tg.stone of tears-第80章
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business； we can’t force you； but a wizard you will be。’
‘Teach me what I need to know； but I’ll not be a wizard。’
‘It is not something evil； Richard。 It is just learning to know yourself； what you are capable of； what your talents are。’
Richard sighed。 Tine。 So how do I control it？’
Teaching control of the gift is a process taken in steps。 I cannot explain it to you all at once because you would be unable to understand steps further along。 Each step must be mastered before you can move on to the next。
‘Before we can show you how to project the Han outside yourself； you must first recognize it； and then be able to touch it； join with it within yourself。 You must know what it is。 You must be able to feel it。 You must be able to reach； for it； touch it； at will。 You understand what I am saying； yes？’
Richard nodded。 ‘A little； I guess。 So what is it？ How will I know it？ What is it like to know it； to touch it？’
Sister Verna’s eyes became distant； seeming to go out of focus。 ‘You will know it；’ she whispered。 ‘It is like seeing the light given off by the Creator。 It is almost like joining with Him。’
Richard watched her glazed expression。 She seemed enthralled by what she was seeing within herself。
‘So how do I find it？’ he asked at last。
Her eyes focused on him。 ‘You must search for it； within yourself。’
‘How？’
‘You simply sit； and search within。 You put all other thoughts aside； and seek the quiet； the calm； within yourself。 At first； it is helpful if you close your eyes； breathe slowly； evenly； and let yourself find the peace of nothingness。 In the beginning； it helps to focus on a single thing； in order to exclude all distracting thoughts。’
‘A single thing？ Like what？’
She shrugged。 ‘Whatever you wish。 It is only a device to help you reach the end； not the end in itself。 Everyone is different。 Some use a single word； repeating it over and over to the exclusion of all else。 Some use a mental picture of a simple object； using it to bring their mind into focus。 Eventually； after you learn to recognize the power； to touch it and bee one with it； you won’t need to focus on a device first。 You will know the nature of Han； and be able to reach directly for it。 It will bee second nature to you。 I know it sounds strange and difficult to you now； Richard； but in time you will find it as easy as it is for you to call forth the magic of your sword。’
Richard had the uneasy feeling that he already knew what she was talking about。 He could almost understand what she was saying。 The words seemed strange； but they described something that was somehow familiar； yet different。
‘So you just wish me to sit and close my eyes and seek the quiet within？’
She nodded。 ‘Yes。’ Sister Verna pulled her heavy brown cloak tighter around her shoulders。 ‘You may begin。’
Richard let out a breath。 ‘All right。’
He closed his eyes。 It seemed his thoughts were scattering in all directions at once。 He tried to herd them away。 He tried to think of a word or a picture to focus on。 He thought of Kahlan’s name before anything else。 He let it flow like liquid through his mind。 Kahlan。 He rejected the idea。 He hated his magic； and didn’t want to associate her with anything he hated。 Besides； the thought of her only brought pain； the pain of loving her enough to give her what she wanted； of having set her free。
He thought of simple words； simple objects； but none held any interest for him。 He calmed his mind and relaxed his breathing。 He sought peace within himself； a calm center； the way he had always done when he needed to think of a solution to a problem。 In the quiet； he tried to think of an image he could use。 It popped into his mind； almost of its own accord。
The Sword of Truth。
It was already magic； and therefore he wouldn’t be tainting it。 It was a simple image。 It seemed to fit the requirements。 It was settled。 It would be the Sword of Truth。
Richard pictured it floating by itself on a field of black。 He studied the details he knew so well： the polished blade with the fuller down its length； the aggressive； downswept crossguards； the hilt covered in fine； twisted silver wire with twisted gold wire woven through it forming the raised letters of the word Truth。
As he pictured it； fixing it in his mind； floating on a black background； something fought him。 It was the background； not the sword。 Around the edge of the black was white； forming the black into a square。 Richard remembered it from before。
It was one of the instructions in the Book of Counted Shadows； the book he had memorized when he was a boy。 Clear your mind of all thought； and in its place put nothing but the image of white with a square of black in its center。 It was part of the instructions for removing the covers from the boxes of Orden and using the magic of the book。 He had used that magic to show Darken Rahl how to remove the cover from a box to prove to him he truly did know the book。 But why would it be in his mind now？ Just a random memory forcing its way to the surface； he decided。
It was as good a background as any to put the sword on。 After all； he was trying to use magic。 If his mind wanted to use it； it made no difference to him； he would let it be。 At that thought； the image of the sword and a square black background with white around it solidified and became still。
Richard concentrated on the mental image of the sword against the black square with the white border。 He concentrated as hard as he could。 Something began to happen。
The sword； the black square； and the white border all began to shimmer as if seen through heat waves。 The solid form of the sword softened。 It became transparent； and then it was gone。 The background dissolved。 He was looking into a place he knew。
The Garden of Life； at the People’s Palace。
Richard thought it odd； and somewhat annoying； that he wasn’t able to hold his concentration enough to keep the image of the sword in his mind。 The memory of the place where he killed Darken Rahl must have been so strong that it forced its way into his mind while he was relaxed。
He was about to try to force the image of the sword to e back when he smelled something。 Burned flesh。 The stench made his nostrils flare。 He almost gagged。 His stomach turned sickeningly。
He searched the image of the Garden of Life。 It was like looking through a dirty windowpane。 There were bodies lying over the short walls； fallen； partly hidden； in bushes； and sprawled on the grass。 All were hideously burned。 Some held weapons； swords or battle…axes； in charred fists。 Others lay with open hands； their weapons resting where they had tumbled as their owners fell dead。 Choking apprehension swelled in Richard’s chest。
Richard saw the back of a white； glowing figure standing before the stone altar； before the three boxes of Orden。 One of the boxes stood open； as Richard remembered。 The white figure with long blond hair lifted his face away from the boxes。
Darken Rahl turned and looked right into Richard’s eyes。 His blue eyes glowed。 A smile spread slowly on his lips。 It seemed as if Richard was helplessly pulled closer。 Closer to the grinning face。
Darken Rahl lifted a hand to his mouth and licked the tips of his fingers。 ‘Richard；’ he hissed。 ‘I’m waiting for you。 e watch while I tear the veil。’
Unable to draw a breath； Richard slammed the image of the sword back into his mind； like slamming a door。 He held it there； rigidly； without the background； as he tried to make himself breathe。
It was just a stray memory； and his fear； making him see the image； he told himself。 He concentrated on the sword as he finally decided that what he had seen wasn’t real； but maybe a manifestation of his heartache over Kahlan； and his lack of sleep。
That’s what it had to be。 It couldn’t have been real。 That would be impossible。 He would have to be insane to believe it had been real。
He opened his eyes。 Sister Verna was sitting calmly watching him。 She gave a heavy sigh … he thought maybe out of displeasure。
