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第15章

lazy tour of two idle apprentices-第15章

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have the following report screwed out of him。



In brief; it was the most delightful place ever seen。



'But;' Thomas Idle asked; 'where is it?'



'It's what you may call generally up and down the beach; here and

there;' said Mr。 Goodchild; with a twist of his hand。



'Proceed;' said Thomas Idle。



It was; Mr。 Goodchild went on to say; in cross…examination; what

you might call a primitive place。  Large?  No; it was not large。

Who ever expected it would be large?  Shape?  What a question to

ask!  No shape。  What sort of a street?  Why; no street。  Shops?

Yes; of course (quite indignant)。  How many?  Who ever went into a

place to count the shops?  Ever so many。  Six?  Perhaps。  A

library?  Why; of course (indignant again)。  Good collection of

books?  Most likely … couldn't say … had seen nothing in it but a

pair of scales。  Any reading…room?  Of course; there was a reading…

room。  Where?  Where! why; over there。  Where was over there?  Why;

THERE!  Let Mr。 Idle carry his eye to that bit of waste ground

above high…water mark; where the rank grass and loose stones were

most in a litter; and he would see a sort of long; ruinous brick

loft; next door to a ruinous brick out…house; which loft had a

ladder outside; to get up by。  That was the reading…room; and if

Mr。 Idle didn't like the idea of a weaver's shuttle throbbing under

a reading…room; that was his look out。  HE was not to dictate; Mr。

Goodchild supposed (indignant again); to the company。



'By…the…by;' Thomas Idle observed; 'the company?'



Well! (Mr。 Goodchild went on to report) very nice company。  Where

were they?  Why; there they were。  Mr。 Idle could see the tops of

their hats; he supposed。  What?  Those nine straw hats again; five

gentlemen's and four ladies'?  Yes; to be sure。  Mr。 Goodchild

hoped the company were not to be expected to wear helmets; to

please Mr。 Idle。



Beginning to recover his temper at about this point; Mr。 Goodchild

voluntarily reported that if you wanted to be primitive; you could

be primitive here; and that if you wanted to be idle; you could be

idle here。  In the course of some days; he added; that there were

three fishing…boats; but no rigging; and that there were plenty of

fishermen who never fished。  That they got their living entirely by

looking at the ocean。  What nourishment they looked out of it to

support their strength; he couldn't say; but; he supposed it was

some sort of Iodine。  The place was full of their children; who

were always upside down on the public buildings (two small bridges

over the brook); and always hurting themselves or one another; so

that their wailings made more continual noise in the air than could

have been got in a busy place。  The houses people lodged in; were

nowhere in particular; and were in capital accordance with the

beach; being all more or less cracked and damaged as its shells

were; and all empty … as its shells were。  Among them; was an

edifice of destitute appearance; with a number of wall…eyed windows

in it; looking desperately out to Scotland as if for help; which

said it was a Bazaar (and it ought to know); and where you might

buy anything you wanted … supposing what you wanted; was a little

camp…stool or a child's wheelbarrow。  The brook crawled or stopped

between the houses and the sea; and the donkey was always running

away; and when he got into the brook he was pelted out with stones;

which never hit him; and which always hit some of the children who

were upside down on the public buildings; and made their

lamentations louder。  This donkey was the public excitement of

Allonby; and was probably supported at the public expense。



The foregoing descriptions; delivered in separate items; on

separate days of adventurous discovery; Mr。 Goodchild severally

wound up; by looking out of window; looking in again; and saying;

'But there is the sea; and here are the shrimps … let us eat 'em。'



There were fine sunsets at Allonby when the low flat beach; with

its pools of water and its dry patches; changed into long bars of

silver and gold in various states of burnishing; and there were

fine views … on fine days … of the Scottish coast。  But; when it

rained at Allonby; Allonby thrown back upon its ragged self; became

a kind of place which the donkey seemed to have found out; and to

have his highly sagacious reasons for wishing to bolt from。  Thomas

Idle observed; too; that Mr。 Goodchild; with a noble show of

disinterestedness; became every day more ready to walk to Maryport

and back; for letters; and suspicions began to harbour in the mind

of Thomas; that his friend deceived him; and that Maryport was a

preferable place。



Therefore; Thomas said to Francis on a day when they had looked at

the sea and eaten the shrimps; 'My mind misgives me; Goodchild;

that you go to Maryport; like the boy in the story…book; to ask IT

to be idle with you。'



'Judge; then;' returned Francis; adopting the style of the story…

book; 'with what success。  I go to a region which is a bit of

water…side Bristol; with a slice of Wapping; a seasoning of

Wolverhampton; and a garnish of Portsmouth; and I say; 〃Will YOU

come and be idle with me?〃  And it answers; 〃No; for I am a great

deal too vaporous; and a great deal too rusty; and a great deal too

muddy; and a great deal too dirty altogether; and I have ships to

load; and pitch and tar to boil; and iron to hammer; and steam to

get up; and smoke to make; and stone to quarry; and fifty other

disagreeable things to do; and I can't be idle with you。〃  Then I

go into jagged up…hill and down…hill streets; where I am in the

pastrycook's shop at one moment; and next moment in savage

fastnesses of moor and morass; beyond the confines of civilisation;

and I say to those murky and black…dusty streets; 〃Will YOU come

and be idle with me?〃  To which they reply; 〃No; we can't; indeed;

for we haven't the spirits; and we are startled by the echo of your

feet on the sharp pavement; and we have so many goods in our shop…

windows which nobody wants; and we have so much to do for a limited

public which never comes to us to be done for; that we are

altogether out of sorts and can't enjoy ourselves with any one。〃

So I go to the Post…office; and knock at the shutter; and I say to

the Post…master; 〃Will YOU come and be idle with me?〃  To which he

rejoins; 〃No; I really can't; for I live; as you may see; in such a

very little Post…office; and pass my life behind such a very little

shutter; that my hand; when I put it out; is as the hand of a giant

crammed through the window of a dwarf's house at a fair; and I am a

mere Post…office anchorite in a cell much too small for him; and I

can't get out; and I can't get in; and I have no space to be idle

in; even if I would。〃  So; the boy;' said Mr。 Goodchild; concluding

the tale; 'comes back with the letters after all; and lives happy

never afterwards。'



But it may; not unreasonably; be asked … while Francis Goodchild

was wandering hither and thither; storing his mind with perpetual

observation of men and things; and sincerely believing himself to

be the laziest creature in existence all the time … how did Thomas

Idle; crippled and confined to the house; contrive to get through

the hours of the day?



Prone on the sofa; Thomas made no attempt to get through the hours;

but passively allowed the hours to get through HIM。  Where other

men in his situation would have read books and improved their

minds; Thomas slept and rested his body。  Where other men would

have pondered anxiously over their future prospects; Thomas dreamed

lazily of his past life。  The one solitary thing he did; which most

other people would have done in his place; was to resolve on making

certain alterations and improvements in his mode of existence; as

soon as the effects of the misfortune that had overtaken him had

all passed away。  Remembering that the current of his life had

hitherto oozed along in one smooth

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