curious republic of gondour-第3章
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Of our Lord one thousand eight
Hundred six…and…fifty；
Between Joanna S。 E。 Gray
And Philip Gray； her husband；
Of Salem City in the State
Of Texas； of the first part；
And O。 B。 Johnson； of the town
Of Austin； ditto； WITNESSETH：
That said party of first part；
For and in consideration
Of the sum of Twenty Thousand
Dollars； lawful money of
The U。 S。 of Americay；
To them in hand now paid by said
Party of the second part；
The due receipt whereof is here…
By confessed and acknowledg…ed
Having Granted； Bargained； Sold； Remised；
Released and Aliened and Conveyed；
Confirmed； and by these presents do
Grant and Bargain； Sell； Remise；
Alien； Release； Convey； and Con…
Firm unto the said aforesaid
Party of the second part；
And to his heirs and assigns
Forever and ever ALL
That certain lot or parcel of
LAND situate in city of
Dunkirk； County of Chautauqua；
And likewise furthermore in York State
Bounded and described； to…wit；
As follows； herein； namely
BEGINNING at the distance of
A hundred two…and…forty feet；
North…half…east； north…east…by north；
East…north…east and northerly
Of the northerly line of Mulligan street
On the westerly line of Brannigan street；
And running thence due northerly
On Brannigan street 200 feet；
Thence at right angles westerly；
North…west…by…west…and…west…half…west；
West…and…by…north； north…west…by…west；
About
I kind of dodged； and the boot…jack broke the looking…glass。 I could
have waited to see what became of the other missiles if I had wanted to；
but I took no interest in such things。
INTRODUCTORY TO 〃MEMORANDA〃
In taking upon myself the burden of editing a department in THE GALAXY
magazine； I have been actuated by a conviction that I was needed； almost
imperatively； in this particular field of literature。 I have long felt
that while the magazine literature of the day had much to recommend it；
it yet lacked stability； solidity； weight。 It seemed plain to me that
too much space was given to poetry and romance； and not enough to
statistics and agriculture。 This defect it shall be my earnest endeavour
to remedy。 If I succeed； the simple consciousness that I have done a
good deed will be a sufficient reward。** ＇**Together with salary。＇
In this department of mine the public may always rely upon finding
exhaustive statistical tables concerning the finances of the country；
the ratio of births and deaths； the percentage of increase of population；
etc。； etc。in a word； everything in the realm of statistics that can
make existence bright and beautiful。
Also； in my department will always be found elaborate condensations of
the Patent Office Reports； wherein a faithful endeavour will at all times
be made to strip the nutritious facts bare of that effulgence of
imagination and sublimity of diction which too often mar the excellence
of those great works。** ＇** N。 B。No other magazine in the country
makes a specialty of the Patent Office Reports。＇
In my department will always be found ample excerpts from those able
dissertations upon Political Economy which I have for a long time been
contributing to a great metropolitan journal； and which； for reasons
utterly incomprehensible to me； another party has chosen to usurp the
credit of composing。
And； finally； I call attention with pride to the fact that in my
department of the magazine the farmer will always find full market
reports； and also complete instructions about farming； even from the
grafting of the seed to the harrowing of the matured crop。 I shall throw
a pathos into the subject of Agriculture that will surprise and delight
the world。
Such is my programme； and I am persuaded that by adhering to it with
fidelity I shall succeed in materially changing the character of this
magazine。 Therefore I am emboldened to ask the assistance and
encouragement of all whose sympathies are with Progress and Reform。
In the other departments of the magazine will be found poetry； tales； and
other frothy trifles； and to these the reader can turn for relaxation
from time to time； and thus guard against overstraining the powers of his
mind。
M。 T。
P。 S。1。 I have not sold out of the 〃Buffalo Express；〃 and shall not；
neither shall I stop writing for it。 This remark seems necessary in a
business point of view。
2。 These MEMORANDA are not a 〃humorous〃 department。 I would not conduct
an exclusively and professedly humorous department for any one。 I would
always prefer to have the privilege of printing a serious and sensible
remark； in case one occurred to me； without the reader's feeling obliged
to consider himself outraged。 We cannot keep the same mood day after
day。 I am liable； some day； to want to print my opinion on
jurisprudence； or Homeric poetry； or international law； and I shall do
it。 It will be of small consequence to me whether the reader survive or
not。 I shall never go straining after jokes when in a cheerless mood； so
long as the unhackneyed subject of international law is open to me。
I will leave all that straining to people who edit professedly and
inexorably 〃humorous〃 departments and publications。
3。 I have chosen the general title of MEMORANDA for this department
because it is plain and simple； and makes no fraudulent promises。 I can
print under it statistics； hotel arrivals； or anything that comes handy；
without violating faith with the reader。
4。 Puns cannot be allowed a place in this department。 Inoffensive
ignorance； benignant stupidity； and unostentatious imbecility will always
be welcomed and cheerfully accorded a corner； and even the feeblest
humour will be admitted； when we can do no better； but no circumstances；
however dismal； will ever be considered a sufficient excuse for the
admission of that lastand saddest evidence of intellectual poverty； the
Pun。
ABOUT SMELLS
In a recent issue of the 〃Independent；〃 the Rev。 T。 De Witt Talmage； of
Brooklyn； has the following utterance on the subject of 〃Smells〃：
I have a good Christian friend who； if he sat in the front pew in
church； and a working man should enter the door at the other end；
would smell him instantly。 My friend is not to blame for the
sensitiveness of his nose； any more than you would flog a pointer
for being keener on the scent than a stupid watch dog。 The fact is；
if you； had all the churches free； by reason of the mixing up of the
common people with the uncommon； you would keep one…half of
Christendom sick at their stomach。 If you are going to kill the
church thus with bad smells； I will have nothing to do with this
work of evangelization。
We have reason to believe that there will be labouring men in heaven； and
also a number of negroes； and Esquimaux； and Terra del Fuegans； and
Arabs； and a few Indians； and possibly even some Spaniards and
Portuguese。 All things are possible with God。 We shall have all these
sorts of people in heaven； but； alas！ in getting them we shall lose the
society of Dr。 Talmage。 Which is to say； we shall lose the company of
one who could give more real 〃tone〃 to celestial society than any other
contribution Brooklyn could furnish。 And what would eternal happiness be
without the Doctor？ Blissful； unquesti
