tg.wizardfirstrule-第30章

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　The　wisp　had　said　to　seek　the　answer　or　die。　It　didn't　say　it　was　necessary　to　bee　this　Seeker。　He　could　find　the　answers　in　his　own　way；　as　he　always　had。　He　hadn't　needed　the　sword　to　figure　out　who　the　wizard　was；　although　it　hadn't　been　that　hard。
　
　But　what　was　wrong　with　taking　the　sword？　What　could　it　hurt　to　have　its　help？　Wouldn't　it　be　foolish　to　turn　down　any　assistance？　Apparently　the　sword　could　be　put　to　any　use　its　owner　wanted；　so　why　not　use　it　in　the　way　he　wanted？　He　didn't　have　to　bee　an　assassin；　or　anything　else。　He　could　use　it　to　help　them；　that　was　all。　That　was　all　that　was　needed；　or　wanted；　no　more
　
　But。　Richard　knew　why　he　didn't　want　it。　He　didn't　like　the　way　it　had　felt　when　he　had　drawn　the　sword。　It　had　felt　good；　and　that　bothered　him。　It　had　stirred　his　anger　in　a　way　that　frightened　him；　made　him　feel　like　…he　had　never　felt　before。　The　most　disconcerting　thing　was　that　it　felt　right。　He　didn't　want　to　feel　right　about　anger；　didn't　want　to　lose　his　control　of　it。　Anger　was　wrong。　That's　what　his　father　had　taught　him。　Anger　had　killed　his　mother。　He　kept　his　anger　behind　a　locked　door　he　didn't　want　opened。　No；　he　would　do　this　in　his　own　way；　without　the　sword。　He　didn't　need　it；　'didn't　need　the　worry　of　it。
　
　Richard　turned　to　Zedd；　who　still　sat　with　his　arms　folded　across　his　chest；　watching。　The　sunlight　gave　Zedd's　wrinkles　deep　shadows。　The　lines　and　sharp　angles　of　his　familiar　face　seemed　somehow　different。　He　looked　grim；　resolute…somehow　more　like　a　wizard。　Their　eyes　met　and　held　each　other。　Richard　was　decided。　He　would　tell　his　friend　no。　He　would　help；　and　would　stand　by　them。　His　life；　too；　depended　on　this。　But　he　would　not　be　the　Seeker。　Before　he　could　say　so；　Zedd　spoke。
　
　〃Kahlan；　tell　Richard　how　Darken　Rahl　questions　people。〃　His　voice　was　quiet；　calm。　He　didn't　look　at　her；　instead　continuing。　to　hold　Richard's　eyes。
　
　Her　voice　was　barely　audible。　〃Zedd；　please。〃
　
　〃Tell　him。〃　This　time　his　voice　was　harder；　more　forceful。　〃Tell　him　what　he　does　with　the　curved　knife　he　keeps　at　his　belt。〃
　
　Richard　looked　away　from　Zedd's　eyes　to　her　pale　face。　After　a　moment　she　held　out　her　hand；　and　looked　up　at　him　with　sad；　green　eyes；　beckoning　him　to　e　to　her。　He　stood　a　moment；　wary；　then　came　and　took　her　hand。　She　pulled　him　down　toward　her。　He　sat；　straddling　the　bench；　facing　her；　waiting　for　what　it　was　she　was　bidden　to　say；　fearing　it。
　
　Kahlan　shifted　toward　him；　hooking　some　hair　behind　an　ear；　and　looked　down　at　his　right　hand　as　she　held　it　in　both　of　hers；　stroking　the　back　of　it　with　her　thumbs。　Her　fingers　were　gentle；　soft；　and　warm　against　his　palm。　The　size　of　her　hands　made　his　seem　awkwardly　large。　She　spoke　quietly　and　didn't　look　up。
　
　〃Darken　Rahl　is　a　practitioner　of　an　ancient　form　of　magic　called　anthropomancy。　He　divines　the　answers　to　questions　by　the　inspection　of　living　human　entrails。〃
　
　Richard　felt　his　anger　ignite。
　
　〃It's　of　limited　use；　he　can　at　most　get　a　yes　or　no　to　a　single　question；　and　sometimes；　a　name。　Nonetheless；　he　continues　to　favor　its　use。　I'm　sorry；　Richard。　Please　forgive　me　for　telling　you　this。〃
　
　Memories　of　his　father's　kindness；　his　laughter；　his　love；　his　friendship；　their　time　together　with　the　secret　book；　and　a　thousand　other　brief　glimpses　tore　through　him　in　a　flood　of　anguish。　The　scenes　and　sounds　converged　into　dim　shadows　and　hollow　echoes　in　Richard's　mind　and　melted　away。　In　its　pace；　memories　of　the　bloodstains　on　the　floor；　the　white　faces　of　the　people　there；　images　of　his　father's　pain　and　terror；　and　the　things　Chase　had　told　him　flashed　vividly　in　snatches　through　his　mind。　He　didn't　try　to　stop　them；　but　instead　pulled　them　onward；　hungering　for　them。　He　washed　himself　in　the　detail　of　it　all；　felt　the　twisting　torment。　Pain　flared　up　from　a　pit　deep　inside　him。　Invoked　heedlessly；　it　came　screaming　forth。　In　his　mind　he　added　the　shadowed　figure　of　Darken　Rahl；　hands　dripping　crimson　blood；　standing　over　his　father's　body；　holding　the　red；　glinting　blade。　He　held　the　vision　before　him；　twisting　it；　inspecting　it；　drinking　it　into　his　soul。　The　picture　was　plete　now。　He　had　his　answers。　He　knew　how　it　had　been。　How　his　father　had　died。　Until　now　that　was　all　he　had　ever　sought…answers。　In　his　whole　life；　he　had　never　gone　beyond　that　simple　quest。
