upon which the divinity…student looked; after the brief silence
which followed his prayer。 The change had been rapid; though not
that abrupt one which is liable to happen at any moment in these
cases。 The sick man looked towards him。 Farewell;he said;I
thank you。 Leave me alone with her。
When the divinity…student had gone; and the Little Gentleman found
himself alone with Iris; he lifted his hand to his neck; and took
from it; suspended by a slender chain; a quaint; antique…looking
key;the same key I had once seen him holding。 He gave this to
her; and pointed to a carved cabinet opposite his bed; one of those
that had so attracted my curious eyes and set me wondering as to
what it might contain。
Open it;he said;and light the lamp。 The young girl walked to
the cabinet and unlocked the door。 A deep recess appeared; lined
with black velvet; against which