the nabob-第40章
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ily lamp； alas！ so abruptly extinguished。
Having been admitted to this charming intimacy； he remained in it； took his lessons in the presence of the girls and was encouraged to chat with them when the good old man closed his big book。 Here everything rested him after the whirl of that life into which he was thrown by the luxurious social existence of the Nabob； he come to renew his strength in this atmosphere of honesty； of simplicity； tried； too； to find healing there for the wounds with which a hand more indifferent than cruel stabbed his heart mercilessly。
〃Some women have hated me； other women have loved me。 She who has hurt me most never either loved or hated me。〃 Paul had met that woman of whom Henri Heine speaks。 Felicia was full of welcome and cordiality for him。 There was no one whom she treated with more favour。 She used to reserve for him a special smile wherein one felt the kindliness of an artist's eye arrested by and dwelling on a pleasing type； and the satisfaction of a jaded mind amused by anything new； however simple in appearance it may be。 She liked that reserve； suggestive in a southerner； the honesty of that judgment； independent of every artistic or social formula and enlivened by a touch of provincial accent。 These things were a change for her from the zigzag stroke of the thumb illustrating a eulogy with its gesture of the studio； from the compliments of comrades on the way in which she would snub some old fellow； or again from those affected admirations； from the 〃char…ar…ming； very nice indeed's〃 with which young men about town； sucking the knobs of their canes； were accustomed to regale her。 This young man at any rate did not say such things as that to her。 She had nicknamed him Minerva； on account of his apparent tranquility and the regularity of his profile； and the moment she saw him； however far… off； she would call：
〃Ah； here comes Minerva。 Hail； beautiful Minerva！ Put down your helmet and let us have a chat。〃
But this familiar； almost fraternal； tone convinced the young man that he would make no further advance into that feminine comradeship in which tenderness was wanting； and that he lost each day something of his charmthe charm of the unforeseenin the eyes of that woman born weary； who seemed to have already lived her life and found in all that she heard or saw the insipidity of a repetition。 Felicia was bored。 Her art alone could distract her； carry her away； transport her into a dazzling fairyland； whence she would fall back worn out； surprised each time by this awakening like a physical fall。 She used to draw a comparison between herself and those jelly…fish whose transparent brilliancy； so much alive in the cool movements of the waves； drift to their death on the shore in little gelatinous pools。 During those times devoid of inspiration； when the artist's hand was heavy on his instrument； Felicia； deprived of the one moral support of her intellectual being； became unsociable； unapproachable； a tormenting mockerthe revenge taken of human weakness on the tired brains of genius。 After having brought tears to the eyes of every one who cared for her； raking up painful recollections or enervating anxieties； she reached the lowest depths of her fatigue； and as there was always some fun in her； even in her /ennui/ in a kind of caged wild…beast's howl； which she called 〃the cry of the jackal in the desert；〃 and which used to make the good Crenmitz turn pale。
Poor Felicia！ That life of hers was indeed a frightful desert when art did not beguile it with its illusions； a desert mournful and flat； where everything was lost； reduced to one level； beneath the same monotonous immensity； the naive love of a child of twenty； a passionate duke's caprice； in which all was overwhelmed by an arid sand driven by blasting fates。 Paul was conscious of that void； desired to escape it； but something held him back； like a weight which unrolls a chain； and in spite of the calumnies he heard； and notwithstanding the odd whims of the strange creature； he dallied deliciously after her； at the price of bearing away with him from this long lover's contemplation only the despair of a believer reduced to the adoring of images alone。
The refuge lay down there； in that remote quarter of the town where the wind blew so hard； yet without preventing the flame from mounting white and straightit was the family circle presided over by Bonne Maman。 Oh！ she at least was not bored； she never uttered the cry of the 〃jackal in the desert。〃 Her life was far too full； the father to encourage； to sustain； the children to teach； all the material cares of a home where the mother's hand is wanting； those preoccupations that awake with the dawn and are put to sleep by the evening； unless indeed it bring them back in dream； one of those devotions； tireless but without apparent effort； very pleasant for poor human egotism； because they dispense from all gratitude and hardly make themselves felt； so light is their hand。 She was not the courageous daughter who works to support her parents； gives private lessons from morning to night； forgets in the excitement of a profession all the troubles of the household。 No； she had understood her task in a different sense； a sedentary bee restricting her cares to the hive； without once humming out of doors in the open air among the flowers。 A thousand functions： tailoress； milliner； mender of clothes； bookkeeper also for M。 Joyeuse； who； incapable of all responsibility； left to her the free disposal of their means； to be pianoforte…teacher； governess。
As it happens in families that have been in a good position； Aline； as the eldest daughter； had been educated at one of the best boarding… schools in Paris。 Elise had been with her there for two years； but the last two； born too late； and sent to small day…schools in the locality； had all their studies yet to complete； and this was no easy matter； the youngest laughing upon every occasion from sheer good health； warbling like a lark intoxicated with the delight of green corn； and flying away far out of sight of desk and exercises； while Mlle。 Henriette； ever haunted by her ideas of grandeur； her love of luxurious things； took to work hardly less unwillingly。 This young person of fifteen； to whom her father had transmitted something of his imaginative faculties； was already arranging her life in advance and declared formally that she should marry one of the nobility； and would never have more than three children： 〃A boy to inherit the name and two little girlsso as to be able to dress them alike。〃
〃Yes； that's right；〃 Bonne Maman would say； 〃you shall dress them alike。 In the meantime； let us attend to our participles a little。〃
But the one who caused the most concern was Elise； with her examination taken thrice without success； always failing in history and preparing herself anew； seized by a deep fear and a mistrust of herself which made her carry about with her everywhere and open every moment that unfortunate history of France； in the omnibus； in the street； even at the luncheon…table； she was already a grown girl and very pretty； and she no longer possessed that little mechanical memory of childhood wherein dates and events lodge themselves for the whole of one's life。 Beset by other preoccupations； the lesson was forgotten in an instant； despite the apparent application of the pupil； with her long lashes fringing her eyes； her curls sweeping over the pages； and her rosy mouth animated by a little quiver of attention； repeating ten times in succession： 〃Louis； surnamed le Hutin； 1314…1316； Philip V； surnamed the Long； 1316…1322。 Ah； Bonne Maman； it's no good； I shall never know them。〃 Whereupon Bonne Maman would come to her assistance； help her to concentrate her attention； to store up a few of those dates of the Middle Ages； barbarous and sharp as the helmets of the warriors of the period。 And in the intervals of these occupations； of this general and constant superintendence； she yet found time to do some pretty needlework； to extract from her work…basket some delicate crochet lace or a piece of tapestry on which she was engaged and to which she clung as closely as the young Elise to her history of France。 Even when she talked； her fin