　
　In　one　white…hot　instant　that　changed。
　
　The　door　that　held　back　his　anger；　and　the　wall　of　reason　containing　his　temper；　burned　away　in　a　flash　of　hot　desire。　A　lifetime　of　rational　thinking　evaporated　before　his　searing　fury。　Lucidity　became　dross　in　a　cauldron　of　molten　need。
　
　Richard　reached　out　to　the　Sword　of　Truth；　curled　his　fingers　around　the　scabbard；　gripping　it　tighter　and　tighter　until　his　knuckles　were　white。　The　muscles　in　his　jaw　flexed。　His　breathing　came　fast　and　sharp。　He　saw　nothing　else　of　what　was　around　him。　The　heat　of　anger　surged　forth　from　the　sword；　not　of　its　own　volition；　but　summoned　by　the　Seeker。
　
　Richard's　chest　heaved　with　the　burning　hurt　of　his　grief　at　knowing　now　what　had　happened　to　his　father；　and　with　that　knowledge　there　was　closure；　too。　Thoughts　he　had　never　permitted　himself　to　have　became　his　only　desire。　Caution　and　consequence　vanished　before　a　flood　of　lust　for　vengeance。
　
　In　that　instant；　his　only　want；　his　only　desire；　his　only　need；　was　to　kill　Darken　Rahl。　Nothing　else　had　any　significance。
　
　With　his　other　hand　he　reached　out　and　seized　the　hilt　of　his　sword　to　pull　it　free。　Zedd's　hand　clamped　down　over　his。　The　Seeker's　eyes　snapped　up；　livid　at　the　interference。
　
　〃Richard。〃　Zedd's　voice　was　gentle。　〃Calm　down。〃
　
　The　Seeker；　his　muscles　flexing　powerfully；　glowered　into　the　other's　tranquil　eyes。　Some　part　of　him；　deep　in　the　back　of　his　mind；　kept　warning　him；　trying　to　regain　control。　He　ignored　the　warming。　He　bent　over　the　table　to　the　wizard；　his　teeth　gritted。
　
　〃I　accept　the　position　of　Seeker。〃
　
　〃Richard；〃　…Zedd　repeated　calmly；　〃it's　all　right。　Relax。　Sit　down。〃
　
　The　world　came　rushing　back　into　his　mind。　He　pulled　his　readiness　to　kill　back　a　notch；　but　not　his　rage。　Not　only　the　door；　but　also　the　wall　that　had　contained　his　anger；　was　gone。　Even　though　the　world　about　him　had　returned；　it　was　a　world　seen　through　different　eyes…eyes　he　had　always　had；　but　had　been　afraid　to　use：　the　eyes　of　a　Seeker。
　
　Richard　realized　that　he　was　standing。　He　didn't　remember　getting　up。　He　sat　again　next　to　Kahlan；　removing　his；　hands　from　the　sword。　Something　inside　him　regained　control　of　his　anger。　It　wasn't　the　same　as　before；　though。　It　didn't　shut　it　away；　didn't　lock　it　behind　a　door；　but　pulled　it　back；　unafraid；　to　make　it　ready　when　needed　again。
　
　Some　of　his　old　self　seeped　back　into　his　mind；　calming　him；　slowing　his　breathing；　reasoning　within　him。　He　felt　liberated；　unafraid；　unashamed　of　his　temper　for　the　first　time。　He　allowed　himself　to　sit　there　while　he　uncoiled；　feeling　his　muscles　relax。
　
　He　looked　up　into　Zedd's　calm；　undisturbed　face。　The　old　man；　his　thatch　of　white　hair　framing　an　angular　face　set　in　a　perceptive　cast；　studied　him；　assessed　him　with　the　slightest　hint　of　a　smile　fixed　at　the　corners　of　his　thin　mouth。
　
　〃Congratulations；〃　the　wizard　said。　〃You　have　passed　my　final　test　to　bee　Seeker。〃　Richard　pulled　back　in　confusion。　〃What　do　you　mean？　You　already　appointed　me　Seeker。〃
　
　Zedd　shook　his　head　slowly。　〃I　told　you　before。　Weren't　you　listening？　A　Seeker　appoints　himself。　Before　you　could　bee　Seeker　you　had　to　pass　one　determinative　test。　You　had　to　show　me　you　could　use　all　your　mind。　For　many　years；　Richard；　you　have　kept　part　of　it　locked　away。　Your　anger。　I　had　to　know　you　could　release　it；　call　upon　it。　I've　seen　you　angry；　but　you　were　unable　to　admit　your　anger　to　yourself。　A　Seeker　who　couldn't　allow　himself　to　use　his　anger　would　be　hopelessly　weak。　It　is　the　strength　of　rage　that　gives　the　heedless　drive　to　prevail。　Without　the　anger；　you　would　have　turned　down　the　sword；　and　I　would　have　let　you；　because　you　wouldn't　have　had　what　was　required。　But　that　is　irrelevant　now。　You　have　proven　you　are　no　longer