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第26章

生命不能承受之轻-第26章

小说: 生命不能承受之轻 字数: 每页4000字

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e bar。 And through it all she had Karenin lying docilely at her feet。
It was long past midnight before she had finished her accounts and delivered the cash receipts to the hotel director。 She then went to say good…bye to the ambassador; who had night duty。 The door behind the reception desk led to a tiny room with a narrow cot where he could take a nap。 The wall above the cot was covered with framed photographs of himself and various people smiling at the camera or shaking his hand or sitting next to him at a table and signing something or other。 Some of them were autographed。 In the place of honor hung a picture showing; side by side with his own face; the smiling face of John F。 Kennedy。
When Tereza entered the room that night; she found him talking not to Kennedy but to a man of about sixty whom she had never seen before and who fell silent as soon as he saw her。
It's all right; said the ambassador。 She's a friend。 You can speak freely in front of her。 Then he turned to Tereza。 His son got five years today。 
During the first days of the invasion; she learned; the man's son and some friends had stood watch over the entrance to a building housing the Russian army special staff。 Since any Czechs they saw coming or going were clearly agents in the service of the Russians; he and his friends trailed them; traced the number plates of their cars; and passed on the information to the pro…Dubcek clandestine radio and television broadcasters; who then warned the public。 In the process the boy and his friends had given one of the traitors a thorough going over。
The boy's father said; This photograph was the only corpus delicti。 He denied it all until they showed it to him。 
He took a clipping out of his wallet。 It came out in the Times in the autumn of 1968。 
It was a picture of a young man grabbing another man by the throat and a crowd looking on in the background。 Collaborator Punished read the caption。
Tereza let out her breath。 No; it wasn't one of hers。
Walking home with Karenin through nocturnal Prague; she thought of the days she had spent photographing tanks。 How naive they had been; thinking they were risking their lives for their country when in fact they were helping the Russian police。
She got home at half past one。 Tomas was asleep。 His hair gave off the aroma of a woman's groin。
8
What is flirtation? One might say that it is behavior leading another to believe that sexual intimacy is possible; while preventing that possibility from becoming a certainty。 In other words; flirting is a promise of sexual intercourse without a guarantee。
When Tereza stood behind the bar; the men whose drinks she poured flirted with her。 Was she annoyed by the unending ebb and flow of flattery; double entendres; off…color stories; propositions; smiles; and glances? Not in the least。 She had an irresistible desire to expose her body (that alien body she wanted to expel into the big wide world) to the undertow。
Tomas kept trying to convince her that love and lovemaking were two different things。 She refused to understand。 Now she was surrounded by men she did not care for in the slightest。 What would making love with them be like? She yearned to try it; if only in the form of that no…guarantee promise called flirting。
Let there be no mistake: Tereza did not wish to take revenge on Tomas; she merely wished to find a way out of the maze。 She knew that she had become a burden to him: she took things too seriously; turning everything into a tragedy; and failed to grasp the lightness and amusing insignificance of physical love。 How she wished she could learn lightness! She yearned for someone to help her out of her anachronistic shell。
If for some women flirting is second nature; insignificant; routine; for Tereza it had developed into an important field of research with the goal of teaching her who she was and what she was capable of。 But by making it important and serious; she deprived it of its lightness; and it became forced; labored; overdone。 She disturbed the balance between promise and lack of guarantee (which; when maintained; is a sign of flirtistic virtuosity); she promised too ardently; and without making it clear that the promise involved no guarantee on her part。 Which is another way of saying that she gave everyone the impression of being there for the taking。 But when men responded by asking for what they felt they had been promised; they met with strong resistance; and their only explanation for it was that she was deceitful and malicious。
9
One day; a boy of about sixteen perched himself on a bar stool and dropped a few provocative phrases that stood out in the general conversation like a false line in a drawing; a line that can be neither continued nor erased。
That's some pair of legs you've got there。 
So you can see through wood! she fired back。 I've watched you in the street; he responded; but by then she had turned away and was serving another customer。 When she had finished; he ordered a cognac。 She shook her head。 But I'm eighteen! he objected。 May I see your identification card? Tereza said。 You may not; the boy answered。 Then how about a soft drink? said Tereza。 Without a word; the boy stood up from the bar stool and left。 He was back about a half hour later。 With exaggerated gestures; he took a seat at the bar。 There was enough alcohol on his breath to cover a ten…foot radius。 Give me that soft drink; he commanded。
Why; you're drunk! said Tereza。 The boy pointed to a sign hanging on the wall behind Tereza's back: Sale of Alcoholic Beverages to Minors Is Strictly Prohibited。 You are prohibited from serving me alcohol; he said; sweeping his arm from the sign to Tereza; but I am not prohibited from being drunk。 
Where did you get so drunk? Tereza asked。 In the bar across the street; he said; laughing; and asked again for a soft drink。
Well; why didn't you stay there? Because I wanted to look at you; he said。 I love you! His face contorted oddly as he said it; and Tereza had trouble deciding whether he was sneering; making advances; or joking。 Or was he simply so drunk that he had no idea what he was saying?
She put the soft drink down in front of him and went back to her other customers。 The I love you! seemed to have exhausted the boy's resources。 He emptied his glass in silence; left money on the counter; and slipped out before Tereza had time to look up again。
A moment after he left; a short; bald…headed man; who was on his third vodka; said; You ought to know that serving young people alcohol is against the law。 
I didn't serve him alcohol! That was a soft drink! 
I saw what you slipped into it! 
What are you talking about? 
Give me another vodka; said the bald man; and added; I've had my eye on you for some time now。 
Then why not be grateful for the view of a beautiful woman and keep your mouth shut? interjected a tall man who had stepped up to the bar in time to observe the entire scene。
You stay out of this! shouted the bald man。 What business is it of yours? 
And what business is it of yours; if I may ask? the tall man retorted。
Tereza served the bald man his vodka。 He downed it at one gulp; paid; and departed。
Thank you; said Tereza to the tall man。
Don't mention it; said the tall man; and went his way; too。
10
A few days later; he turned up at the bar again。 When she saw him; she smiled at him like a friend。 Thanks again。 That bald fellow comes in all the time。 He's terribly unpleasant。 
Forget him。 
What makes him want to hurt me? 
He's a petty little drunk。 Forget him。 
If you say so。 
The tall man looked in her eyes。 Promise? 
I promise。 
I like hearing you make me promises; he said; still looking in her eyes。
The flirtation was on: the behavior leading another to believe that sexual intimacy is possible; even though the possibility itself remains in the realm of theory; in suspense。
What's a beautiful girl like you doing in the ugliest part of Prague? 
And you? she countered。 What are you doing in the ugliest part of Prague? 
He told her he lived nearby。 He was an engineer and had stopped off on his way home from work the other day by sheer chance。
11
When Tereza looked at Tomas; her eyes went not to his eyes but to a point three or four inches higher; to his hair; whic

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