half a life-time ago-第13章

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come　in；　and　take　something　warm；　while　your　horse　rests。　　That's　the

stable…door；　to　your　left。〃



Susan　took　her　horse　there；　loosened　his　girths；　and　rubbed　him　down

with　a　wisp　of　straw。　　Then　she　hooked　about　her　for　hay；　but　the

place　was　bare　of　feed；　and　smelt　damp　and　unused。　　She　went　to　the

house；　thankful　for　the　respite；　and　got　some　clap…bread；　which　she

mashed　up　in　a　pailful　of　lukewarm　water。　　Every　moment　was　a

respite；　and　yet　every　moment　made　her　dread　the　more　the　task　that

lay　before　her。　　It　would　be　longer　than　she　thought　at　first。　　She

took　the　saddle　off；　and　hung　about　her　horse；　which　seemed；　somehow；

more　like　a　friend　than　anything　else　in　the　world。　　She　laid　her

cheek　against　its　neck；　and　rested　there；　before　returning　to　the

house　for　the　last　time。



Eleanor　had　brought　down　one　of　her　own　gowns；　which　hung　on　a　chair

against　the　fire；　and　had　made　her　unknown　visitor　a　cup　of　hot　tea。

Susan　could　hardly　bear　all　these　little　attentions：　　they　choked

her；　and　yet　she　was　so　wet；　so　weak　with　fatigue　and　excitement；

that　she　could　neither　resist　by　voice　or　by　action。　　Two　children

stood　awkwardly　about；　puzzled　at　the　scene；　and　even　Eleanor　began

to　wish　for　some　explanation　of　who　her　strange　visitor　was。



〃You've；　maybe；　heard　him　speaking　of　me？　　I'm　called　Susan　Dixon。〃



Nelly　coloured；　and　avoided　meeting　Susan's　eye。



〃I've　heard　other　folk　speak　of　you。　　He　never　named　your　name。〃



This　respect　of　silence　came　like　balm　to　Susan：　　balm　not　felt　or

heeded　at　the　time　it　was　applied；　but　very　grateful　in　its　effects

for　all　that。



〃He　is　at　my　house；〃　continued　Susan；　determined　not　to　stop　or

quaver　in　the　operationthe　pain　which　must　be　inflicted。



〃At　your　house？　　Yew　Nook？〃　questioned　Eleanor；　surprised。　　〃How　came

he　there？〃half　jealously。　　〃Did　he　take　shelter　from　the　coming

storm？　　Tell　me；there　is　somethingtell　me；　woman！〃



〃He　took　no　shelter。　　Would　to　God　he　had！〃



〃O！　would　to　God！　would　to　God！〃　shrieked　out　Eleanor；　learning　all

from　the　woful　import　of　those　dreary　eyes。　　Her　cries　thrilled

through　the　house；　the　children's　piping　wailings　and　passionate

cries　on　〃Daddy！　　Daddy！〃　pierced　into　Susan's　very　marrow。　　But　she

remained　as　still　and　tearless　as　the　great　round　face　upon　the

clock。



At　last；　in　a　lull　of　crying；　she　said；not　exactly　questioning；　but

as　if　partly　to　herself　…



〃You　loved　him；　then？〃



〃Loved　him！　he　was　my　husband！　　He　was　the　father　of　three　bonny

bairns　that　lie　dead　in　Grasmere　churchyard。　　I　wish　you'd　go；　Susan

Dixon；　and　let　me　weep　without　your　watching　me！　　I　wish　you'd　never

come　near　the　place。〃



〃Alas！　alas！　it　would　not　have　brought　him　to　life。　　I　would　have

laid　down　my　own　to　save　his。　　My　life　has　been　so　very　sad！　　No　one

would　have　cared　if　I　had　died。　　Alas！　alas！〃



The　tone　in　which　she　said　this　was　so　utterly　mournful　and

despairing　that　it　awed　Nelly　into　quiet　for　a　time。　　But　by…and…by

she　said；　〃I　would　not　turn　a　dog　out　to　do　it　harm；　but　the　night　is

clear；　and　Tommy　shall　guide　you　to　the　Red　Cow。　　But；　oh；　I　want　to

be　alone！　　If　you'll　come　back　to…morrow；　I'll　be　better；　and　I'll

hear　all；　and　thank　you　for　every　kindness　you　have　shown　him；and　I

do　believe　you've　showed　him　kindness；though　I　don't　know　why。〃



Susan　moved　heavily　and　strangely。



She　said　somethingher　words　came　thick　and　unintelligible。　　She　had

had　a　paralytic　stroke　since　she　had　last　spoken。　　She　could　not　go；

even　if　she　would。　　Nor　did　Eleanor；　when　she　became　aware　of　the

state　of　the　case；　wish　her　to　leave。　　She　had　her　laid　on　her　own

bed；　and　weeping　silently　all　the　while　for　her　lest　husband；　she

nursed　Susan　like　a　sister。　　She　did　not　know　what　her　guest's

worldly　position　might　be；　and　she　might　never　be　repaid。　　But　she

sold　many　a　little　trifle　to　purchase　such　small　comforts　as　Susan

needed。　　Susan；　lying　still　and　motionless；　learnt　much。　　It　was　not

a　severe　stroke；　it　might　be　the　forerunner　of　others　yet　to　come；

but　at　some　distance　of　time。　　But　for　the　present　she　recovered；　and

regained　much　of　her　former　health。　　On　her　sick…bed　she　matured　her

plans。　　When　she　returned　to　Yew　Nook；　she　took　Michael　Hurst's　widow

and　children　with　her　to　live　there；　and　fill　up　the　haunted　hearth

with　living　forms　that　should　banish　the　ghosts。



And　so　it　fell　out　that　the　latter　days　of　Susan　Dixon's　life　were

better　than　the　former。











End